Whiskey Says: Happy Booze Day!   PainfulPuns.com - Holiday Puns, Silly Seasonal Jokes, Happy Days

PainfulPuns Home
Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor
Bartender Puns, Bar Humor
Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes!
Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor
Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns
Edible Puns, Fun with Food
Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes
Garden Puns, Green Groaners
Gnome Puns Intended
Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns
Monstrously Funny Puns
Work Humor, Joking on the Job
Old Jokes & Old Never Die Puns
Painful Puns, Punny Funs
Pet Puns + Jokes = Funny Pet Peeves
Sharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-Ons
Funny Riddles, Punny Answers!
Sick Puns, Healthy Laughs
Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns
Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

And while you're here,
please take a moment to
visit our sponsors:

Wine Humor: Is a wine hangover the wrath of grapes?
Beer glass quips: Life and beer are veryy similar. Chill for best results!
Whiskey Says: Happy Slurs-Day!
What do you call a mushroom who buys a round of drinks? A Fun-Gi

Beer-Drinking Chimp Says: Happy Bent-Day!
Hangover: The Wrath of Grapes
Glass of Beer Says: Happy Mug Day!

Wine Humor: What is it called when you get a hangover from drinking wine? A. The grape depression!


Seasonal Drinking Jokes and Holiday Libation Humor
Say Cheers to festive party drink puns, special occasion cocktail humor, and holiday drunk jokes.

Drunken Holiday Jokes, Seasonal Party Drink Puns
(Because Inebriated Holiday Jokes Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream from New Year's Day Through New Year's Eve!)
Warning: Proceed Carefully! St. Pat's drinking jokes, drunken Halloween humor, and Merlot Christmas puns ahead.
| Holiday Drnking Jokes | Party Jokes, Celebration Humor, Shindig Puns | Holiday Food Jokes |
| Seasonal Holiday Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Happy Birthday Party Humor | Gnome Holiday Party Jokes |
| Spring Holidays Jokes | Hot Summer Jokes | Autumn Jokes, Fall Puns | Winter Holiday Jokes |
| Day of the Week LOLs | Sunday Puns | Friday Jokes| Saturday Party Puns | Daily Pick-Up Lines |

Q. What task does a theater guide do on the first of January? A. He ushers in the new  year!
Chimp says: Love has four letters, but then again, so does beer!
Q. What do you call an Irish pothead? A. O'Blarney Stoned!

Warning: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance of the space-time continuum that explains those gaps of time that seem to disappear, especially around the holidays.

Q. What is the forecast for New Year's Eve?
A. Mostly drunk with a slight chance of a cloudy New Year's Day.

Q. What happened to the blonde who thought about the evils of drinking on New Year's Eve?
A. She gave up thinking.

Q. Why didn't the blonde stop drinking on New Year's Day?
A. Because nobody likes a quitter.

Q. When does corn set off fireworks and get drunk?
A. New Ear's Eve.

Did you hear about the craft beer brewers that got married on Valentine's Day? They lived hopily ever after.

Q. How is a pitcher of beer better than a date with a woman on Valentine's Day?
A. You don't have to wine and dine a beer.

Q. Why is draft beer better than a woman on Valentine's Day?
A. If your pour a beer right, you get good head every time.

Q. Why is draft beer better than a woman?
A. Because beer thinks your karaoke singing at the brew pub on Valentine's Day was awesome!

Q. What did the craft brew say to the beer mug on Valentine's Day?
A. I got all hopped up when I met you!

Q. Which green drink do horny leprechauns drink on St. Patrick's Day?
A. Mount 'N Do.

St. Patrick's Day Point to Ponder: If you drink green beer on St. Patrick's Day, is that considered a vegetable?

Q. Why do little space men always turn green when they land on Earth?
A. Turbulence, and beer on St. Patrick's Day!

Q. Who was the Irish guy bouncing off the pub walls on St. Patrick's Day?
A. Rick O'Shay.

Q. How can you tell an Irishman had a fun St. Patrick's Day at the pub?
A. He's Dublin over with laughter.

Q. What do ghosts drink on St. Patrick's Day?
A. Boos!

Rabbits like their beer brewed with a lot of hops.
Chimp asks: How are men like coolers? A. Load thm with beer, and you can take them anywhere!
Pitcher of beer asks: What do you call it when the whole town drinks from the same barrel? A cask of thousands!

