A vegetarian, meat eater, and cannibal go out to lunch. The veg orders a salad, and the meathead orders a burger. But, the cannibal told the waiter, "I think I'll just wait 'til they're done."

Vegan Diet Point to Ponder: Can a vegan eat chick peas?

Q. What did the vegan witch use in her magic potions?
A. Ear of corn and eye of potato.

Did you hear about the vegan zombie? He ended up in the insane asylum where he only ate vegetables.

I'm on a vegan diet. They taste great!

Q. How do you make vegan meat pot pie?
A. For the crust, use Colorado canna-butter. It's harder to find the vegan for the filling...

Vegan Fact or Fiction? Can a vegan eat milkweed?

Did you know Bruce Lee has a vegetarian brother? His name is Brocco Lee.

Q. What do you call a militant vegan?
A. Lactose Intolerant!

Q. What did the press call the case brought to trial by a vegan?
A. A plant-based beef.

Vegan Question of the Day: Can a vegan eat eggplant?

Meatless Point to Ponder: Can a strictly vegetarian businessman bring home the bacon?

Q. Why do people kill animals?
A. Fur convenience steak.

Q. How can you tell if a witch is vegan?
A. There aren't any toads or eye of newt in her potions.

Q. What is it called when a vegetarian reverts to eating meat again?
A. Losing one's veg-inity!

Q. What do you call a dumb omnivore?
A. A Meathead!

Q. How did the food critic describe manna from above?
A. It's Heavenly!

Vegetarian Point to Ponder: Will McDonald's beef up their menu with a new veggie burger?

Q. Why did the tofu cross the road?
A. To prove it wasn't chicken!

Q. What do vegetarians call an occasion for burping?
A. A Tupperware party!

Save a cow. Eat a vegetarian!

Did you know 9 out of 10 cannibals agree that vegetarians taste better?

1 out of 10 zombies think vegans taste best.

10 out of 10 blonde zombies don't even think about it...

Wannabe Vegan Point to Ponder: Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Q. What did the vegetarian say to the new vegetarian in the hood?
A. We have to stop meating like this.

You know, walking on eggshells around vegans will only make it worse...

Q. What do vegan zombies say?
A. Graaaaaaains! Graaaaaaains!

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I don't love veggies that way!

Q. What's a vegan drummer's fave veggie?
A. Beets.

Meatless Point to Ponder: Can beans be used to beef up vegetarian meals?

Q. What do you call a vegan guy who likes to pleasure himself?
A. A non-dairy creamer.

Meatless Diet Point to Ponder: Do cannibals on a healthy diet prefer vegans or vegetarians?

Customer: Do you serve vegans here?
Waiter: Yes, of course. How would you like them prepared?

Tasty Point to Ponder: If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

Q. Which vegetarian dish is made from a few spuds of similar shape and color?
A. Matched Potatoes.

Q. What is the best way to keep milk fresh?
A. Leave it in the cow.

Q. What did the vegetarian spy say to the other?
A. We have to stop meating like this!

Q. What do you call a vegetarian's formal speech about pungent bulbs?
A. A state of the onion address.

Did you hear about the vegan who had transgender surgery? Turns out that he was a herbefore.

Did you hear about the healthy, diet-conscious zombie horde? They only eat the brains of vegans!

Q. Which bumper sticker could get you killed in Portland, OR?
A. I luv animals, they taste so good.

Q. Why don't vegans eat chickens?
A. Because they have eggs in them!

Did you hear about the guy who isn't a vegetarian because he loves animals? No, it's because he hates vegetables!

Q. What do vegans and vampires have in common?
A. They don't eat at stake houses.

Q. What do you call a militant vegan?
A. Lactose intolerant.

Q. How did the vegan couple feel about making their own pulp-free orange juice?
A. It was a real strain.

Q. Why is it so hard to be the photographer at a vegan wedding?
A. Nobody smiles when you ask them to say, "Cheese."

Vegan: Do you know what veganism is?
Carnivore: Huh?!?
Vegan: It means no milk and no eggs.
Carnivore: Then how do you bread your steak?

Q. What do you call a vegan post-punk band?
A. Soy Division.

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