Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Food is out of this world, but there's no atmosphere.   PainfulPuns.com - Edible Puns, Funny Food, Chef Humor, Java Jokes!

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Q. Which Tom Cruise film was about cooking A. A few good menus!
You might from Colorado if you will not touch Rocky Mountain Oysters, not even with a ten foot pole!

What kind of lettuce was served on the Titanic? Iceberg
A Girl Said She Recognized Me From the Vegetarian Club, But I'd Never Met Herbivore.


Fine Dining Jokes, Connoisseur Puns, Foodie Humor
Savor frou frou food puns, mouth-watering humor, gastronomy grins and fashionable food jokes.

Gourmet Jokes, Epicurean Puns, Gourmand LOLs
(Because Gourmet Chef Jokes and Sophisticated Pallet Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream For a Saucy Food Critic!)
Warning: Proceed Cautiously! Bon vivant jokes, trendy meal grins, snooty eatery laughs and crepey puns ahead.
| Gourmet Grins and Connoisseur Humor | Dinner Jokes | Lunch Laughs | Kitchen Gadget Jokes |
| Chef Jokes | Chef Tunes | Gnome Chef Jokes | Chef Come-Ons | Old Chef LOLs | Tex-Mex Jokes |
| Restaurant Jokes | Waiter Jokes | Italian Food | Pizza Jokes | Pasta Puns | Take Out Food Grins |
| Butcher Jokes | Steak Jokes | Deli Jokes | Hamburger Puns | Hot Dog Humor | BBQ Grill Jokes |

Q. Why don't Americans eat snails? A. Because they like fast food!
Did you hear about the snobby cow? A. She thought she was a cutlet above the rest!
Chimp Chef Asks: What happens when you fall in love with a French chef? A. you get buttered up!

Q. What did the gourmand food critic say about the new gourmet eatery named Escargot To Go?
A. They snail in comparison.

Q. Why aren't there any French delicacies in Davy Jones' locker?
A. Because dead men sell no snails.

Q. Why doesn't McDonald's serve escargot?
A. Snails are not fast food and nobody's got slime for that!

Today's Gourmet Restaurant Special: The conch soup was quite expensive, but the diners were willing to shell out for it.

Q. Why did the cannibal chef quit his job at the gourmet restaurant?
A. 'Cause he was fed up with the customers.

Q. What do snooty connoisseurs call French bread with a wine-like aroma?
A. Nose scones.

Q. How does a gourmet chef acquire great taste?
A. With a little seasoning.

Q. Why did the new restaurant owner invite the warehouse staff to a gourmet dinner?
A. He heard they have good pallets.

Q. Why do great gourmet chefs always use genuine butter?
A. Because then there's no maragine for error!

Gourmet Food Point to Ponder: If you heard a rumor about better butter, would you spread it?

Q. Why did the gourmet French chef quit working at the haunted restaurant?
A. Because he got the crepes.

Gourmet Restaurant Point to Ponder: Any cook who swears is French, or is that just what he wants you to think?

Chimp Chef Asks: Have you heard about Suzette? She's full of crepe!
You might be from Colorado if you highly recomment the Rocky Mountain Oysters to your visiting in-laws!
Fishy wine humor: If white wine goes with fish, what do white grapes go with? Sushi!

Q. What was the best thing the food critic could say about the new French restaurant?
A. This place gives me the crepes.

Q. Why did the French g food critic quit his job?
A. He was tired of all the crepe.

Q. What do French gourmets do when they visit Vegas?
A.They shoot crepes.

Q. Where are deceased gourmets entombed in France?
A. In a crepe-t.

Q. What did the food critic write about the gourmet restaurant?
A. This place is full of crepe.

Did you hear about the guy who died eating Rocky Mountain Oysters? The bull must have dragged him a mile! Yes, the bull was really quite testy.

Q. What gourmet treats are tourists served at the Colorado dude ranch before the main course?
A. Horse d'oeuvres.

Q. What does a manly man consider a seven-course gourmet meal?
A. A six-pack of Colorado craft beer in one hand and a hot dog in the other.

Q. What do you get if you dunk a gourmet cannabis edible in Vodka and then touch a lit match to it?
A. The Holy Spirit Flambe.

Q. What do you call it when a gourmet chef runs out of seafood for her world famous chowder?
A. A clam-ity!

Impatient Gourmand Customer: How long do I have to wait for the turtle soup?
Waiter: Well sir, you do realize turtles are really slow...

Q. Which trendy gourmet coffee drink includes minuscule bits of flaky, transparent minerals?
A. Mica mocha.

Q. What do you call it when you walk into a gourmet coffee house you're sure you've been to before?
A. Deja Brew!

Monster Chef Asks: What do you call a chef who won't try dishes made by other chefs? A. Full of himself!
Wine Joke: What is a great name for a sommelier? A. Merl O. Daily
Q. What did the head chef say when the rookie burned the dessert? A. Is that a crime brulee?