Q. Why does the Easter Bunny drink craft beer?
A. 'Cause it makes him so hoppy.

Q. Why is IPA a rabbit's favorite kind of beer to drink during the spring?
A. Because it's so hoppy.

Q. What did March say about the madness at the sports bar?
A. What's all the bracket?

Q. Where do point guards take their dates to have a few drinks and party after the big game?
A. To a basket ball.

Q. Why are basketball players such messy beer drinkers?
A. Because they're always dribbling.

Q. Why is an ice cold beer better than a woman?
A. Because beer doesn't tell you that you smell bad after mowing the lawn

A baseball flies into a brew pub, and the bartender throws him out...

Q. How do the Colorado Rockies toast a winning baseball season?
A. With a pitcher of craft beer!

Q. What do you call the monkey who made the winning play in the Bar League Finals?
A. Chimpion!

Q. What did it take to keep the great pitcher on the Bar League baseball team?
A. The team's sponser had to strike up a good deal on a keg of craft beer.

Q. What do you call a great drawing depicting a drunken 4th of July celebration? A. A Yankee Doodle Dandy!

Q. How is a can of cold beer better than a hot woman on the 4th of July?
A. A beer doesn't get jealous if you grab another beer.

Hot Dog End of the Summer Sentiment: I'm going to spend Labor Day putting my liver to work!

Q. Why is a beer keg better than a woman on Labor Day weekend?
A. You can share a beer with alot of friends!

On the Tuesday after Labor Day, take comfort in knowing that the pressure to have fun and drink way too much over the summer has finally passed.

Chimp with a Beer Mug Says: Happy Wet's Day!
Beer mugs ask: What has eight arms and an IQ of 80? Four guys drinking beer and watching a football game!
Fish says: Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day!

Our house has an open door policy all year long. Bring beer, and we'll open the door.

Q. Why do gynecologists only drink Pabst Blue Ribbon beer and Smirnoff Vodka at sizzling summer parties?
A. They're accustomed to Pabst Smir.

Q. What is the difference between the G-spot and a bottle of Jack Daniels?
A. This is exactly why blondes hate summer camping trips!

A guy came home late after the double-header at the sports bar and saw a note on the refrigerator saying, "This isn't working. I'm going to my mother's house." He opened the fridge. The light was on and the beer was cold, so he wasn't sure what she was talking about?

Q. How is a beer better than a woman?
A. Beers are always into football season!

Q. What is the difference between a sofa and a man watching Monday Night Football?
A. The sofa doesn't keep asking for Bud Light!

Q. Why did the blonde leave the Broncos tailgating party crying?
A. Because they ran out of Coors Light in left-handed cans.

Q. How can you tell it was a brutal Broncos game at the Denver sports bar?
A. Even your dog said it was "ruff!"

Q. What happened to the Colorado brew pub patron who fell into a barrel of beer while watching a Broncos game?
A. He came to a very bitter end.

Sports Bar Point to Ponder: If you're an alcoholic if you drink too much vodka, then are you Fantastic if you drink too much Orange Crush soda during a Broncos Game?

Q. What happens after a fisherman drinks like a fish?
A. He eels he needs to go like a fire hose.

Q. How is a beer better than a woman?
A. Beer likes to go fishing, plus beer never fishes for compliments!

Q. What do you call a fisherman who drinks too much while out to sea?
A. A beer-a-cuda.

Two guys were fishing in a boat when one guy pulled a genie in a bottle out of the lake. The grateful genie grants them one wish. First guys says, "I wish this lake was full of beer." Poof! It's beer. Second guy says, "You idiot, now we have to pee in the boat!"

Q. What's the difference between a hungry pirate and a drunken pirate on September 19th?
A. One has a rumbling tummy and the other's a tumbling rummy.

A skeleton walks in a bar and says: "Give me a beer...and a mop."
Never Drink with Ghosts. Because they can't handle their boo!
Hauntinly funny bar joke: Q. What does a ghost drink? A. Boos!

Q. What kind of beer do skeletons like?
A. Pale Ale with lots of body.

Q. Why do skeletons prefer cabernet wine?
A. Because of its full body.

Q. Why did the ghost decide to go to AA?
A. Because he had a problem with BOOze.

Q. Why are skeletons so calm while they're out drinking booze?
A. Because nothing gets under their skin.

Q. What happens when a ghost drinks too much Tennessee whiskey?
A. It ends up sheet faced!

A skeleton walks into a bar, holds up two phalanges and says, "I'd like two beers and a mop."

Q. What did the bartender say when a ghost walked into the bar?
A. Sorry, we don't serve spirits here.

Q. Why was the party animal called "The Exorcist?"
A. As soon as he arrives at the party, he rids it of all its spirits.

Q. What happens when a ghost drinks too much liquor?
A. He gets sheet faced!

Q. Why did ghosts go to a bar on All Hallows Eve?
A. For the boos!

Q. What is a zombie's favorite holiday beverage?
A. Egg noggin.

Q. What killer round did the zombie order at the bar?
A. A shot of ta-kill-ya, a Bloody Mary, and a Mind Eraser!

Q. How did the London bobbies know the werewolf did it?
A. He was seen drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's.

