Q. Why doesn't Superman have may friends? A. Because he wears his underwear over his pants!   PainfulPuns.com - Groaner Puns, Painful Jokes, Funny Ouch!

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Captain Kirk Says: Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes!
Tried to buy camouflage pants, but I just couldn't find any
Ape says: I bought a pair of hiking boots in Colorado from a drug dealer! I'm not sure what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day!
Q. What do snowmen wear on their heads? A. Ice Caps!
Q. What do you get if you poop in your jeans? A. Dungarees!
Spock Says: Live long and prosper, and don't wear a red shirt!
Q. What did the locksmith do to promote his business? A. He wore kha-key pants!


High Fashion Jokes, Clothes Puns, Style Humor
Preview haute couture humor, high style clothing jokes, fashion LOLS and well-dressed puns.

Haute Humor, Fashionable Puns, Clothing Jokes
(Because High Fashion Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream in Paris, or Milan, or on Top of Pikes Peak!)
Warning: Hit the Runway with Caution! Glamour jokes, wild fashion humor, model LOLs and en vogue puns head.
| Fashion Jokes and Clothing Puns | 2 | 3 | Colorado Fashion Jokes | Shoe Jokes, Sole-ful Puns |
| Underwear Jokes, Ample Bra Puns, and Brief Laughs | Eyeglasses Jokes | Furniture Jokes |
| Bad Hair Jokes and Barber Puns | 2 | Blonde Jokes | 2 | Hipster Jokes | Hipster Hookup Lines |

Q. Why did a woman yeall "head for the heels" at her favorite shoe store? A. Because she loved elevating footware!Q. What did the fashion police say to his sweater? A. Do you know why I pulled you over?Did you hear about the grand opening of the new shoe store? TV news crews got a lot of footage!

Q. What is your underwear's favorite shoe style?
A. The wedge.

Q. What happened when the Dutch started making wooden shoes again?
A. All the stores were clogged!

Q. What did the hat say to the shoe?
A. I'll go on a head, you just pace yourself.

Q. What is it called when a clothing designer talks to reporters about her new fall line?
A. Fashion statements.

Q. What do you call designer fashions that are so ridiculous that people openly chuckle at them?
A. Apparel of laughs.

Q. What do you call well-dressed cops?
A. The Fashion Police.

Q. What do well-dressed police wear while taking fingerprints?
A. A dust jacket.

Q. What is the proper attire for picking up a series of clues?
A. A trail blazer.

Q. What's the proper undercover attire for detaining a redneck perp?
A. A holding tank.

Q. What attire do plainclothes cops wear while shadowing a suspect?
A. A follow suit.

Foot Fashion Fact of the Day: Many shoe puns are are barely funny and other shoe jokes are just sandal-ous!

Fashion Point to Ponder: Why are people in the fashion industry so clothes minded?

Q. Why was the fashion model so busy and successful?
A. Because she was willing to work any time and any wear!

Q. Why are gay men always so well-dressed?
A. They didn't spend all that time in the closet for nothing.

Q. What do you call pigs dressed as dinosaurs?
A. Jurrasic Pork.

Q. How are the most successful male models paid? A. Handsomely!Q. What do you have to do before getting into a designer dress? A. Get a foot in the Dior!Q. Why did the fashion designer retire at the top of his career? A. Because he wanted to go out in style!

Q. What do you call a going out of business sale at an apparel boutique?
A. A clothes-out sale!

Fascinating Fashion Point to Ponder: Why is it so hard to find clean underwear jokes?

Q. Why do fashion models always smile during thunder storms?
A. Because they think they're having their pictures taken.

Q. What was the pencil's job at the fashion show?
A. A role model.

Q. What do you call it if you get mad when you put clothes in your closet?
A. Hanger Management.

Q. How did the argument about wrinkled clothing end up?
A. It ironed itself out.

Q. What do you call a business jacket that's on fire?
A. A blazer.

Q. Who wrote the definitive book about ballerina fashion?
A. Leo Tard. But his little dog, Tutu, helped.

Q. Why is it so hard to tell a lot of fresh sewing jokes?
A. You keep running out of material.

Q. Who made clothing for prehistoric animals?
A. The dino-sewer.

Fashion Point to Ponder: Do sheep get static cling when they rub against each other?

Q. How was the fashion designer's girlfriend like an incompetent tailor?
A. She didn't suit him.

Q. What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach? A. A Pything!Q. What's the name of th Star Wars film where perfume bottles invade and wreak havoc? A. Attack of the Colognes!Batman asks: What does Batgirl wear to bed? A. Her Dark Knight Gown!

Q. Why was the two-piece swimsuit invented?
A. To separate the dairy from the hairy.

Q. Why do pirates like seeing thongs when they visit the beach?
A. Because it's all about the booty.

Q. What did the boob say to the bikini?
A. You're my breast friend!

Q. What kind of underwear do math teachers wear?
A. Alge-bras.

Q. What kind of coat does an underwater undercover octopus wear?
A. An Army Jacket!

Q. What was the new guy's job title at the men's cologne counter?
A. Front and Scenter.

Q. What did the new guy at the men's cologne counter say about his new gig?
A. This job really stinks!

Q. What's the name of the new men's antiperspirant deodorant line inspired by race car drivers?
A. Pit Stop!

Stinking Funny Point to Ponder: When taking a test to become a perfume shop's cologne sniffer, does smelling count?

Q. What size shirt does a psychic wear?
A. Medium.

Q. What do you call it when somebody trips over a bra?
A. A booby trap!

Q. How do you describe the tailor who specializes in superhero costumes?
A. Very cape-able.

Q. What do you call Iron Man without any clothes?
A. Stark naked.

Q. How did the argument about wrinkled clothing end up?
A. It ironed itself out.

Fashion Pick-Up Line: Hey Babe, that dress would look great draped over my bed.

Bear says: You might be from Colorado if you always dress in lairs!Q. What is a Zebra? A. 25 Sizes Larger Than an A Bra!Q. If a crocodile makes shoes, what does a banana make? A. Slippers!

Q. What color socks do bruins wear?
A. They don't wear socks – they go bear footed.

Q. What did the shoes say to the pants?
A. Sup, Britches?

I went shopping to find camouflage pants, but unfortunately, I simply couldn't find any.

Q. What does a tailor do when a guy says his pants are too long?
A. He cuts him some slacks.

Q. What does a rain cloud wear during a lightning storm?
A. Thunder-wear.

Q. How do you catch a bra?
A. Set up a boobie trap!

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Ouch!

Q. If a bra is called an over the shoulder boulder holder, what do you call men's underwear?
A. Under the butt nut hut!

Q. What did the bra say to the hat?
A. You go on a head, while I give these two a lift.

Cup-Size Point to Ponder: Starbucks or Victoria's Secret? Which charges more per cup?

Q. What's the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed guy on a bike?
A. A tire!

Q. Why did the Pilgrims' pants always fall down?
A. Because they wore their buckles on their hats and shoes.

Fashion Pick-Up Line: Did you get those pants on sale? 'Cause they're 100% off at my place.

Q. What do you call somebody who composes songs about sewing machines?
A. A Singer songwriter!

I used to be a tailor, but I found the work to be so-so.Happy Purse Day!A guy walks into a psychiatrist office wearing only plastic wrap shorts. Shrink says: "Well, I can clearly see your nuts."

Q. What happened when the best tailor in town passed away?
A. He was given a fitting eulogy.

Q. What do you call it when two tailors have a fist fight?
A. A serious altercation!

Q. What happened after one office worker began wearing professional business attire to work?
A. Everybody else followed suit.

Q. Who should you hire if you need some clothing altered?
A. Anita Tailor.

Q. What did the tailor say after his client fired him?
A. Okay, suit yourself.

Q. Why didn't the guy recommend his tailor?
A. Because he didn't suit him well.

Q. What's the best pattern for a banker's neck tie?
A. Checks.

Shoe Salesman Wisdom: Never tell a woman she can't purse-shoe her dreams!

Q. Why did the blonde like the clothing boutique right below her apartment?
A. 'Cause it was clothes to home. Duh!

Q. Why did the blonde go outdoors with her purse open?
A. Because they predicted change in the weather.

Q. What do you call it when a jeweler has a few too many finger creations left?
A. A three-ring surplus!

Q. Do old jewelry designers ever die?
A. No, but they do lose their shine.

Q. Who wrote the snooty fashion article about the nicest clothes?
A. Phan C. Pantz.

An investment banker used all of a guy's money to buy a leather jacket and a motorcycle. When the guy asked for it back, the banker told him to sit on it. Sounds like he's running a Fonzi scheme!

Funny Fashion Factoid: The best underwear jokes are brief!

Q. Why don't race horses wear underwear?
A. Because it rides up on them.

Q. What do you call a collection of old underwear?
A. A brief history.

Q. Which type of underwear do Frisbee players wear?
A. Disc Jockeys.

Q. Which type of underwear do vampire actors wear?
A. Movie Shorts.

Q. How can you spot a Redneck Jedi?
A. He's wearing a camouflage print robe.

Sadistic old shoe designers never die, they just lose their souls.

Q. Why was the psychiatrist so happy to receive a wicker attache?
A. 'Cause he always wanted a basket case.

| Fashion Jokes and Clothing Puns | 2 | 3 | Colorado Fashion Jokes | Shoe Jokes, Sole-ful Puns |
| Underwear Jokes, Ample Bra Puns, and Brief Laughs | Eyeglasses Jokes | Furniture Jokes |
| Bad Hair Jokes and Barber Puns | 2 | Blonde Jokes | 2 | Hipster Jokes | Hipster Hookup Lines |
| Psychic Puns | OMG! Religion Jokes | Travel Jokes | Time Travel Jokes | Timely Puns to Watch |
| Daily Groans | Light Bulb Jokes | Pirate Puns | Arr! | Pirate Hookup Lines | Cross the Road Jokes |
| Police Puns | Lawyer Jokes | Criminal Jokes | Money Puns | Cents-Less Jokes | Sax and Violins |
| Painful Groaner Jokes | Cemetery Jokes | Constipated Puns | Home Repair Puns | Weather Puns |

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You've styled along this far, so here's even more high-fad fashion humor,
jokes, and brief painful puns to dress you from hat to toe:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Actor Jokes | Artist Puns | Bigfoot Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Dieting Humor | Doctor Jokes | Drunk Puns |
| Gym Jokes | Hump Day Humor | Magic Jokes | Musician Jokes | Pizza Puns | Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Humor |
| Social Media Jokes | Sports Jokes | Superhero Puns | Turdy Puns | Weed Jokes | Witch Jokes | Wine Jokes |

Bartender Puns, Bar Humor Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns Sharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-Ons
Monstrously Funny Puns Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes! Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

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