Q. What did the snooty gourmet chef do when none of the restaurant's meals impressed him?
A. He made a last dish effort.

The guy who recommended this gourmet restaurant to us had no reservations.

Customer at Gourmet Restaurant: Why doesn't your menu list the prices?
Waiter: They don't want to make you sick before you've eaten.

Q. How much did the crabby food critic tip the waiter at the new gourmet restaurant?
A. Two cents.

Customer: Waiter, there's a fly in my wine!
Waiter: Yes ma'am, you asked for a house red with a little body in it.

Q. What do sommeliers think about Painful wine Puns?
A. They're grape. In fact, they are absolutely de-vine!

Q. Which dog breed is preferred by the sommelier?
A. Bordeaux Collie.

Q. What do you call the connoisseur who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A. A Sherry Picker.

Customer: What is the name of the dessert with espresso over ice cream? Italian Restaurant
Waiter: Affogato.
Customer: Yeah, I can't think of its name, either...

French Chef Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, you're twice as sweet as Creme Brulee, and a lot less drippy.

Q. How can you tell if a gourmet French restaurant is haunted?
A. It gives you the crepes.

Old food critics never die, they just lose their sense of taste.

Wine Humor: Women are like fine wine. They get more expensive with age!
Q. How did the hipster burn his tongue eating pizza? A. He ate it before it was cool!
Q. What do you call a chicken with lettuce in her eye? A. Chicken Caesar Salad!

Q. What is one clue you're a wine snob?
A. You can spell connoisseur without having to autocorrect it.

Q. Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
A. Because wine snobs hate them!

Q. How do wine lovers hear about the lastest connoisseur vintage?
A. Through the grapevine.

Q. Where do wine connoisseurs lock up their vino collection?
A. In a wine cabernet.

Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder: Did Marilyn drink Merlot?

Q. How do you make gourmet cheese?
A. Ewe's milk!

Q. What did the Italian gourmet chef say when diners asked for more of his primo corn dish?
A. There's polenta more where that came from.

Q. What does the chef say when a gourmet meal he makes completely satisfies a tyrannical ruler?
A. It hit despot.

Q. Why did the barista quit her job at the chic gourmet coffee house?
A. It just wasn't her cup of tea.

Q. Why was the guy fired from his job at the gourmet coffee company?
A. The boss said he had no filter.

Gourmet Dining Wisdom of the Day: Never trust a skinny chef!

Customer: Waiter, there's a small slug in this salad.
Waiter: Sorry sir, would you like me to get you a larger one?

Q. Which herb does a gourmet pirate chef add to his meals?
A. A few sprigs of paRRRsley.

Q. What do gourmets call a really bad review of a crepe restaurant?
A. A pan.

Snooty Customer: Do you have frog legs?
Waiter: Yes, sir.
Customer: We'll hop on over here and bring me a grilled cheese sandwich.

Snooty Customer: My lunch is talking to me.
Waiter: Yes sir, that's why I don't recommend the tongue sandwich.

| Gourmet Grins | Dinner Jokes | Lunch Puns | Kitchen Gadget Jokes | Nut Jokes | Old Chef LOLs |
| Chef Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Chef Tunes | Gnome Chef Jokes | Chef Come-Ons | Foodie Humor |
| Restaurant Jokes | 2 | 3 | Waiter | Italian Food | 2 | 3 | Pizza Jokes | Pasta | Take Out Food |
| Butcher Jokes | Steak Jokes | Beef Jokes | 2 | Pork Jokes | Poultry Puns | BBQ Grill Jokes |
| Deli Jokes | Burger Puns | 2 | 3 | Hot Dog LOLs | Ketchup Jokes, Mustard Puns | Herb | Soup |
| Carrot Jokes | Corn | Peppers | Pickle Puns | 2 | 3 | Potato Puns | Salad | Tomato | Veggies |
| Colorado Cuisine | Tex-Mex Jokes | Seafood Puns | Pirate Eats | Cop Cuisine | Breakfast Jokes |
| Dessert Jokes | 2 | Pie Puns | Baker | 2 | Bread | Beverage | Coffee | 2 | Soda | Beer | Wine |
| Cookie Candy Puns | Ice Cream | Milk | Butter | Cheese Jokes | Cheese Gnomes | Egg Jokes |
| Fruit Humor | 2 | 3 | Apple Jokes | Banana Funs | 2 | 3 | Lemon | Orange Puns | Strawberry |
| Snack Jokes | Halloween Treats | Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Sci-Fi Food Jokes | Green Munchies |
| Diet Puns | Gnome Diet | Vegetarian, Vegan Puns | Fitness Dieting Jokes | 2 | Grocery Store |

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