How do hypnotists travel when they go on vacation?
A. They use public trance-port-ation.
What's the difference between a bus driver and a cold?
A. A bus driver knows the stops, and a cold stops the nose.
Transportation Groan of the Day: An unfortunate guy had
a reaaly bad day. His wife was hit by a bus, and then he
lost his bus driver job. OUCH!
Ride of the Day: A guy hopped on a bus today, but the driver
told him to sit down, just like everybody else.
What happened to the blonde who tried to blow up a school
A. She burned her lips on the tailpipe.
Passenger: Does this bus run on time?
Bus Driver: No, it runs on diesel.
news reported a school bus carrying 17 children rolled over
today. Fortunately, there were only minor injuries.
Which ride sharing app also serves breakfast?
A. Eggs Uber Easy!
Which affliction do Uber and Lyft drivers suffer?
A. Car Pool Tunnel Syndrome.
Who is the worst Uber driver?
A. Walter White, 'cause he's always braking bad.
Why don't Uber drivers go to the gym?
A. 'Cause they don't Lyft.
Share Point to Ponder: If a cannibal calls Uber Eats, is
that a two-for-one food delivery deal?
Which ride share company offers riders complementary peanuts?
How hard is it to use Uber Eats to deliver Chinese food
to your picnic?
A. It's a wok in the park!
Moving Point to Ponder: If Google bought Uber, would they
change the name to Goober?
Which weather is even more destructive than raining buckets?
A. Hailing taxis.
Why did the conscientious taxi driver get fired?
A. Because he always went the extra mile.
Which kind of wine do taxi driver drink?
A. A nice Cab.
Why did the guy quit his job as a taxi driver?
A. He got fed up with everybody telling him where to go.
What do you call a nun cab driver?
A. Virgin Mobile.
How do you know you're truly a driven individual?
A. You take a cab everywhere you go.
What do you call a drunk guy who's trying to unlock his
A. A taxi!
What do you call a crabby lady taxi driver?
A. A cab bitch.