Crow Chef Asks. What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? A. Every morning, you rise and shine!   PainfulPuns.com - Edible Puns, Funny Food, Chef Humor, Java Jokes!

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Q. What would happen if pigs cuold fly? A. The price of bacon would skyrocket!
Food Pun: A Boiled Egg is Hard to Beat
Did you hear about the lost sausage? It was the missing link.
Q. what did the Dalek say to the omelet? A. Eggsterminate!
Ape Chef Asks: Did you hear about the dominatrix chef? She beats the eggs and whips the cream!
Q. If a seagull flies over the sea, what flies over the bay? A. A Bagel!
Egg Says: Happy Fried Day!
Q. What do you get if a potato and a chicken bump into each other? A. Yam and Eggs!
Q. What goes up white, but comes down yellow and white? A. An Egg

 


Breakfast Jokes, Fried Egg Puns, Waffle Humor
IHOP along with flaky cereal jokes, waffle humor, pancake puns and hearty breakfast toasts.

Toast Jokes, Breakfast Humor, Pancake Puns
('Cause Waffling Jokes, Poached Egg Humor, and Crepe Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream at a Pancake House!)
Warning: Proceed Carefully! Scrambled egg jokes, toast humor, breakfast ceral LOLs and crepe-y puns ahead.
| Breakfast Jokes | Cop Cuisine | Colorado Dining | Tex-Mex Jokes | Seafood Puns | Pirate Eats |
| Egg Jokes | Milk | Butter | Cheese Jokes | Cheese Gnomes | Ice Cream | Cookie Candy Puns |
| Baker Jokes | 2 | Bread | Dessert Puns | 2 | Beverage | Coffee | 2 | Soda Funny | Beer | Wine |
| Fruit Humor | 2 | 3 | Apple Jokes | Banana Funs | 2 | 3 | Lemon | Orange Puns | Strawberry |

Food Pun: Every morning, I think I'll make pancakes, but I keep Waffling.I ate a Denver omlette for breakfast and now I'm feeling a bit peckish!Mooving Banana Joke: How are cereal bananas like cows? A. Both get milked every morning!

Q. What is the best way to serve a stack of puncakes?
A. Syruptitiously.

Q. How much do Waffle House patrons enjoy the chef's trendy new all-you-can eat buffet?
A. To the fullest.

Q. How does a penguin chef make pancakes?
A. He uses his flippers.

Waffle House Pick Up Line: How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?

Q. Why can't you tease egg whites?
A. Because they can't take a yoke!

Q. How do Painful Punsters prefer their eggs cooked up?
A. Funny side up!

Today's Breakfast Groan: I had a problem with my boiled egg this morning, but I've cracked it now.

IHOP Chef Chat Up Line: Babe, omelette you in on a my big secret...

Did you hear the joke about oatmeal? It's not mush of a laugh.

Q. Which breakfast cereal features bites shaped like little boats?
A. Fruit Sloops.

Q. Why did the pothead plant Cheerios?
A. He thought they were donut seeds.

Morning Meal Pont to Ponder: Is eating breakfast in front of the TV at the same time every day actually breakfast cereal?

Q. What do pirates like to put on their toast? A. Jelly Roger!Chef Pun: Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes!Lush Humor: Can you drink alcohol for breakfast? Wine not?

Q. What did one slice of bread say to the other when he noticed there was butter and jelly on the table?
A. I guess we're toast.

Q. Why doesn't bread like hot weather?
A. Because it's too toasty!

Q. Why did toast break up with margarine?
A. For a butter lover.

Q. What does a policeman hate on his morning toast?
A. Traffic Jam.

Q What did the skeleton order for breakfast at IHOP?
A.. Boo-berry pancakes.

Customer: Waiter, will the pancakes be long?
IHOP Waiter: No sir, they'll be round.

Customer: Bring me a blintz.
IHOP Waiter: Yes sir, with pleasure!
Customer: NO, with cheese!

Did you hear about the waiter who was 6'8" tall? He handled all the tall stack pancake orders at IHOP.

Vintage Trivia: A meal without wine is called breakfast.

Q. What does the up-and-coming baker call his new bread with a wine-like aroma?
A. Nose Scones.

Waffle House Customer: I cannot eat this pancake breakfast!
Waiter: Why not? Your banana pancakes and links look okay to me.
Customer: Because you didn't bring me a fork!

Q. What do you get if a pig and a chicken bump into each other? A. Ham and Eggs!Q. What do snowment eat for breakfast? A. Frosted Flakes!Crusty, ill-tempered baker was a scone's throw from becoming toast.

Ham and Eggs walk into a bar before noon. Bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve breakfast here."

Q. What does a chicken order on her breakfast pizza?
A. Eggs-tra Cheese!

Q. What do you call a mischievious Easter egg?
A. A practical yolker!

Customer: There's a fly drowning in my bowl of breakfast cereal!
Waiter: Just throw him a Cheerio; those make great life preservers.

Customer: A fly is in my bowl of Raisin Bran.
Diner Waiter: Couldn't be, sir. The chef used them all in the raisin bread.

Q. How does a WWE wrestler like his eggs?
A. Raw!

Toasted Thought of the Day: If we got rid of all the margarine and oleo, the world would be a butter place.

Hot and Toasty Pick-Up Line: Things would be a lot butter if you just come over here. I'm bready for you!

Q. How can you tell it's too hot in the henhouse?
A. The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.

Gorilla Chef Asks: Did you hear about the mean sadistic chef? He bestas the eggs and whips the cream!One day, you're the best thing since sliced bread. The next, you're toast!Scrambling for an egg joke, but just can't seem to whip one up. Guess I'm fried?

