How do you know you're a cheesy singer?
A. Your urge to sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"
is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away.
What did the guy sing after his wife wailed, "What
would you do if I sang out of tune, would you stand up and
walk out on me?"
A. Evidently not.
What is another name for the first three digits in an opera
singer's phone number?
A. Aria code.
I just can't stop singing, What's New Pussycat.
Shrink: You might have TJS, Tom Jones Syndrome.
Patient: Is that rare?
Shrink: It's not unusual. s
What do you call black people who sing really well?
A. A vocal minority.
What did the guy say when his girlfriend told him to stop
talking in Oasis lyrics?
Who is large, gray, and sings great jazz songs?
A. Elephants Gerald.
What did Han Solo change his name to after marrying
A. Han Duet.
Who sang the touching sci-fi song Assimilate Me Tender?
A. Elvis of Borg.
What is an Italian chef's favorite song to sing when he's
A. O Sole Mio.
What is the chance to samply a fishy broth at a high brow
music event called?
A. An opera-tuna-ty.
What happened after the chef opened the refrigerator door
because he heard green onions singing a Bee Gees song?
A. He realized it was just chives talking.
Why is everybody singing about the new Indian restaurant?
A. On Curry-oke Night, that shit is really hot!
What is a baker's fab fave Beatles' song?
A. Loaf is All You Knead.
Why did the guy want Yoko Ono to sing at his funeral?
A. He wants his friends to know there are worse things than
Why didn't the fisherman make it big as a rap artist?
A. His lines were okay, but his hooks were de-bait-able.
What do vocalists and some baseball players have in common?
A. Being pitch-perfect.
Which country music star was famous for giving overly dramatic
A. Hammy Wynette.
Which singer is noted for always butting into everybody's
A. Bette Meddler.
Laugh of the Day: I thought my wife was kidding when she
said she'd leave me if I didn't stop singing I'm a Believer
by the Monkees. But then, I saw her face.
Why do birds sing every morning?
A. 'Cause they don't have to commute to work!
What does a Grammy winning rooster sing?
How was the tenor frog's performance at the opera house?
A. Absolutely ribbeting.
What did the guy say after his girlfriend broke up with
him for constantly singing Linkin Park songs?
A. But in the end, it doesn't even matter.
What do you call a tailor who composes music when he's not
A. A Singer song writer.
What's the difference between a skilled magician and a women's
A. The magician has a cunning array of stunts...
a Vocalist Line: Hey babe, do you have perfect pitch? 'Cause
you and I are so in tune.
What does singer Dion use when she stores her contact lenses?
A. Celine solution.
Which pop and soul superstar adores fish, especially bluefin,
yellowfin, and albacore?
A. Tuna Turner.