Why do gnomes get a bad rap? Gnome Rhyme, Nor Reason.   PainfulPuns.com - Smart Humor, Science Puns, Math Jokes, Pi!

PainfulPuns Home
Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor
Bartender Puns, Bar Humor
Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes!
Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor
Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns
Edible Puns, Fun with Food
Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes
Garden Puns, Green Groaners
Gnome Puns Intended
Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns
Monstrously Funny Puns
Work Humor, Joking on the Job
Old Jokes & Old Never Die Puns
Painful Puns, Punny Funs
Pet Puns + Jokes = Funny Pet Peeves
Sharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-Ons
Funny Riddles, Punny Answers!
Sick Puns, Healthy Laughs
Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns
Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

And while you're here,
please take a moment to
visit our sponsors:

Weed Leaf Says: Wake Up And Bake Up!
Chimp says: Love has four letters, but then again, so does beer!

Q. What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes? A. Remorse code!
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.


Poet Jokes, Re-Verse Puns, Ode Humor
Romantic sonnet humor, poetry puns, lyrical laureate laughs and balladeer jokes woo epic grins.

Poetry Jokes, Epic Poem Humor, Bard Puns
('Cause Poem Jokes, Poetry Puns, and Haiku Humor Could Never Be TOO Mainstream for Wordsmith Comedians!)
Warning: Recite with Caution! Semi-prose jokes, rhyming humor, vice verse-a groans and ode-ful puns ahead.
| Poetry Jokes | Poetic Pot Puns | Author Jokes, Literary Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Author Unknown |
| Book Jokes, Ficticious Book Title Puns, Apt Author LOLs | Librarian Jokes and Library Humor |
| Grammar Jokes, Punctuation Puns | Letter LOLs | School Jokes, Student Puns | Teacher Jokes |
| Science Jokes and Scientist Puns | 2 | Science Pick-Up Lines | Chemistry Jokes | Physics Puns |

If a poet ascends in an elevator, can you say the bard has been raised?A tattooed barmaid limerick

Q. What is called when a beau keeps walking around his lady reciting odes to her?
A. Poetry in Motion.

Q. What is the highest honor among Cowboy poets?
A. Poet lariat.

Q. Why are poets always so poor?
A. Because rhyme doesn't pay.

Q. How is the guy doing in the poetry pun contest?
A. He stanza good chance.

Q. How does a poet sneeze?
A. HaiKu!

Q. What is every poet's favorite legume?
A. Rhyme-a beans.

Q. When is a carpenter with a 2x4 like a poem?
A. When he's a sawin' it.

Q. Why did the boy poet introduce himself to the girl poet?
A. Because he wanted to meter.

Q. How do poets say hello?
A. Hey, haven't we metaphor?

Q. Why didn't the angry farmer divorce his wife when she traded their prize milking cow for a book of poetry?
A. Because he vowed to love her for butter or verse.

Q. What is it called when a witch only casts spells that rhyme?
A. Poetry in Potion.

Q. How does one decide to host a night of Star Trek poetry reading?
A. Weigh the prose and Khans and open a bottle of Romulan ale.

Q. How do space science fiction poets write their poems?
A. In uni-verses.

Today's Timely Poem:
There once was a lady named Bright
who traveled much faster than light.
She departed one day in a relative way,
and returned on the previous night.

Q. Which ogre writes and recites poetry?
A. Shrek Speare.

Q. How is the truth just like poetry?
A. Most people hate both.

Pot Poetry: Dig a little hole, plant a little seed, wait a little while, smoke a little weed!Shakespeare walks into a bar and asks for a beer. Bartender replies: "I can't serve you. You're Bard."Troll Poetry... Un Gnome Passage

Q. What is the best reading material outdoors in the woods?

Q. Why did the poet sneeze?
A. 'Cause he had analogy.
A. Poet-tree.

Q. What do you call poetry by a pigeon out in a marijuana field?
A. High Coo!

Q. Why did the traffic cop give the poet a ticket?
A. For driving without a poetic license.

Q. What did the library cop say when the lovelorn guy didn't pay the late fee on his overdue volumes of sonnets?
A. I'm gonna have to book ya.

Q. Which celebrated romanic era English poet was famous for being easily tempted?
A. Lured Byron.

Q. What happened when the vampire turned into a poet?
A. He went from bat to verse.

Q. What do you get when you combine Robert Frost and James Bond?
A. The Road Not Shaken but Stirred.

Q. How do poets say farewell?
A. I would like to linger longer, but it's getting aliter-ate.

Q. Who was the toughest guy at the local poetry guild meeting?
A. Conan, the Librarian.

Q. What does a poet do if his dog starts eating up his latest verses?
A. He takes the words right out of his mouth!

Q. Why do Cowboys write poetry?
A. Because they're inspired by the moos.

Q. What happened when an amatuer poet took a stab at writing a novel?
A. He failed, 'cause novels are for pros.

Q. What do you say to Edgar Allan Poe to quickly warn him that he's about to walk into a Blue Spruce?
A. Poetry!

Q. Why was John Keats always hounded by creditors?
A. Because he Ode so much.

Gnome Poetry: She loves me, she loves me gnot!Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke a little leaf. Jack got high and dropped his fl, and Jill said "Where's the Beer?"Why do gnomes make bad rappers? Gnome Rhyme, Ignor Reason!

Too bad that last poetry joke wasn't written by the UnGnome Comic. That would have been funnier.

Poetic Pick-Up Line: Babe, I like your style, I like your class, but most of all, I love your ass.

Q. What did the poet say to Luke Skywalker?
A. Metaphors be with you.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I ain't no poet, but neither are you.

Q. Which hand is it better for writing poetry?
A. Neither. It's best to write with a pen.

Poetry Point to Ponder: If a poet writes in verse, does a backward poet write inverse?

