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Festive
Christmas Humor, Elf Jokes, Noel Puns
Get
the holiday spirit with festive Xmas humor, polarizing puns,
and North Pole pick up lines.
Xmas Jokes, Holiday Puns, North Pole Humor
(Because Garish Christmas Decorations
and Blinking Lights Are TOO Mainstream and NOT
At All Funny!) |
Warning:
Proceed at Your Risk! Bright Christmas humor, highly decorated jokes,
and North Pole puns ahead.
| Nice Christmas Jokes and Merry Naughty Xmas
Humor | 2 | 3
| 4 | 5 | 6
| 7 | 8 | 9
| 10 | 11 |
| Santa Claus Jokes | 2
| Elf 'n Funny Puns | Christmas
Animal Jokes | Holiday Reindeer Puns
|
| Christmas Music Jokes | Xmas
Come-Ons | 2 | Christmas
Food Puns | Winter Holiday Jokes
|
| Snow Jokes | Snowman
Jokes | Winter Humor | 2
| 3 | Winter
Hookup Lines | Skiing Jokes
|
Q.
How does Christmas Day end?
A. With a Y.
Q.
Why did the holiday choir have to cancel their Christmas
Eve performance?
A. They came down with tinsel-itis! |
Xmas
Pick-Up Line: Babe, can
I take your pic so I can show Santa exactly what I want
for Christmas?
It's
raining cats and dogs right now, but that's okay as long
as it doesn't reindeer on Xmas.
|
Q.
What did the discount store sell at the after Christmas
sale?
A. Unique gifts for hard-to-find people.
Q.
Who is a Christmas tree's favorite singer?
A. Spruce Springsteen. |
Q. What do reindeer use to decorate their Christmas trees?
A. Horn-aments.
X-X-Xmas
Pick-Up Line: Believe Rudolph,
if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows. |
Q.
What did the beaver say to the Christmas tree?
A. Nice Gnawing You!
Q.
What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree and an apple?
A. A pineapple.
|
Q.
What do you call a bratty punk who doesn't believe in Santa?
A. A rebel without a Claus.
Christmas
Pick-Up Line: Oh Baby, I've
double-checked my naughty list, and yes, you are
there! |
Q.
What do you call an Xmas elf that likes hip hop and speaks
to the beat?
A. Wrapper.
Xmas
Pick-Up Line: Hey Baby,
the Christmas stockings are hung, and so am I. |
Q.
Why didn't Santa launch his sleigh from the North Pole on
time?
A. There were small elf and safety concerns.
Christmas
Pick-Up Line: Let's just
forget about the nice and naughty lists, and focus on that
To-Do list now!
|
Q.
What do trainees learn at Santa's Helper School?
A. The elf-a-bet.
Christmas
Pick-Up Line: Hey, did you
ask Santa for a unicorn this year? 'Cause you look like
you'd appreciate a little horny. |
Q.
Why does Santa dislike painful North Pole puns?
A. Because
it's snow laughing matter!
Q.
How can a snowman tell when his lady is mad at him?
A. She only gives him the cold shoulder. |
Q.
Why was Santa's little helper so depressed over the holidays?
A. Because he had low elf esteem.
North
Pole Polar Bear Pick-Up Line:
It's so cold outside that I'd like to hiber-mate with you!
|
North
Pole Pick-Up Line: Babe,
whenever I'm around you, I feel like I'm in a Winter Wonder
Land.
North
Pole Snowman Pick-Up Line: Hi
Babe, ice to meet you! |
|
Nice Christmas Jokes, Naughty Xmas Puns
| 2 | 3 | 4
| 5 | 6 | 7
| 8 | 9 | 10
| 11 | Xmas
Food |
| Santa Claus Jokes | 2
| Elf Puns | Christmas
Animals | 2 | 3
| Reindeer Puns | Skiing
Jokes |
| Christmas Music Jokes | Xmas
Come-Ons | 2 | Weather
Jokes | Colorado Weather Humor
|
| Winter Holidays | Winter
Humor | 2 | 3
| Snow Jokes | Snowman
Jokes | Winter Hookup Lines
|
| Holiday Party Jokes | 2
| 3 | 4
| Happy Birthday Party Humor | Gnome
Holiday Party Jokes |
| Valentine's Day Jokes |
VD Pick-Up Lines | St. Patrick's
Day Jokes | Spring Holidays Jokes
|
| Summer Holiday Jokes | Fall
Puns | Halloween Jokes |
Halloween Treats | Spooky Come-Ons
|
| Thanksgiving Jokes |
Party Jokes, Celebration Humor, Shindig
Puns | Holiday Food Jokes |
| Holiday Drnking Jokes | Party
Animal Puns | Daily Jokes |
Daily Pick-Up Lines | Sunday
Puns |
| Monday Jokes | Tuesday
| Wednesday Puns | Thursday
Humor | Friday Funs | Saturday
LOLs |
You're
still in the mood for merry,
so here's more garish holiday
humor,
festive laughs, glaring
jokes, and noggy painful puns
to light up
your day:
|
More
Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...
|
Air Travel Jokes | Beer
Jokes | Bigfoot Jokes | Blonde
Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Cookie
Jokes | Drunken Puns |
| Fart Jokes | Fashion
Jokes | Football Jokes
| Hipster Humor | Money
Jokes | Monster Jokes | Music
Jokes |
| Pizza Puns | Religion
Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes | Sheepish
Puns | Sports Jokes | Superhero
Jokes | Vacation Puns |
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for stopping by and see you again soon!
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Painfulpuns.com
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