Q. Why did the finicy vegan chef quit? A. they cut his celery!   PainfulPuns.com - Edible Puns, Funny Food, Chef Humor, Java Jokes!

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A Girl Said She Recognized Me From the Vegetarian Club, But I'd Never Met Herbivore.
Q. What is a chef's favorite dystopian movie? A. The Hunger Games!
Q. How do you murder a salad? A. Go for the carrot-id artery!
Q. When will the trail mix have enough money to buy a map? A. When the bananas chip in!
Q. What does a cabbage outlaw have? A. A price on its head!

 


Vegetarian Humor, Food Puns, Fun with Vegans?
Nibble on nutritious green jokes, puns with no meat, vegan LOLs and herbivore humor.

Vegan Jokes, Meatless Puns, Vegetarian Laughs
(Because Vegan Diet Food Fight Rules Could Never Be Mainstream Enough, Not Even for Vegetarians!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Risk! Veggie-based diet jokes may cause drug companies to lose money!
| Funny Food Jokes, Foodie Humor, Tasty Culinary Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
| Vegetarian Jokes, Vegan Puns | Diet Puns | Gnome Diet Jokes | Fitness and Dieting Jokes | 2 |
| Carrot Jokes | Pickle Puns | 2 | 3 | Peppers | Potato Puns | Salad Jokes | Tomato Jokes | Veggie |
| Fruit Humor | 2 | 3 | Apple Jokes | Banana Funs | 2 | 3 | Lemon | Orange Puns | Strawberry |
| Snack Jokes | Halloween Treats | Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Sci-Fi Food Jokes | Green Munchies |

Munster Chef Asks: What do you call a fake noodle? A. An impasta!ET Chef Says: "No thanks, I'm a vegetarian" is a fun thing to say when somebody hands you their baby!Cow Chef Asks: What kind of music do chefs like to listen to? Wok N Roll!

A vegetarian, meat eater, and cannibal go out to lunch. The veg orders a salad, and the meathead orders a burger. But, the cannibal told the waiter, "I think I'll just wait 'til they're done."

Vegan Diet Point to Ponder: Can a vegan eat chick peas?

Did you hear about the vegan zombie? He ended up in the insane asylum where he only ate vegetables.

I'm on a vegan diet. They taste great!

Vegan Fact or Fiction? Can a vegan eat milkweed?

Did you know Bruce Lee has a vegetarian brother? His name is Brocco Lee.

Q. What do you call a militant vegan?
A. Lactose Intolerant!

Vegan Question of the Day: Can a vegan eat eggplant?

Gorilla Chef Asks: Did you hear about the mean sadistic chef? He bestas the eggs and whips the cream!Q. What did Darth Vader say when he visited a vegan restaurant? A. I find your lack of steak disturbing!Gorilla Chef Asks: What runs but doesn't get anywhere? A. A refrigerator!

Meatless Point to Ponder: Can a strictly vegetarian businessman bring home the bacon?

Q. Why do people kill animals?
A. