| Q.
On which day of the week do hipsters launch their newest
trends?
A. Weirds Day.
Q.
How do you drown a hipster?
A. Take him river rafting in a main stream!
Q.
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
A. He sipped a hot toddy before it was cool. (FYI: It's
still not cool.)
Q.
How do you get a hipster to eat a hot dog?
A. Put it in a man bun.
Hep
Pick-Up Line that's ahead of
its time: Babe, I ain't no hipster, but I could make your
hips stir...
Q.
Who was the most famous hipster of all time, and did he
ever change a light bulb?
A. Who knows? Just some guy we've never even heard of!
Q.
Where do hipster mice live?
A. In a mouse pad.
Q.
How do you absolutely smother a hipster?
A. Standard him.
Q.
How did the hipster tourist burn his tongue at Denver's
Club 404?
A. He ate a green burrito before it was cool.
Q.
Why do hipsters really dig carrots?
A. Because they're underground.
Q.
Where won't you find hipster lobsters?
A. In the Maine stream.
Hipster
Beatnik Point to Ponder: If hipsters don't believe in labels,
how do they refer to themselves collectively?
Q.
What happened when a blonde hipster who wore a jacket in
Grand Junction, Colorado during summer, before it was cool?
A. EMTs took her to the ER due to heat exhaustion.
Hipster
Joke Pick-Up Line: Hey
Toots, I was in love with you before your ex was!
Q.
How do we know Mr. Spock was the original future hipster?
A. After the spores on Omicron Ceti III activated his emotions,
Jill Ireland asked if he had another name. Mr. Spock replied:
"Yes, but you could not pronounce it."
Did
you hear about the blonde hipster in Colorado who wore shorts
and sandals in September, before it was cool?
Q.
What happens when a hipster attends your Thanksgiving dinner?
A. He'll eat the leftovers before they're cool. |
Q.
Why is it so hard to find a hipster dog's bone?
A. Because it buried so far underground.
Hep
Fact of the Day: Today's hipsters aren't what they used
to be.
Q.
How do you describe a hipster octopus?
A. Tenta-cool.
Q.
Do old hipsters ever die?
A. If they did, you would never have heard about it.
Q.
How many hipsters does it take to flush a toilet?
A. What? You can't touch that toilet! It's art, man!
Q.
Why did the hipster leave his riverside retreat?
A. Because it was too current.
Q.
Why do hipsters only use the microwave?
A. Because they don't like conventional ovens!
Hipster
Point to Ponder: Are retro hipster puns passe, or are they
cool again?
Q.
If a hipster trips and falls in the Evergreen, Colorado
forest, does he make a sound?
A. Yes, but you won't likely hear of it.
Hipster
Joke Pick-Up Line: Hey
girl, are you from the area? 'Cause I only date locally-sourced
babes.
Q.
What's the most popular music genre of old hipsters?
A. Hip Pop.
Q.
What was the hipster doing in his computer?
A. Going through the recycle bin for something retro.
Q.
Which music videos did hipster locksmiths enjoy in the 60s?
A. The Monkees!
Q.
How did the blonde hipster drown?
A. She ice skated on Evergreen Lake before it was cool.
Q.
What do Coloradans call a hipster in Central City who plays
blackjack well?
A. Chipster.
Q.
How do you know you're a time-travel hipster Star Trek fanatic?
A. You want to see Deep Space Nine reruns on BBC America,
and that has not even happened yet... (Hipster Update: DS9
begins January 20, 2020. Thank you, hipsters!)
Hip
Hep Hipster Point to Ponder: Are there any medium rappers,
or just Big and 'Lil?
|
Q.
Which profession are hipsters well-suited for?
A. Mortician. Because all their work points six feet under
ground.
Q.
Why did cavemen have to move out of caves and into stone
buildings?
A. 'Cause underground hipsters were there first.
Q.
What killed the old hipster?
A. He drowned in the mainstream.
Q.
Why is a deaf hipster the best?
A. Because he likes bands he's never even heard of!
Q.
Why did the hipster abandon his Augusta lighthouse?
A. It was too Maine.
Hipster
Point to Ponder: Which came first, the hipster or the mainstream?
Hipster
Point to Ponder: Are retro hipster puns passe, or are they
cool again?
Q.
What kind of music do hipster mail carrier listen to?
A. Post-Modern Rock.
Q.
What does every hipster hep cat know?
A. Four eyes are better than two.
No,
I'm not a hipster. I wear glasses because I actually need
them.
Q.
If a hipster walks into the bar, does he make a sound?
A. Yes, but you've never heard of that pub.
Hip
Hep Hipster Point to Ponder: If two vegan rappers dis each
other, can you still call that a beef?
Q.
Why do some hipsters have so much money?
A. Because they bought Bitcoin before it was cool.
Q.
Why did the hipster tube down the High Line Canal south
of Denver?
A. Because the South Platte River was too mainstream.
Time
Travel Point to Ponder: Are/were hipsters actually time
travelers?
Q.
Who were the London hipsters of the 1960s?
A. Mods.
Q.
Why do hipsters dig old gold mines in Central City, Colorado?
A. Because they're so far underground!
Q.
Why is this PainfulPuns'
last hipster joke?
A. Any more hipster jokes, and this page would just be too
mainstream! |
