Q. What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus? A. Crisp Cringle!   PainfulPuns.com - Holiday Puns, Silly Seasonal Jokes, Happy Days

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Q. What do elves eat for breakfast? A. Frosted Flakes!
Q. What does a snowman eat? A. Icebergs with Chili Sauce!

Q. What could happen if you use the fireplace on Christmas eve? A. You Might Crisp Cringle!


Winter Holiday Food Jokes, Christmas Cocktail LOLs
Celebrate the holidays with ham-brr-ger puns, Ice Krispies Treat humor, and Frosted Flakes jokes.

Christmas Food Jokes, Fruitcake Humor, Rum Puns
(Because Roasting Chestnuts Jokes and Cookie Christmas Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream with a hot chilly dog!)
Warning: Eating U-Tinsels Advised! Gingerbread man jokes, chilly chili humor, and brrr-ito puns on the slide.
| Christmkas Food Jokes | Winter Holiday Humor | Nice Christmas Jokes, Naughty Xmas Puns |
| Party Jokes, Celebration Humor, Shindig Puns | Holiday Food Jokes | Holiday Drnking Jokes |
| Santa LOLs | Elf 'n Funny Puns | Xmas Animal Jokes | Reindeer Puns | Christmas Music Jokes |
| Xmas Come-Ons | Snow Jokes | Snowman Jokes | Winter Humor | Winter Hookups | Ski Jokes |

Q. What do weirdos and Christmas have in common? A. Furitcake!
Q. What do snowmen like to eat for lunch? A. Ice-berg-ers!
Q. Why doesn't Sant let the elvs cook? A. the steaks are too high!

Q. Which band do gingerbread men with one leg listen to?
A. Limp Bizkit.

Q. What is the best thing to put into a Christmas fruit cake?
A. Your teeth.

Q. What is the best thing to put into a Christmas fruit cake?
A. Anything but your fist because broken fingers hurt worse than eating fruit cake.

Q. What do snowmen always order off the Tex-Mex lunch menu?
A. Brrr-itos!

Q. Where can you find chili beans?
A. At the North Pole.

Q. What do snowmen order at Wendy's Slide-thru window?
A. A Frosty.

Q. Why is it so easy for elves to cook up Christmas cookies in the kitchen?
A. Because they know where every kitchen u-tinsel is.

Q. What did the Christmas holiday baker put on the gingerbread man's bed?
A. A cookie sheet.

Q. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a baker?
A. Frosty the Doughman.

Q. What is Santa's favorite snack food? A. Crisp Cringles!
Q. Why did the Grinch go to the liqour store? A. He was looking for the holiday spirit!
Q. What kind of pizza do you order on Christmas? A. Cheeses Crust!

Q. What is Santa's favorite snack food?
A. Crisp Pringles.

Q. What do you get if you deep-fry department store Santas?
A. Crispy Kringles.

Q. Which sweet treat are patients at the insane asylum served for dessert on Christmas?
A. Fruitcake with extra nuts.

Q. What is a snowman's favorite winter drink at the North Pole Bar?
A. Long Island Iced Tea.

Q. What kind of wine does Rudolph the Reindeer prefer?
A. Red! Unless he's on a rooftop, then White!

Q. What's in the potent Christmas cocktail called Little Drummer Boy?
A. One part rum, three parts Painful rum Puns.

Q. Why can't you trust baked goods during the holidays?
'Cause it might be a minced spy!

Q. Which kind of pizza do mice especially enjoy during the winter holiday season?
A. Cheeses Crust.

Q. What does Tony the Tiger call snowman dandruff?
A. Frosted Flakes.

Q. Where do Santa and his reindeer get hot chocolate whle on a sky flight? A. Star-Bucks!
Q. What do snowment eat for breakfast? A. Frosted Flakes!
Q. What do you call a thick spicy holiday beverage that's served from barrels? A. Keg Nog!

Q. Why should you never leave out 288 cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve?
A. Because that's two gross!