Q. What does Shrek always like to eat for breakfast?
A. Eggs Ogre Easy!

Q. How does a pessimist always order his eggs?
A. Sunny Side Down.

Q. How are scrambled eggs like a losing Olympian?
A. They've both been beaten.

Q. Why are toasted bread jokes always so funny?
A. 'Cause they never get mold.

Q. What did the toaster say to the two slices of bread?
A. I loaf you so much!

Funny Breakfast Fact of the Day: The hardness of the butter is directly proportional to the softness of the toast.

Q. Why shouldn't you tell an egg a joke?
A. Because it might crack up.

Q. What is the best way to serve eggs on Halloween?
A. Deviled!

Waiter: These are the freshest eggs we've had all year.
Customer: I'd prefer eggs that haven't been around that long...

Q. Where does the one-legged waitress work? A. At IHOP!Bakers DO earn the majority of their income in the morning, making most of their dough at yeast by a leaven o'clock.Q. What do you get if you cross a pig and a centipede? A. Bacon and Legs!

Q. How do monsters like their eggs?
A. Terror-fried!

Q. How did the egg win the race?
A. It really scrambled!

Q. What does a lost, disoriented, and mixed up hen lay?
A. Scrambled eggs.

Q. What did the raccoons do after they raided the henhouse?
A. They enjoyed their poached eggs.

A guy went to a big brnch buffet with a taxidermist friend. By noon, he was stuffed!

When asked about rumors he owned a bakery, Shakespeare replied, "It's much a dough about muffin!"

Q. Which baker wrote the book, Bakin' Up Sweet Breakfast Recipes?
A. Bear E. Muffin.

Q. What do witch chefs put on their bagels?
A. Scream cheese.

Q. Who did not write the book, Healthy Breakfast Bites?
A. Chris P. Bacon.

Q. What do you get if you cross a chicken and a dog?
A. Pooched Eggs!

Q. What do you get when a pig and a chicken have a high-speed collision?
A. Ham and eggs.

Q. Where do Martians get their eggs?
A. From little green hens.

A baker stopped making donuts because he got tired of the hole thing!Scrambling for an egg joke, but I can't seem to whip one up.My friend's bakery burned down. Now his business is toast.

Q. Which kind of breakfst eatery always merits 24-hour police protection?
A. Donut shops.

Q. What do prisoners in Denver County lockup eat for breakfast?
A. Jail-y Donuts.

Officer: Do you know why I stopped you?
Blonde: Because I didn't pull out of the donut shop too fast?

Q. What do cops call it when they're called out to the local donut bakery?
A. Bread Alert!

You know, walking on eggshells around vegans will only make it worse...

Q. How are golf balls like eggs?
A. They're white, sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy more.

Customer: There's a fly in my scrambled eggs!
Waiter: Force of habit, sir. Our chef used to be a tailor.

Q. What do demon chickens lay?
A. Deviled eggs.

Q. What do space aliens eat for breakfast?
A. Nothing. They prefer to wait for launch!

Q. What's it called ii you burn your breakfast toast?
A. Loafing it too much!

Q. What does a bakery employee have to do when cutting bread for breakfast toast ahead of time?
A. He needs to use pre-slice measurements.

Q. What did the chicken say to the piece of toast?
A. Just get bready to c-rumble!

Q. Why did the French chef quit working at the haunted restaurant?
A. Because he got the crepes.

| Breakfast Jokes | Cop Cuisine | Colorado Dining | Tex-Mex Jokes | Seafood Puns | Pirate Eats |
| Egg Jokes | Milk | Butter | Cheese Jokes | Cheese Gnomes | Ice Cream | Cookie Candy Puns |
| Baker Jokes | 2 | Bread | Dessert Puns | 2 | Beverage | Coffee | 2 | Soda Funny | Beer | Wine |
| Fruit Humor | 2 | 3 | Apple Jokes | Banana Funs | 2 | 3 | Lemon | Orange Puns | Strawberry |
| Chef Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Chef Tunes | Gnome Chef Jokes | Chef Come-Ons | Foodie Humor |
| Restaurant Jokes | 2 | 3 | Italian Food | 2 | 3 | Pizza Jokes | Pasta Puns | Take Out Food |
| Butcher Jokes | Steak Jokes | Beef Jokes | 2 | Pork Jokes | Poultry Puns | BBQ Grill Jokes |
| Deli Jokes | Burger Puns | 2 | 3 | Hot Dog LOLs | Ketchup Jokes, Mustard Puns | Herb | Soup |
| Carrot Jokes | Peppers | Pickle Puns | 2 | 3 | Potato Puns | Salad | Tomato Jokes | Veggies |
| Snack Jokes | Halloween Treats | Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Sci-Fi Food Jokes | Green Munchies |
| Diet Puns | Gnome Diet Jokes | Vegetarian Jokes, Vegan Puns | Fitness and Dieting Jokes | 2 |

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You've mourned along this far, so brunch on even more fried humor,
toasty jokes, and crepe-y painful puns that'll egg you on all day long:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Bacteria Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Date Jokes | Flower Jokes | Friday Puns | Haunted House Jokes | Hen Puns |
| Jokes About Jokes | Man Jokes | Mars Jokes | Pirate Jokes | Police Puns | Psychic Jokes | Religion Jokes |
| Road Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Sports Jokes | Underwear Jokes | Weather Jokes | Yellow Jokes |

Clucking Funny Farm Animal PunsPainful Jokes & Groaner Puns Bartender Puns, Bar Humor
Garden Puns, Green GroanersPet Puns + Jokes = Funny Pet Peeves Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

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