What is the latest crime wave in NYC?
A. Drive-by trombone solos.
What is another term for trombone?
A. A wind driven, manually operated, pitch approximator.
Why do trombonists always have the best sex?
A. 'Cause they always get two holes in seven positions.
Why is jazz the music genre most often used to set the
A. 'Cause it's so horny.
Pick-Up Line: Oh baby,
you've giving me a real tromboner!
a Trombonist Line: Hey big guy, wanna grease my slide?
Why did the humble trumpet player always borrow other musician's
A. Because he didn't like blowing his own horn.
Why shouldn't you teach your dog how to play the trumpet?
A. Because he'll go from barking to tooting, and who needs
the trumpet is a lot like throwing a javelin blindfolded.
You don't have to be very good to get a lot of people's
How are beginner trumpet players like pirates?
A. They're both murder on the high Cs.
Hookup Line: Hey girl,
you sound a bit flat. So, should I push in, or pull out?
How can you tell which kid on the playground is the trombonist's
A. He knows how to work the slide and really swings!
Which brass instruments sound a little like Tom Jones?
What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
A. A trombone.
What can a musician do with a rubber trumpet?
A. Join an elastic band!
If everybody around you is wild about big band music, where
do you live?
A. In a swing state.