I tried wrapping Christmas presents, but I didn't have the gift.   PainfulPuns.com - Holiday Puns, Silly Seasonal Jokes, Happy Days

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Q. What do you call a scary reindeer? A. A Cari-Boo!
Q. Which Christmas carol is popular in the desert? A. Camel Ye Faithful!


Festive Christmas Humor, Elf Jokes, Noel Puns
Get the holiday spirit with festive Xmas humor, polarizing puns, and North Pole pick up lines.

Xmas Jokes, Holiday Puns, North Pole Humor
(Because Garish Christmas Decorations and Blinking Lights Are TOO Mainstream and NOT At All Funny!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Risk! Bright Christmas humor, highly decorated jokes, and North Pole puns ahead.
| Nice Christmas Jokes and Merry Naughty Xmas Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
| Santa Claus Jokes | 2 | Elf 'n Funny Puns | Christmas Animal Jokes | Holiday Reindeer Puns |
| Christmas Music Jokes | Xmas Come-Ons | 2 | Christmas Food Puns | Winter Holiday Jokes |
| Snow Jokes | Snowman Jokes | Winter Humor | 2 | 3 | Winter Hookup Lines | Skiing Jokes |

Q. How did Scrooge's team win the football game? A. The ghost of Christmas Passed!Q. What's the difference between the Xmas aphabet and teh regular alphabet? A. Christmas alphabet has Noel!Q. What do you call a frog hanging from the ceiling? A. Mistle-Toad!

Q. How does Christmas Day end?
A. With a Y.

Q. Why did the holiday choir have to cancel their Christmas Eve performance?
A. They came down with tinsel-itis!

Xmas Pick-Up Line: Babe, can I take your pic so I can show Santa exactly what I want for Christmas?

It's raining cats and dogs right now, but that's okay as long as it doesn't reindeer on Xmas.

Q. What did the discount store sell at the after Christmas sale?
A. Unique gifts for hard-to-find people.

Q. Who is a Christmas tree's favorite singer?
A. Spruce Springsteen.

Did you hear about the race between Rudolph and another reindeer? Rudolph won by a nose!What do you get if you cross a bullet with a leafless tree? A Cartridge In A Bare TreeQ. What do you call Santa if he also lives at the South Pole? A. Bi-Polar!

Q. What do reindeer use to decorate their Christmas trees?
A. Horn-aments.

X-X-Xmas Pick-Up Line: Believe Rudolph, if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows.

Q. What did the beaver say to the Christmas tree?
A. Nice Gnawing You!

Q. What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree and an apple?
A. A pineapple.

Q. What do you call a bratty punk who doesn't believe in Santa?
A. A rebel without a Claus.

Christmas Pick-Up Line: Oh Baby, I've double-checked my naughty list, and yes, you are there!

Why did Santa have to see the doctor? A. Because of his bad elf!Q. What do you call Santa Claus with muscles? A. Mr. Xmass!Q. What kind of pizza do you order on Christmas? A. Cheeses Crust!

Q. What do you call an Xmas elf that likes hip hop and speaks to the beat?
A. Wrapper.

Xmas Pick-Up Line: Hey Baby, the Christmas stockings are hung, and so am I.

Q. Why didn't Santa launch his sleigh from the North Pole on time?
A. There were small elf and safety concerns.

Christmas Pick-Up Line: Let's just forget about the nice and naughty lists, and focus on that To-Do list now!

Q. What do trainees learn at Santa's Helper School?
A. The elf-a-bet.

Christmas Pick-Up Line: Hey, did you ask Santa for a unicorn this year? 'Cause you look like you'd appreciate a little horny.

Q. Where might you find chili beans? A. At the North Pole!Q. What do you learn at Santa's helper school? A. The Elf-a-bet!Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south!

Q. Why does Santa dislike painful North Pole puns?
Because it's snow laughing matter!

Q. How can a snowman tell when his lady is mad at him?
A. She only gives him the cold shoulder.

Q. Why was Santa's little helper so depressed over the holidays?
A. Because he had low elf esteem.

North Pole Polar Bear Pick-Up Line: It's so cold outside that I'd like to hiber-mate with you!

North Pole Pick-Up Line: Babe, whenever I'm around you, I feel like I'm in a Winter Wonder Land.

North Pole Snowman Pick-Up Line: Hi Babe, ice to meet you!

| Nice Christmas Jokes, Naughty Xmas Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | Xmas Food |
| Santa Claus Jokes | 2 | Elf Puns | Christmas Animals | 2 | 3 | Reindeer Puns | Skiing Jokes |
| Christmas Music Jokes | Xmas Come-Ons | 2 | Weather Jokes | Colorado Weather Humor |
| Winter Holidays | Winter Humor | 2 | 3 | Snow Jokes | Snowman Jokes | Winter Hookup Lines |
| Holiday Party Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Happy Birthday Party Humor | Gnome Holiday Party Jokes |
| Valentine's Day Jokes | VD Pick-Up Lines | St. Patrick's Day Jokes | Spring Holidays Jokes |
| Summer Holiday Jokes | Fall Puns | Halloween Jokes | Halloween Treats | Spooky Come-Ons |
| Thanksgiving Jokes | Party Jokes, Celebration Humor, Shindig Puns | Holiday Food Jokes |
| Holiday Drnking Jokes | Party Animal Puns | Daily Jokes | Daily Pick-Up Lines | Sunday Puns |
| Monday Jokes | Tuesday | Wednesday Puns | Thursday Humor | Friday Funs | Saturday LOLs |

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You're still in the mood for merry, so here's more garish holiday humor,
festive laughs, glaring jokes, and noggy painful puns to light up your day

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