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Q. Which musician writes songs about a country in the Himalayas? A. Nepal Simon!
Q. What does Doctor McCoy say before each new mission? Bones Voyage!
Q. Where does a brain go on vacation? A. To a Hippocampus!
Railway that ships potatoes and yams nation wide: Yam Trak

 


Vacation Jokes, Traffic Puns, On the Road Humor
Tour a travel trove of bumpy tourist puns, vacation humor, and funny road trip jokes.

Travel Jokes, Tourist Humor, Road Trip Puns
(Because Fast Moving Vacation Jokes Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream If You Are Stuck in @#$%! Traffic All Week!)
Warning: Go This Route at Your Own Risk! Bumpy travel humor, racy road jokes, and pun potholes ahead.
| Travel Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | World Traveler Jokes | British Travel Jokes | Air Travel Puns |
| Road Trip Jokes and Traffic Humor | Car Jokes | Auto Mechanic Puns | Colorado Tourist Jokes |
| Cross the Road Jokes | Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? | Sci-Fi Crossed the Road | 2 |
| Travel Pick-Up Lines | Sea Trip Jokes | 2 | Space Travel Jokes | Time Travel Jokes | Time Puns |


Q. Where do pencils go on vacation? A. Pencil-vania!Q. What do you call a big traffic jam? A. Muddle of the roadQ. Why did the traffic light turn red? A. You would too, if you had to change in the middle of the road!

Q. Why did the tourist's luggage start to cry?
A. Because he had emotional baggage.

Q. What did the alien ask its shipmate that just returned from vacation?
A. Where on Earth have you been?

Q. Why didn't the quantum chicken have to cross the road to go on vacation?
A. She was already on both sides.

Q. Why does it take so long for the highway crew to clean off all the slime after a big mudslide?
A. Because its oozier said than done!

Travel Pick-Up Line: Bae, if you were a TSA agent, I'd be happy to get a body scan.

Q. Why aren't there more funny automobile road trip jokes?
A. Because car puns are so exhausting!

Q. Why should you tell an asphalt joke before you tell a dirt road pun?
A. Because it will pave the way to big groans.

Car Travel Points to Ponder: If you run behind your car, you'll get exhausted. If you walk in front of a car, you'll get tired.

Q. Where do many flat tires occur?
A. Where there is a fork in the road!

Travel Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, did you overstay your Visa? 'Cause you are looking fine!

Q. What kind of car does a proctologist drive on a road trip?
A. A brown Ford Probe.

Q. Would you like to hear the joke about the limosine again?
A. No, it's too long...

Q. What do you call a road that's oddly elastic and springy?
A. Highway rubbery.

Two blondes were traveling on a road trip to Denver. The sign said, "Denver Left," so they started crying and went home.

Travel Pick-Up Line: Girl, there is Norway you're driving off before I get your number.

Q. Why were the hot air balloonists able to see the sun come up? A. because they were early risers!Q. Why don't locksmiths need to use GPS? A. They always know their lock-ation!Arkansas state trooper pulls over a pickup truck and asks the driver if he's got and ID. Driver says: "Bout what?"

Q. What do you call it when a giraffe swallows a small drone?
A. A real plane in the neck!

Q. Why were the flight attendants so stressed out?
A. They were feeling the cabin pressure.

Q. Why was the blonde guy afraid to fly to Finland?
A. He was afraid he'd disappear in FinnAir!

Q. Where might you travel on your vacation in Europe if you like really nice things?
A. Luxembourg.

Jacked Up Travel Pick-Up Line: Hey Hotrod, can I give you a lift?

Travel Point to Ponder: Can Chuck Norris fold airplanes into paper?

Q. What is it called when a financier's pilot tilts his private plane to curve around?
A. High-level banking.

Vacation Travel Point to Ponder: If you break the speed limit, can you fix it?

Q. How did the blonde get injured on vacation?
A. She was hit by a parked car. OUCH!

Q. What do you call traveling on backcountry roads with the high beams on at night?
A. A bright idea.

Q. Why did the police officer cry after making the arrest?
A. It was a moving violation.

Q. Why did the cops pull over the Mini Cooper full of clowns?
A. For the fun of it, plus they obviously weren't wearing seat belts.

