Q. What does a tin foil hat protect the nerdy guy from?
A. Getting a date.

Q. Which kind of knitted hat do grocery store workers wear while replenishing shelves?
A. Stocking caps.

Q. Which profession is very admired?
A. Barbers. 'Cause you really have to take your hat off to them.

Q. Why was the blonde wearing a tin foil hat?
A. 'Cause it was her thinking cap. Duh!

Q. Why don't blondes like hat jokes?
A. 'Cause they go right over their heads!

Q. Why was the guy wearing his golf hat at the office?
A. 'Cause he was promoted to super-visor.

Q. How did the balding guy keep his new toupee a secret?
A. He kept it under his hat.

Q. Why should you be careful when trusting men wearing hats?
A. 'Cause they're always trying to cover something up!

Q. What's amazing about a construction worker's hard hat?
A. He can take it off, hold it to his ear, and hear the OSHA.

Q. What did the hat say to the shoe?
A. I'll go on a head, you just pace yourself.

Q. What did one beret say to another?
A. You stay here, and I'll go a tete.

Q. Why did the Pilgrims' pants always fall down?
A. Because they wore their buckles on their hats and shoes.

Q. Which kind of snake wears a hard hat during the day?
A. A boa constructor.

Heady Riddle of the Day: What starts with W and ends with HAT?

Q. Why did the guy wear a party hat on his knee?
A. The bonehead thought it would be funny.

Q. Why was the guy wearing a paper towel over his hair?
A. 'Cause he had a Bounty on his head.

Q. Where can you find the most citizens wearing hats and head wear?
A. Capital City has the most per capita.

Q. Which football player wears the biggest helmet?
A. The one with the biggest head!

Q. True of False: Small men like to wear pointy red hats.
A. True. It's a little gnome fact.

Q. What is it called when one man knocks the hat off another man?
A. Decapitation.

Q. Which angry guy absolutely will not go outside without his hat?
A. A hot head!

Q. What kind of hat did the Jolly Green Giant wear when he was a kid?
A. A green beanie. Ho, ho, ho.

Q. What do you call current day graduates of the Bavarian Enlightenment era secret society wearing tin foil hats?
A. The Aluminium-ati.

Q. Why was the blonde wearing a hat shaped like a grave tombstone?
A. 'Cause she had her hair died.

Q. Why did Grandpa lose his hat?
A. Hmm. That's a real head scratcher...

Q. Why did the blonde get a headache from wearing her dunce cap?
A. 'Cause she was a numb skull.

Q. What trick was the perverted magician famous for performing?
A. He pulled his top hat out of a rabbit.

Q. Which kind of hat expresses its wearer's snide attitude?
A. A razz beret.

Q. Which kind of hat is served for dessert at Paris cafes?
A. Blue beret pie.

Q. Which hat-wearing sould singer loved to perform in Paris?
A. Beret White.

Q. What did the Scottish hat maker name his daughter?
A. Tammy.

Q. What do hat makers call new little caps in the family?
A. Beanie Babies.

Q. Which breakfast cereal is the most fun to munch on while you're wearing a hat?
A. Cap 'N Crunch.

Q. What is it called when a grad tosses his hat too early during the graduation ceremony?
A. Premature e-cap-ulation.

Q. What is the stupidist fashion statement you can wear on your head?
A. A dunce cap.

Q. Why doesn't the dumbest kid in chemistry class wear a dunce cap?
A. 'Cause he's wearing a silly cone.

Q. Why couldn't the blonde guy get into his hat closet?
A. 'Cause of Caps Lock.

Q. Why did the investment banker always wear a hat?
A. 'Cause he was a true capitalist.

Q. Which big cat likes to wear a dapper hat when strolling through the grasslands?
A. A dandy lion.

Q. What time is it when a wild turkey sits on your hat?
A. Time to get a new hat.

Q. What does a cactus wear to a big business meeting?
A. A fedora and a cac-tie.

Q. What was the Cat In the Hat doing on the toilet?
A. Thing one and thing two.

Q. Why do baseball players wear fabric caps?
A. Because football helmets are not aerodynamic.

Q. Why was the laptop wearing a hat while it was in sleep mode?
A. 'Cause of Caps Lock.

Q. In which semi-arid region do the most people wear hats?
A. Cappadocia, Turkey.

Q. Why was the space alien wearing a velostat hat?
A. To protect himself from idiot Earthling mind control.

Q. What do penguins wear on their heads?
A. South Polar ice caps.

Q. Which kind of can wears a festive Santa hat at Christmas time?
A. A Merry Can!

Q. Which kind of hats do craft beers wear?
A. Bottle caps.

Q. Where do toads and frogs hang their hats and coats?
A. In the croak-room.

Q. Why did the old nun still wear the same hat to church since 1961?
A. It was just a dirty habit.

Fashionable Point to Ponder: If you're wearing a corduroy shirt, a corduroy tie, and corduroy pants, do you need a corduroy hat to be a complete Roy?

Q. What does a car's fuel tank wear when it's cold outside?
A. A gas cap.

Q. Which game did the millinery designer play as a child?
A. Caps 'N Robbers.

Q. What is considered the beacon for North Carolina headwear designers?
A. Cape Hatteras Lighthouse.

Q. Why do pirates put off shopping for a new hat?
A. They prefer to avoid cap-sizing.

Q. Why did the dumb pirate get a headache from wearing a dunce cap?
A. 'Cause he was a numb scull.

Q. How do you make a fitting hat out of a boat?
A. You flip it over, and voila! It's cap-sized.

Q. What did the tie say to the hat?
A. You go on a head, and I'll just hang around.

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