Q. What do you get if you cross Santa with a flock of ducks?
A. Christmas Quackers.

Q. What do snowmen like to eat for lunch druning a winter snowstorm?
A. Ice-BRR-gers.

Q. What is a snowman's favorite Christmas snack?
Ice Krispie Treats.

Q. Which kind of cake does a snowman like?
A. Any kind, as long as it has a lot of frosting.

Q. What do cool snowman eat for dinner?
A. Iceberg lettuce salad drizzled with chilly sauce dressing .

Q. What is a zombie's favorite holiday beverage?
A. Egg noggin.

Q. At the craft beer pub in Breckenridge, Colorado what is the drunk guy's favorite kind of skis?
A. Brewskies!

Q. How do you know when a Vail ski instructor walks into the bar?
A. Don't worry, he'll tell you.

Q. Why don't reindeer like picnics? A. Because of all their ant-lures!
Big Ape Asks: What does Santa sing when he goes down the chimney? A. Chestnuts Roating on an Open Fire!
Q. Why was a snowman rummaging through that big bag of carrots? A. He was just picking his hose!

Q. How does Santa make his reindeer fly?
A. He gives them Red Bull, because Red Bull gives you wings.

Q. What happened when the baker crossed an apple with a Christmas tree?
A. He got enough pineapple pies for a crowd.

Q. What did the Christmas gingerbread man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet.

Q. Whic holiday carol makes Santa say "No, No, No!" instead of "Ho, Ho, Ho" on Christmas Eve?
A. Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire!

Q. What do you call a group of chess masters bragging about their games in a hotel lobby during December?
A. Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

Q. Why don't snowmen like carrot cake?
A. Because it tastes like boogers.

Q. What did the annoyed snowman say to the carrot?
A. Just get out of my face!

Christmas Wisecrack: Good parents teach their kids not to catch snowflakes with their tongues until all the birds have gone south.

Q. What's green and red and guides Santa's sleigh? Rudolph the Red-Nosed Pickle!
Q. Why is everyone so thirsty at the North Pole? A. No well, no well!
Q. What does an elf cook use in the kitchen? A. A U-Tinsel!

Q. What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree and an apple?
A. A pineapple.

Q. What happens when you eat too much pumpkin pie during the fall season and then again at Christmas time?
A. You'll get autmn-y ache.

Q. Which kind of corn chips are best after a day of holiday skiing when you're sitting in front of the fireplace with your boots off?
A. Tostitos.

Q. What is the most commonly served beverage at the North Pole?
Iced Tea.

Q. Why didn't the North Pole tourist get any sleep last night?
A. Because he accidentally plugged his electric blanket into the toaster and he kept popping out of bed all night.

Q. What do apres-ski participants in white-out blizzard conditions eat for lunch?
A. Icebergers. BRR!

Q. What do Colorado skiers like in their breakfast bowl?
A. Frosted Flakes.

Q. Which exercise do elves at Santa's candy factory do to stay fit?
A. Peppermint twists.

Q. If you're telemark skiing the Colorado slopes over the holidays and find a fork in the ski run, what should you do?
A. Stop for lunch!

Q. What do winter holiday skiers order at fast food restaurants?
A. Icebergers with Chilly Sauce, on the slide.

| Seasonal Holiday Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Happy Birthday Party Humor | Gnome Holiday Party Jokes |
| Party Jokes, Celebration Humor, Shindig Puns | Holiday Food Jokes | Holiday Drnking Jokes |
| Valentine's Day Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Valentine VD Day Pick-Up Lines | St. Patrick's Day Humor |
| Spring Holidays Jokes | Happy 420 Jokes | Party Animal Puns | Hot Summer Holiday Jokes |
| Autumn and Fall Puns | Halloween Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Halloween Treats | Spooky Come-Ons |
| Thanksgiving Jokes | Winter Holiday | Christmas Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
| Santa Claus Jokes | 2 | Xmas Food Jokes | Elf LOLs | Xmas Music Jokes | Xmas Chat Ups | 2 |
| Christmas Animal Jokes | New Year's Eve Jokes | Winter Humor | 2 | 3 | Winter Hookup Lines |
| Daily Jokes | Sunday Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | Monday | 2 | 3 | Tuesday | 2 | 3 | Wednesday | 2 | 3 |
| Thursday Humor | 2 | Friday Fun Funs | 2 | 3 | 4 | Saturday LOLs | 2 | 3 | Daily Pick-Up Lines |

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You're still in the holiday spirit, so here's even more merry laughter, biting
humor, frosted jokes and flaky painful puns to satisfy your appetitie for grins:

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| Burger Puns | Carrot Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Cookie Humor | Craft Beer Puns | Dessert Jokes | Family Humor |
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| Religion Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes | Snack Humor | Sports Jokes | Steak Puns | USA Travel Jokes | Wine Lover Laughs |

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