Q. What did the three vampires order at the bar?
A. Two Bloods and a Blood Light.

Q. What is a vampire's favorite beer?
A. Bloodweiser.

Q. What did the vampire order to drink during happy hour on Halloween?
A. A Bloody Mary.

Q. Why did the Grinch go to the liqour store? A. He was looking for the holiday spirit!
Santa Says: It's another roof Saturday night!
Q. What do you call a thick spicy holiday beverage that's served from barrels? A. Keg Nog!

Q. What is the Colorado code phrase for stepping out to fire up a blunt before the rest of the family arrives for Turkey Day dinner?
A. Let's get basted!

Q. What do you call an Abominable Snowman with a six-pack?
A. Yeti to party.

Q. How do you know when a Vail ski instructor walks into the bar?
A. Don't worry, he'll tell you.

Q. At the craft beer pub in Breckenridge, Colorado what is the drunk guy's favorite kind of skis?
A. Brewskies!

Q. Why is everbody always so thirsty at the North Pole?
A. No Well, No We

Q. What does Mrs. Claus say to Santa before he leaves for the day?
A. Ho, ho, ho. Merlot Christmas!

Q. Why does Mrs. Santa enjoy the Christmas season so much?
A. Because it's the most wine-derful time of the year!

Q. Why is Mrs. Claus so jolly?
A. She jingles all the cabernet while Santa's on his sleigh!

Wine Lovers Holiday Wish: May all your Christmases be white, or red!

Q. Why did the Scrooge go to the liquor store?
A. He was looking for the Holiday Spirit of Christmas Past.

Q. How does Mrs. Claus endure living at the North Pole?
A. She's enjoys living in a Wine-ter Wonderland!

Q. What kind of wine does Rudolph the Reindeer prefer?
A. Red! Unless he's on a rooftop, then White!

Q. What do they serve after the little drummer boy performs?
A. Rum Rum Rum Rum Rum.

Q. What's in the potent Christmas cocktail called Little Drummer Boy?
A. One part rum, three parts Painful rum Puns.

Q. What were the highlights of the latest Super Bowl?
A. The ads, especially the beer ads!

| Holiday Drnking Jokes | Party Jokes, Celebration Humor, Shindig Puns | Holiday Food Jokes |
| Seasonal Holiday Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Happy Birthday Party Humor | Gnome Holiday Party Jokes |
| Valentine's Day Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Valentine VD Day Pick-Up Lines | St. Patrick's Day Humor |
| Spring Holidays Jokes | Happy 420 Jokes | Party Animal Puns | Hot Summer Holiday Jokes |
| Autumn and Fall Puns | Halloween Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Halloween Treats | Spooky Come-Ons |
| Thanksgiving Jokes | Winter Holiday | Christmas Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
| Santa Claus Jokes | 2 | Xmas Food Jokes | Elf LOLs | Xmas Music Jokes | Xmas Chat Ups | 2 |
| Christmas Animal Jokes | New Year's Eve Jokes | Winter Humor | 2 | 3 | Winter Hookup Lines |
| Daily Jokes | Sunday Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | Monday | 2 | 3 | Tuesday | 2 | 3 | Wednesday | 2 | 3 |
| Thursday Humor | 2 | Friday Fun Funs | 2 | 3 | 4 | Saturday LOLs | 2 | 3 | Daily Pick-Up Lines |

PainfulPuns Home
You're still toasting the grins, so here's more festive laughter, high proof
humor, jolly good jokes and cheers-ful painful puns to celebrate all year long:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Beer Puns | Cocktail LOLs | Colorado Jokes | Denver Brondos Jokes | Dinner Jokes | Evening LOLs | Family Jokes |
| Ghost Jokes | Green Jokes | Kid Humor | Love Jokes | Man Jokes | Police Puns | Psychic Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes |
| Skeleton Puns | Sports Jokes | USA Travel Jokes | Weather Humor | Wine Lover Jokes | Wry Whiskey Laughs |

Bartender Puns, Bar HumorPainful Jokes & Groaner Puns Sharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-Ons
Monstrously Funny PunsCrappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes! Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon!

Join us on social media and please feel free to share our memes with friends and family:
PainfulPuns at Facebook PainfulPuns at Twitter PainfulPuns at Pinterest

©2017-2021 Painfulpuns.com PainfulPuns.com Logo Man All rights reserved.