What is messy and sits on a piano bench?
A. Beethoven's First Movement.
What did the depressed composer tell his proctologist?
A. He'd been feeling rather down in the dumps.
What is it called if a classical musician has to use the
toilet more than three times in one day?
A. The fourth movement.
What do you call the homeless monkey in the orchestra's
A. Oboe Bonobo Hobo.
Come-On: Hey baby, even
Beethoven couldn't compose something as moving as you.
What do Baroque musicians do if they don't like their Xmas
A. Hand them Bach.
Why didn't musicians have much money during the 17th and
A. Because that was the Baroque period.
Which ballet is the most uncomfortable for guys to sit through?
A. The Nutcracker Suite.
Up Singer: Where is my book of opera puns?
Classical Music Agent: Overture house.
Why don't some moms let their young children listen to Beethoven?
A. Because of all the violins.
Pick-Up Line: Hello baby,
even Mozart couldn't compose a movement as beautiful as
Laugh of the Day: Everybody told Beethoven he'd fail as
a musician because he was deaf. But, did he listen?
Which classical dessert comes out of a musical volcano?
A. Bach lava.
What happened when the horny conductor tried to sleep with
each member of the orchestra?
A. He only made it to second bass.
Musician Chat Up Line:
Hey baby, I C Major potential in you. x,
Pick-Up Lines Fact of the
Day: Composers always score! x,
Pick-Up Line of Note: Hey
baby, you are on my to-do Liszt tonight.