| This
just in for No Shave November! NoShaveBer
Listing on eBay:
"For sale. Incredible Hulk T-shirt. Usual wear and
tear."
Q.
What's the worst thing about growing a beard for No Shave
November?
A. Hipsters think you're one of them!
Q.
Why did the guy grow a beard in November?
A. To prove he wasn't a bald-faced liar.
Q.
How is a beard like true love?
A. It never ends ... It only grows!
Q.
What do you call a guy with brown hair and a red beard?
A. A Chin-ger.
Another
Beard-Vember Groan: I really mustache you a question, but
I'll shave it for later. |
Q.
What do meat-eaters call it if you serve tofu turkey on
Thanksgiving?
A. Pranksgiving.
Q.
What did the hen turkey say to her naughty kids on Thanksgiving?
A. If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his
gravy!
Q.
Why did the cranberries turn red on Thanksgiving?
A. Because they saw the turkey dressing.
Yes,
I know you want me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but
I just can't stop cold turkey!
Oops!
Sometimes Black Friday shoppers tackle better than the home
team did on Thanksgiving.
Here's
hoping Black Friday doesn't turn into Black 'N Blue Saturday.
|
Q.
How is Christmas just like your job?
A. You do all the work, and the fat guy in the suit takes
all the credit!
Q.
What do you call the wrapping paper after opening gifts?
A. Christmess!
Q.
Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas eve?
A. Because it soots him.
Santa
and his wife wanted to split up, but there are no divorce
lawyers at the North Pole. So, they got a semicolon instead;
they're great for separating independent Clauses.
Q.
What is a zombie's favorite holiday beverage?
A. Egg noggin.
Did
you hear about the crook who stole an Advent calendar? He
got 25 days. |
