What is the real reason the historic Pike's Peak Cog Railway
was shut down?
A. It was too expensive to make up cover stories about all
the Bigfoot sightings!
stoners were walking along the Pikes Peak Cog Railway. One
says, "This is a really long staircase, man!" Second stoner
replies, "I don't mind all the stairs, but the handrail
is killing me!"
Why did Denver's A Line light rail construction fall behind
A. Because they needed to get back on track.
How many times has this train derailed?
Engineer: I don't know. It's so hard to keep track.
Why do engineers like one-liner?
A. Because they're fans of monorails.
Why are railroads so angry?
A. Because traffic is always crossing them.
What do you call a train that sneezes?
A. Ah-choo choo.
Why was the train conductor fired?
A. 'Cause he had a one track mind.
Why did Amtrak fire the train engineer?
A. His work was off track.
Why did the train conductor quit?
A. Un-fare treatment by the rail company.
How did passengers from 1936 to 1973 describe a cross-country
trip taken on the Denver Zephyr?
A. Relaxing and planeless.
What's the difference between a locomotive engineer and
A. One minds the train, and the other trains the mind!
Why do hipsters like to eat lunch at Subway?
A. 'Cause it sounds so underground.
How do Denver's RTD light rail trains hear?
A. They use their engine ears!
Why was the locomotive engineer so good at his job?
A. He had lots of training.
Engineer Pick-Up Line: Hey babe,
are you a train? 'Cause I want to rail your caboose.
Conductor Pick-Up Line: Hey baby,
are you a train wreck? 'Cause I just can't take my eyes
Why was the train engineer fired?
A. Management claimed he had a one track mind. .
Which new dating site is especially for West Coast rail
workers and mass transit patrons?
A. Union Pacific.
Why do hipsters exclusively ride the subway in New York
A. Because it's so underground!
What is a twip?
A. It's what a wabbit goes on when he wides a twain!
What do Denverites call A Line Light Rail that
just doesn't work?
A. Play Station.
Why do space aliens take the El while traveling around Chicago?
A. 'Cause it's a little closer to home.
How did the genius police detectives find the missing train?
A. They followed the tracks.
Why didn't the elephant travel by train?
A. He didn't want to leave his trunk in the baggage car.
Why was the B Line train always late?
A. Because it got side-tracked.
Why can't a railroad engineer get electrocuted?
A. Because he's not a conductor.
Why did the old train engineer pass away?
A. He became de-railed.
Why was the subway construction worker quit his job?
A. Because he developed tunnel vision.