Q. Who is a pickle's favorite artist? A. Salvador Dilly!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Q. How many art directors does it take to change a light bulb? A. Does it have to be a light bulb?
Q. What is red and smells like blue paint? A. Red paint!
Q. What do you call it when you're photographed with a digital camera? A. Being shot from a canon!
Q. What do you call a painting of moonshine equipment? A. A still life!

Q. What did the painter say to the wall? A. One more crack, and I'll plaster you!


Fine Art Jokes, Illustrated Puns, Van Gogh Humor
Brush up on sketchy humor, critical art puns, colorful comedy and creative arts jokes.

Artist Jokes, Drawn Out Humor, Artistic Puns
(Because Colorful Humor and Artistic Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream for Painters or Illustrators!)
Warning: Major in Fine Arts at Your Own Peril! Sketchy jokes, brush humor, and surreal puns ahead.
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Q. What did the painter say to his lover on Valentine's Day? A. I love you with all my art!Q. Why did the vampire consider hiself a good artist? A. He like to draw blood!Did you hear about the artist who hadn't painted for years? He took a class to brush up!

Q. What is it called if you're instantly enamoured by a famous French art museum?
A. Louvre at first sight.

Q. What does OMG mean to an artist?
A. Oh My Gouache!

Q. Why shouldn't you trust an artist?
A. Because they're shady, sketchy, and they're likely to frame you.

Q. Which relative of Vincent Van Gogh is a really hot ballroom dancer?
A. Tan Gogh.

Q. What happened when two artists had a contest?
A. It ended in a draw.

Did you hear about the guy who was accused of stealing all those paintings? He tried to brush it of and he claims he was framed.

Q. How are the cardiovascular system and a pretentious painter alike?
A. Both are a work of artery and vein.

Tacky Art Point to Ponder: Does a tattoo artist have designs on his clients?

Q. How did the abstract artist learn to paint?
A. He was given a paint by irrational numbers set as a child.

Q. Why was the paintbrush rushed to the hospital?
A. Because it had a stroke.

Q. Why did the portrait artist make extra money as a census taker?
A. Because he was very good at canvassing people.

Q. How does an artist fill in his resume?
A. He draws on experience.

Q. Why shouln't you write with a broken pencil? A. It's Pointless!Q. How many durrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A. Fish!Q. How many visitors to an art gallery does it take to change a light bulb? A. Two. One to do it and one to say: "Oh, my 4-year-old could have done that!"

Q. What did the artist draw right before he went to bed?
A. The curtains.

Q. Why do famous artists know when the piece is done and it's time to stop?
A. They know when to draw the line.

Q. If Van Gogh wrote an autobiography, what would he title it?
A. The Starry of My Night Life.

Artist Pick-Up Line: Wow girl, weren't you the nude model in my life drawing class last week?

Q. What do you call a painting done by your cat?
A. A Paw-trait.

Q. Why did the dumb blonde museum robbery fail?
A. They ran out of gas because they didn't have the Monet to buy Degas to make their Van Gogh.

Q. Which dizzy aunt was Vincent Van Gogh's favorite?
A. Verti Gogh.

Artist Pick-Up Line: Girl, how about you Vincent Van Gogh out with me?

Q. How many artists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Six. One to change it and five to reassure him that it looks good.

Q. Which lesser-known Leonardo da Vinci painting is always complaining?
A. The Moaner Lisa.

Q. What did the Rococo artisians say?
A. If it ain't Baroque, don't fix it.

Q. Which relative of Vincent Van Gogh was studied by Sigmund Freud?
A. E. Gogh.

Q. What is a pirate's best subject in school? A. Arrrt!Q. Where do crayons go on vacation? A. Colorful Color-ado!Q. What happened when the pig pen broke? A. They switched to a pencil!

