Why was the blonde hiding from exercise?
A. Because she was in the Fitness Protection Program.
Workout Tip: Run like there's a hot guy in front of
you and a creepy one behind you.
– Some Blonde, Duh!
What happened to the suicide blonde?
A. She dyed by her own hand.
What do you call six blondes standing ear to ear?
A. A wind tunnel.
News Reporter: Where is the best place to begin the fight
Blonde: Haunted houses. Duh!
What do you call a blonde who has lost half of her intelligence?
Why did the blonde throw a quarter at her boyfriend's head?
A. She was trying to knock some cents into him.
Why did the blonde cheerleader bring string to the Denver
A. In case they needed to help tie the score.
you hear about the blonde hipster who wore a jacket in Grand
Junction, Colorado during summer, before it was cool? EMTs
took her to the ER due to heat exhaustion.
My son came here to Denver on his summer vacation.
Friend: Did you meet him at DIA?
Blonde: No, I've known him his whole life.
What does Yoda say when some dumb blonde says something
he obviously already knew?
How are space aliens and smart blondes alike to a sci-fi
A. Neither has tried to contact him.
What is the difference between smart blondes and UFOs?
A. UFOs are reported all the time.
Which sci-fi gathering do busty blonde aliens attend?
A. Areola 51. Duh!
Blonde Logic of the Day: I'll bet you a quarter that you're
stupid. Heads I win, tails you lose.
Why did the bonde guy wear a sweater knitted out of Golden
A. 'Cause he wanted to look quite fetching.
Why is it so hard to talk to blondes about new high fashion
A. 'Cause it just goes in one year and out the other.
I always use one deodorant in my right arm pit and a different
deodorant in my other pit.
Gal Pal: Why?
Blonde: 'Cause that's just my two scents,
Why did the blonde hang a decorative curtain in her veggie
A. 'Cause it was the awning of the age of asparagus.
Why did the blonde buy another set of wind chimes to hang
in her yard?
A. 'Cause it was a sound investment. DUH!
can you spot the blonde who drank an entire bottle of wine?
She's the one dancing like a stripper...
What did the blonde say after somebody told her to drink
A. Duh! I don't speak French, plus I can't find that brand
What did the blonde leave the Broncos tailgating party crying?
A. Because they ran out of Coors Light in left-handed cans.
Why did it take the blonde guy a whole week to topple his
A. 'Cause foam wasn't spilt in a day!
Why did the blonde snort Sweet'n Low?
A. She thought it was Diet Coke.
Why did the blonde always leave a penny on the toilet lid
after taking a dump?
A. Just so that a cent covers the odor. DUH!
I know a pirate with a wooden leg named, "Bob."
Blonde: Reallly? I wonder what his hook is named?
What did they call the dumb blonde pirate?
A. The Pillage Idiot.
you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
Duh, she missed.
What do you call a dozen blondes standing in a circle?
A. A Dope Ring!
What is it called when a blonde guy blows in a blonde girl's
A. Data Transfer.
Why are there so few brunette jokes?
A. Because blondes have to think them up.
Why did the blonde skier cut a hole near the top of her
boyfriend's ski parka?
A. She wanted to give him the cold shoulder.
Why did the blonde toss her clock out the car window at
A. She wanted to see time travel fast.
What do you call a hot blonde time traveler who's late?
A. Pregnant. Duh!
Why did the blonde tape a bag of microwave popcorn to the
A. 'Cause the old smoke alarm needed to be replacef.
What did the blonde say after somebody told her to drink
A. Nyet! I can't find that brand anywhere!
Why was the blonde's year end resolution to stop using spray
A. 'Cause she wanted to roll in the new year.
Why was the blode wearing a bulletproof vest while using
A.To protect herself from screen shots. DUH!
Why did the blonde only consume coins and paper money?
A. 'Cause she was on a cash diet.
Why did the blonde pilot try to land on the river delta?
A. 'Cause it was a flood plane.
Why did the blonde in the car with the wild paint job get
A. The cops said it was a graphic violation.
What happened when the blonde left her ADHD medication in
her Ford Fiesta?
A. It turned into a Ford Focus.
Why did the traffic lights flash yellow?
A. They were programmed by a blonde!
What happened when the blonde went on a crash diet?
A. She crashed into two cars and took out a telephone pole!
you hear about the blonde jogger who got tired
while running in front of a car? Later when she ran behind
it, she was exhausted.
Why did the blonde stop using her exercise bike?
A. Because she simply wasn't getting anywhere.
Why did the blonde stop by the bowling alley when she got
a flat tire?
A. 'Cause they always have spares there!
What is one advantage of being with a blonde?
A. You can park in the handicap spot.
Why did the blonde guy put a stove in his car?
A. To get a hot rod.
How does a blonde measure IQ?
A. He holds a tire gauge to his ear.
Why did 17 blondes stand outside the rave?
A. The sign read: "Must be 18 to Enter."
Can domestic beer make you smarter?
Brunette: Well, it made Bud wiser.
How do you keep a blonde at home?
A. Build a circular driveway.
What do Aussie cannibals call it when they're having a petite
blonde for dinner?
Why did the blonde guy think he was safe from a zombie attack?
A. 'Cause zombies don't go after Brians.
blondes were out on opposite sides of the South Platte River
near Deckers. The first blonde shouts, "Hey, how do
I get to the other side?" The second blonde replies,
"You are on the other side! DUH!"
How did the blonde save the man who was drowning in the
A. She tossed him a bar of soap, and he washed up on shore.
Why did the blonde toss her jar of manonaise into the Colorado
River on May 5?
A. 'Cause it was Cinco de Mayo. DUH!
What happened when the blonde didn't look into his rearview
mirror before backing up?
A. He was dumbstruck.
What happened after a blonde put Red Bull in the hummingbird
A. She saw a bird actually travel back in time.
Why did the blonde put a bandage on her flamingo lawn ornament?
A. 'Cause it hurt its pinky. DUH!