Q. What is it called when moisturizer gets spilled on a volume of sonnets?
A. Poetry in lotion.

Q. Why do poets despise writing commercial jingles?
A. Because jingles are ad-verse.

Q. Which writing genre pays the most?
A. Cheesy poetry it is not, but Ransom notes do pay a lot!

Q. Which kind of artisan bread does a bard baker create?
A. Poet-rye.

Q. What do a rambling poem and a used pencil have in common?
A. A very dull point, if any.

Q. Which new book is about overly passionate poets who ended up in jail?
A. Prose and Cons.

Q. Why did the library's most popular poetry book go to the hospital?
A. 'Cause it hurt its spine.

Enterprise Rap of the Day: If the phaser shocker don't rock her, then go ahead a Spock her!

Poetry Writing Fact of the Day: A pencil is not as phallic as a pen is.

Q. What do you call a poem composed by clever canines that you have to scan to understand?
A. A bark ode.

Q. Which ind of sports league is made up solely of poets?
A. Semi-prose.

Q. Where do poets obtain poetic licenses?
A. From the DMV, the Department of Metrical Verse.

Q. What's the difference between a boring poet and a boring poetry book?
A. You can shut the boring book up.

Bud Says: God is perfect. Man is not. Made made liquor. God made pot!Roses are red, violets are blue, if he's usy on Valentine's Day, the side chick is you!Pot Poetry: Weed is good, weed is fine. If you share yours, I'll share mine!

Q. Where do poems come from?
A. Poe-trees.

Q. What is it called when you start to write a poem, but start to itch and sneeze?
A. An elegy attack.

Q. What is it called when a Japanese poet smokes weed and then overthrows the Shogun?
A. High Coup.

Coffee Poetry: The worst part of waking up, from a nap, is Folger's in your lap!

Q. How do little green space alien poets write their poetry?
A. In galactic uni-verses.

Q. What is the favorite poem aboard Star Trek Enterprise NCC-1701-D?
A. An Ode to Spot.

Q. Why are computer programmers so good at writing poetry?
A. Because everything rhymes in binary.

Q. Who is big and gray and writes poetry?
A. T.S. Elephant.

Q. How many letters are in a great poet's name?
A. Just a couple of Wordsworth.

Q. What do you call a poet who was know for her footwork?
A. Iamb Woman.

Q. How many epic poem writers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. A vast and teeming horde, traveling both away and toward, stretching from sea to shining sea, to write the poetry that is to be!

Q. How does one decide to host a night of Star Trek poetry reading?
A. Weigh the prose and Khans.

Q. Where does the librarian in the poetry section nap during her break?
A. Between the covers.

Q. What do you call a room full of redhead beatniks reciting poetry?
A. Ginger snaps.

Q. Which literary period was known for flowery poetry?
A. The Romance Era.

Q. Why do dark poets always feel cold?
A. 'Cause they're surrounded by so many drafts!

Q. What happened when the guy started reading an intriguing poem about corn mazes in Iowa?
A. He got lost in it.

Q. Which video game is every poet's favorite?
A. Sonnet the Hedgehog.

Q. What happens when you read a physicist's pointed poem about a singularity?
A. It really sucks you in...

Literate Point to Ponder: Dinosaurs did not read, write, or recite poetry. Now they're extinct.

Q. What did Shakespeare call his ghost writers?
A. Sonnet committee.

Q. What did the librarian say when her poetry presentation hour was finally over?
A. Time to Book!

| Poetry Jokes | Poetic Pot Puns | Author Jokes, Literary Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Author Unknown |
| Book Jokes, Ficticious Book Title Puns, Apt Author LOLs | Librarian Jokes and Library Humor |
| Grammar Jokes, Punctuation Puns | Letter LOLs | School Jokes, Student Puns | Teacher Jokes |
| Museum Puns | Archaeology Jokes and Paleontology Puns | Geologist Jokes and Rock Humor |
| Science Jokes and Scientist Humor | Chemistry Jokes | Physics Puns | Science Pick-Up Lines |
| Astronaut Jokes, Outer Space Humor | Ancient Astronaut Jokes | Sun Jokes and Star Puns |
| Moon Jokes | Planet Puns | Mars Jokes | Mars Rover Jokes | Engineering Jokes | Math Jokes |
| Brainy Jokes & Smart Puns | Brainiac Puns | Brain Jokes | Weather | Eco Environmetal Jokes |

PainfulPuns Home
You're well-versed, but here's more epic humor, mysterious quatrains,
lyrical laughs, ode jokes and bard painful puns that seriously don't rhyme:

More Deft Painful Puns, Ace Groaner Jokes, and Apt Unanswered Riddles...

| Dumb Blonde Jokes | Stupid Bar Jokes | Astute Colorado Jokes | Gnome Nonsense | Clever Hipster Jokes |
| Guy Smarts | Brilliant Light Bulb Jokes | Acute Medical Puns | Musical Genius Jokes | Smart Ass Pick-Up Lines |
| Mind-Bending Painful Puns | Mind-Boggling Riddles | Mind-Numbing Shrink Puns | On the Ball Sports Jokes |
| Smart Techie Jokes | Savvy Travel Jokes | Dumb Weed Jokes | Shrew-d Witch Puns | Brainy Zombie Jokes |

Funny Riddles, Punny Answers! Sick Puns, Healthy Laughs Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Ouch!
Work Humor, Joking on the Job Sharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-Ons Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon!

Join us on social media and please feel free to share our memes with friends and family:
PainfulPuns at Facebook PainfulPuns at Twitter PainfulPuns at Pinterest

©2017-2021 Painfulpuns.com PainfulPuns.com Logo Man All rights reserved.