Q. What did the sculptor say when he finally finished his bas carving?
A. Ah, what a relief!

Q. Who is the head guy at the unemployment office?
A. Art Majors.

Q. What does a pirate steal when he's on shore leave?
A. Arrrt!

Q. Which distant relative of Vincent Van Gogh now lives in Mexico?
A. Amie Gogh.

Q. Do old candle makers ever die?
A. No, but they do lose their glow.

Old sculptors never die, but they do sometimes lose their marbles.

Creative Point to Ponder: Are artists colorful people who draw on their emotions?

Q. Why do we paint Easter eggs?
A. Because it's easier than wallpapering them.

Q. Which relative of Vincent Van Gogh drove a stagecoach on the American frontier?
A. Wells Far Gogh.

Q. Which relative of Vincent Van Gogh suffers from ADHD?
A. Giddyup N. Gogh.

Q. What does the crafter say when she sees something really cute and wants to embellish it?
A. How adorn-able!

Q. How did the old sculpture die?
A. It got busted.

Q. What does an artist illustrator call his home?
A. A sketch pad.

Q. Which farm animal is also a famous painter?
A. Pablo Pig-casso.

Fine Art Point to Ponder: If a 3-D artist has a messy house, is that a work in progress?

Q. Which farm animal became a famous artist?
A. Vincent Van Goat.

Q. What's it called when you're sketching somebody taking a breath?
A. Drawing inspiration.

Artist Pick-Up Line: Babe, you must be an artist because I find myself drawn to you.

Q. Where do pencils go on vacation? A. Pencil-vania!You may choose the wallet size or the portrait. Take your pic!Stoner Wolf Says: Welcome to Colorful Colorado! Hey, GREEN is a color, too!

Q. Which relative of Vincent Van Gogh really liked prunes?
A. Gotta Gogh.

Q. Which relative of Vincent Van Gogh was always constipated?
A. Kant Gogh. (Too bad he didn't like prunes!)

Q. Which relative of Vincent Van Gogh is a Cessna pilot in training?
A. Touch N. Gogh.

Q. Which relative of Vincent Van Gogh regularly takes road trips in Colorado?
A. Winnie Bay Gogh.

Q. Do old gem cutters ever die?
A. No, but they do lose their sparkle.

Old gemologists never die, they just lose clarity.

Q. Do shiny old gem cutters ever die?
A. No, but they do lose their luster.

Q. How do you describe a particularly nice statue displayed in a mansion's garden?
A. Marble-ous.

Flamboyant Artist Pick-Up Line: Baby, artists do it with flair.

Fine Art Point to Ponder: If you photograph your pimples, is zit art?

Old photographers never die! They just go to the old focus home.

Fine Art Point to Ponder: When the critic said the painting was terrible, did the painter get the picture?

Q. Who creates garden statues of the heads of famous dead people?
A. Ghost busters.

Q. How do Japanese artists bid farewell?
A. Cyan-nara!

Old photographers never die. They just stop developing.

Q. What media do artistic whales use for their masterpieces?
A. A-krill-ic paint.

Q. Why did the bald guy paint rabbits on his head?
A. Because from a distance, they looked like hares.

Q. Who wrote the book, Diary Of Some Starving Artist?
A. Alene Paynter.

Q. Why did the old fine art painter die?
A. Too many strokes.

Q. Why should you encourage your child to become an artist?
A. Because they'll never have enough money for drugs.

Q. What does an artisan call the macrame school he attended?
A. His alma knotter.

Q. Why did the tatooed man get another tat of an octopus?
A. 'Cause he was really into ink.

Q. Why did the origami artist moonlight as an office temp?
A. Because she was good at paperwork.

Q. What caused the death of the old origami artist?
A. He just folded up into oblivion.

Artist Pick-Up Line: Hey beautiful, if I was an art critic, I'd give you a ravishing review.

Q. What is a Liberal Arts major's favorite board game?
A. Trivial Pursuit.

| Fine Art Puns and Artist Jokes | 2 | Hipster Jokes | Arty Hipster Pick-Up Lines | Vampire Arts |
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