Waiter, this soup is spoiled.
Waiter: Who told you that?
Customer: A little swallow.
The sign outside says "Just Like Mother Used to Make."
Waiter: Yes sir, Mom was a terrible cook.
My lunch is talking to me.
Waiter: Yes sir, that's why I don't recommend the tongue
Why doesn't this diner have any specials?
Waiter: Seriously? Nothing about this joint is special.
Why doesn't your menu list the prices?
Waiter: They don't want to make you sick before
Doctor, I think I need glasses.
Waiter: You certainly do! This is a restaurant!
What is this fly doing in my alphabet soup?
Waiter: Learning to read?
Point to Ponder: Any cook who swears is French, or is that
just what he wants you to think?
Sir, why are you taking so long to order?
Customer: I can't decide if I want nausea, heartburn, or
angry chef felt very sheepish after he lambasted the mutton.
At least he didn't serve it with haggis.
restaurants are quite pasta oral settings.
Excuse me, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter: Yes sir, so why aren't you laughing?