Q. Why did the cop ticket the desktop computer?
A. Because it was speeding along the information highway!

News Flash: A news copter crashed into the local cemetery. Early reports say at least 500 dead. Stay tuned. More at 10 P.M.

Q. Why did a vampire drive on the highway? A. He was told it was a main artery!Q. Which national parks icon do locksmiths trust to preven forest fires? A. Smokey the Bear!You might be from Colorado if you've gone off-roading in a vehicle that wasn't intended for tht activity!

Q. Where do werewolves stay when they're traveling on vacation?
A. At the Howliday Inn.

Q. Where do British vampires go for a bloody good vacation?
A. The Isle of Fright!

Q. What did the travelers say about their group accomodations?
A. It was a hostel envirnoment!

Q. Why did the guy shoot his alarm clock during his vacation?
A. Because he just felt like killing time.

Q. Where do automobiles go to cool off during the summer?
A. A carpool.

Q. Who wrote the economy travel book, Cheapo Summer Vacations?
A. C. Moore Fourless.

Q. How do you describe somebody who loves air travel?
A. Light-hearted.

Q. What kind of race car did the chef drive?
A. A souped up vehicle!

Dog: Where do fleas go on vacation?
Another Dog: Search me...

Q. What time is it when five dogs are chasing a cat down the road?
A. Five after One.

Q. Why did the robot need a summer vacation?
A. He needed to recharge his batteries.

Q. What do paleontologists call it when a truck full of dinosaur bones has a wreck on the way to the museum?
A. A Jurassic Jam!

Q. Why doesn't a pickle like to travel? A. Because it's a jarring experience!You might be from Colorado if this guy was your last Uber driver!Q. Where do ships go when they are sick? A. The dock!

Q. What happened to the guy who broke his left arm and left leg in a vacation car accident?
A. He's alright now.

Q. What kind of car did Jesus drive?
A. A Christler.

Q. How do you describe a tense time-traveling clock?
A. All wound up!

Q. What did the orthopedic doctor become after he retired and ran a vacation resort hotel?
A. A room-atologist.

Q. What did the guy say to his Uber driver after seeing his five-star rating?
A. Way to Go!

Q. Which ride sharing app also serves breakfast?
A. Eggs Uber Easy!

Q. What do Denverites call A Line Light Rail that just doesn't work?
A. Play Station.

Q. Which kind of motor oil does Darth Vader use while tooling around the streets of Denver on vacation?
A. Sithetic.

Q. What does a houseboat turn into when it grows up?
A. A Township.

Transportation Point to Ponder: Why is mail that goes by sea called cargo, and mail that goes by land called shipment?

Q. Why did the tourists take a ride in the submarine?
A. To sea creatures.

Did you hear about the guy who wrote all his vacation jokes in all caps? HIS LAST ONE WAS WRITTEN IN PARIS.

| Travel Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | World Traveler Jokes | British Travel Jokes | Time Travel | 2 |
| Road Trip Jokes and Traffic Humor | Car Puns | Auto Mechanic Jokes | Space Travel Puns |
| Air Travel Humor and Mile High Club Jokes | Gnome Travel Jokes | Sea Trip Humor | 2 |
| Cross the Road Jokes | Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? | Sci-Fi Crossed the Road | 2 |
| Colorado Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | Denver | 2 | 3 |
| You Might Be From Colorado If... | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Tourism | Mountains | 2 | 3 | Hipsters |
| Painful Groaner Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |

PainfulPuns Home
You've gone along this far, so here's more
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moving jokes and bumpy painful puns to keep you rolling down the road:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

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| Psychic Jokes | Religion Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes | Sports Jokes | Weather Puns | Weed Jokes | Weekend Jokes |

Edible Puns, Fun with Food Bartender Puns, Bar Humor Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor
Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes! Holiday Puns, Silly Seasonal Jokes

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