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Cow Chef Asks: What kind of music do chefs like to listen to? Wok N Roll!
Which music genre appeals to cheese? R 'N Brie
Did you hear about the guy who fell asleep with his headphones on? He slept soundly!
Music Pun: I break into song because I can't find the key.
Q. Why did a woodwind player go fishing? A. He wanted to catch a bass soon!


Instrument Jokes, Tuned Up Puns, Vocalist Humor
Hum along with constipated composer puns, funny musician jokes, and off-pitch singer humor.

Music Jokes, Singer Humor, Instrumental Puns
(Because Cheesy Vocals and Teen Idol Singers Are TOO Mainstream When All You Want Is to Hear a Good Tune!)
Warning: Listen at Your Own Peril! Note, hack singers and cheesy vocalists often confuse Vibrato with Bravado.
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Q. Why did the singer climb up a ladder? A. She wanted to reach teh high notes!Did you hear about the constipated composer? He had problems with his last movement!Q. What song do you sing if you've run out of bananas? A. What else but peelings!

Q. What do you call a female opera singer who had quite a range at the lower end of the scale?
A. A Deep C Diva!

Q. Why are singers so curious?
A. Because they are in-choir-ing.

Q. What do you call a large, sudsy soprano in a bathtub?
A. A soap opera.

Q. How does a newspaper go about reviewing aria performances?
A. They follow standard opera-rating practices.

Q. What did the depressed composer tell his proctologist?
A. He'd been feeling rather down in the dumps.

Q. Why can't divas have a colonostomy?
A. Because they can't find shoes to match the bag.

Q. What is born skinless, flies wingless, and sings until it dies?
A. A fart.

Q. What is brown and sits on a piano bench?
A. Beethoven's last movement.

Q. What is a frightened frozen banana's favorite song?
A. Yellow by Cold Play.

Q. What is a cool Caribbean banana's favorite song?
A. Day-O (The Banana Boat Song) by Harry Belafonte.

Q. What is a chillin' banana's favorite song?
A. Mellow Yellow by Donovan!

Q. Why did the chef add chickpeas to the culinary choir?
A. To hummus a song.

Q. What is Spider-Man's favorite band? A. The Spinners!Q. What's the difference between a tub and a vacuum cleaner? A. You have to turn a vacuum on before it sucks!Q. Who is Electro's favorite singer? Frank Zappa!

Q. Which rockin' song does Spider-Man usually spin to?
A. Spiderman by The Ramones.

Q. Which tune does Peter Parker find amazing?
A. Spider-Man Science by Daniel Pemberton.

Q. What diddy does Peter Parker blast when he's driving through New York City?
A. Spiderman Rap by Daddyphatsnaps.

Q. How do you fix a broken tuba?
A. With a tuba glue.

Q. Why was the kid who wanted to play heavy metal mad at his father?
A. 'Cause his dad bought him a tuba.

Q. What is the range of a tuba?
A. Twenty feet, if you've got a good arm.

Q. What is a tuba for?
A. 1 1/2" x 3 1/2". OUCH!

Q. Which superhero won the singing competition?
A. Captain American Idol!

Q. Which David Bowie song is the favorite of caped crusaders?
A. Heroes.

Q. Which song played on the Batmobile radio in 1968?
A. Johnny Thunder by The Kinks.

Q. Why do some people play trombones? A. Because they can't move their fingers and read music at the same time!Q. How many vocalists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. None. They hold the bulb over their head and the world revolves around them!Q. How do yu keep your violin from being stolen? A. Put it in a viola case!

Q. How do you get a trombone to sound like a French horn?
A. Stick your hand into the bell and mess up all the notes.

Q. What is the dynamic range of bass trombone?
A. On or Off.

Q. Which musical instrument does a skeleton play in the band?
A. The trombone.

Q. Why are brass players so good in bed?
A. Because they know how to tongue, finger, and blow.

Jazzed Up Come-On Line: Hey babe, do you believe in pre-marital sax?

Q. Why do birds sing every morning?
A. 'Cause they don't have to commute to work!

Q. How was the tenor frog's performance at the opera house?
A. Absolutely ribbeting.

Q. What's the difference between a dressmaker and a soprano?
A. The dressmaker tucks the frills.

Q. What do you call a classical singer's big break?
A. An opera-tunity.

Q. Why is concert album a confusing music term for blondes?
A. Because it's recorded live.

Q. What is the difference between a fiddle and a violin?
A. A fiddle is fun to listen to.

String Player's Motto: It's better to be sharp than out of tune.

Q. Why did Karl Marx detest classical music?
A. Because of the violins inherent to the system.

Q. What happened after the classical violinist bought a Stradivari?
A. He was quite Baroque.

Q. Why did the female cellist stay first chair so long?
A. Because she kept her scherzo short.

Q. What's the definition of perfect pitch? A. When you toss a banjo into the trash and it hits an accordian!Q. What's the difference between a terrorist and an accordian player? A. Terrorists have sympathizers!Q. Which musician writes songs about a country in the Himalayas? A. Nepal Simon!

Q. How are a banjo player and a blind horseshoe player alike?
A. Both command immediate attention and alarm, and force everyone to run out of range.

Q. What does an orchestra need to play electrifying music?
A. A good conductor.

Q. What is Vibrato?
A. A technique used by singers to hide the fact that they are on the wrong pitch.

Q. Why do rappers hate President Trump?
A. 'Cause nothing rhymes with orange.

Q. What is an accordian good for?
A. Learning how to fold a map.

Q. How were the accordianist's fingers like lightning?
A. They rarely strike in the same place twice!

Keyed Up Point to Ponder: Is an accordian just a bagpipe with pleats?

Q. What happened when the guy left his accordian in his car with all the windows down?
A. When he went back to his car, he was surprised to see a second accordian in the back seat, too.

Q. How much talent did Cream's lead guitarist have?
A. A Clap-Ton.

Q. How can you tell when a guitarist is out of tune?
A. His hands are moving.

Did you hear about the farmer who played guitar out in his cornfield? It was music to his ears.

Q. At a party, how can you figure out who is a guitar player?
A. He'll surely tell you.

| Music Jokes, Musician Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | Musician Come-Ons |
| Brassy Music Jokes | Chef Tunes and Culinary Beats | Classical Music and Composer Jokes |
| Colorado Music Jokes | Drummer Jokes | Gnome Music Humor | Guitar Jokes | Bad Rap Puns |
| Piano Jokes, Keyboard Puns | Rocking Rock 'N Roll Jokes | Rock Group Puns and Band Jokes |
| Scary Music Jokes | Sci-Fi Music Jokes | Singer, Vocalist, Song Jokes | Sax and Violins Puns |
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