Q. What is the best thing about Valentine's Day? A. The day after, when chocoate goes on sale!   PainfulPuns.com - Holiday Puns, Silly Seasonal Jokes, Happy Days

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Q. What did the painter say to his lover on Valentine's Day? A. I love you with all my art!
Q. What happened when two vampires met? A. Love At First Bite!
Roses are red, violets are blue, if he's usy on Valentine's Day, the side chick is you!
I Hate Cupid Because He's SO Stupid!

 


Valentine's Day Puns, Hot Humor, Cupid Jokes
Hook up with hot love humor, really cupid puns, hearty laughs and ANTI Valentine's Day jokes.

Valentine's Day Jokes, Cupid Puns, Love Humor
(Because Hot 'n Horny Puns and Funny Valentine's Day Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream on February 14!)
Warning: Party Hearty At Your Own Peril! Red humor, blue jokes, and Valentine's Day poem puns ahead.
| Valentine's Day Jokes and Funny Valentines | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Valentine VD Pick-Up Lines |
| Dating Jokes and Hookup Humor | Steady Relationship Jokes | Lover Jokes and Love Puns |
| Marriage Jokes, Engaging Wedding Humor | Divorce Jokes | Breakup Jokes, Dateless Puns |

| Poem Puns and Poetic Jokes | Gnome Dating Jokes | Hump Day Humor | Wine Lovers Jokes |
| Astrology Jokes | Mile High Club Jokes | Sax and Violins Puns | Social Media Jokes |

Q. What did a root veggie say to another on alentin's Day? A. You make my heart beet faster!Q. What other holiday falls on February 14? A. S.A.D. Singles Awareness Day!Q. What did the strawberry say to his lady on Valentine's Day? A. I love you berry much!

Q. What did the great horned bird say to his sweetie on Valentine's Day?
A. Owl be yours, if you'll be mine.

VD Day Pick-Up Line: Hi, remember me? No? Oh yeah, we've only met in my dreams.

Valentine's Day Pick-Down Line: Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be alone than be with you.

Q. Why did the confirmed bachelor wear a mask on Valentine's Day?
A. He heard love was in the air.

Dear Valentine's Day, the only thing I got this February 14 was a cavity.

Q. What is the difference between a calendar and you?
A. A calendar always has a date on Valentine's Day.

Q. What did the trendy French chef give his lover on Valentine's Day?
A. A hug and a quiche.

Funny As Hell VD Day Pick-Up Line: Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the answer to all my prayers.

Hairy Funny Anti Valentine's Day Thought of the Day: Screw you Cupid, I have cats!

Q. What is a vampire's lover called? A. His Ghoul Friend!Love Stinks! Happy Valentine's Day?Q. What happened when a guy fell in love with his garden? A. It made him wed his plants!

Q. What did the bat say to his girlfriend on Valentine's Day?
A. You're fun to hang out with!

Valentine's Day Pick-Up Line: Bae, be mine, 'cause yo so fine.

Q. Why do skunks absolutely love Valentine's Day?
A.
Because they're very scent-timental!

Q. What song does a ram sing to his mate on Valentine's Day?
A. I Only Have Eyes for Ewe, Dear!

Q. What is the most romantic city in England on Valentine's Day?
A.
Loverpool.

Q. What did one fungi say to another on Valentine's Day?
A. There's so mushroom in my heart for you.

Q. Why does cupid always make so much money at the casino? A. Because he's a Valentine's card shark!Never go to a seafood dance on Valentine's Day because you might pull a mussel!Q. How does a vampire ask for a date? A. Let's go out for a bite!

Q. How does Cupid travel around so quickly?
A.
He shoots into his arrow-plane.

Q. What did Tom say to Kitty on Valentine's Day?
A. You're purr-fect for me.

Q. What did Orca say to his girlfriend on Valentine's Day?
A. Whale you be mine?

Q. What did the boy bee say to the girl bee on Valentine's Day?
A. I Love Bee-ing with You, Honey!

Q. What did Frankenstein say to his ghoul friend on February 14?
A. Will you be my Valenstein?

Q. What happened to the bed bugs that fell in love on Valentine's Day?
A. They got married in the spring.

Q. What did the light bulb say to the other on Valentine's Day? A. I love you a watt!Q. Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable? A. Because it's all heart!Hey Gnirl, Please Brie My Valentine?

Q. How does the front doorbell greet the back doorbell on February 14?
A.
Be My ValenChime!

Q. What did the light bulb say to the switch on Valentine's Day?
A. You really turn me on!

Q. Why is Valentine's Day such a great time to have a celebration?
A. Because you can party hearty!

Q. What did the little gherkin say to the big pickle on Valentine's Day?
A. You mean a great dill to me.

Q. What did a knotty guy say to the girl who was stringing him along on February 14?
A. Will you be my Valentwine?

Q. What do you call an itty bitty greeting card on February 14?
A. A Valen-tiny.

Big Ape Says: I don't like Valentine's Day, I love it!Q. What did one cupcake say to another on Valentine's Day? A. You're my stud muffin!Q. What do you say to your coffee lover on Valentine's Day? A. Words cannot espresso what you mean to me!

Q. What did the bruin say to his best girl on Valentine's Day?
A. I love you beary much.

Q. What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?
A. Lots of ughs and kisses.

Q. What do you call two lovebirds on Valentine's Day?
A. Tweet Hearts.

Q. What's the most romantic part of a fork?
A. Its Valen-tines.

Q. What did the volcano say to his hot girlfriend on Valentine's Day?
A. I lava you very much.

VD Day Pick-Up Line: Babe, if you were the words on this Valentine, you'd be the fine print.

| Valentine's Day Jokes and Funny Valentines | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Valentine VD Pick-Up Lines |
| Dating Jokes and Hookup Humor | Steady Relationship Jokes | Lover Jokes and Love Puns |
| Marriage Jokes, Engaging Wedding Humor | Divorce Jokes | Breakup Jokes, Dateless Puns |

| Poem Puns and Poetic Jokes | Gnome Dating Jokes | Hump Day Humor | Wine Lovers Jokes |
| Astrology Jokes | Mile High Club Jokes | Sax and Violins Puns | Social Media Jokes |
| Holiday Party Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Happy Birthday Party Humor | Gnome Holiday Party Jokes |
| St. Patrick's Day Jokes | Spring Holidays Jokes | Happy 420 Jokes | Party Animal Puns |
| Hot Summer Holiday Jokes | Halloween Jokes | Halloween Treats | Spooky Come-Ons |
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| New Year's Eve Jokes | Winter Humor | Winter Hookup Lines | Daily Jokes | Daily Pick-Ups |
| Sunday Puns | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday Funs | Saturday LOLs |

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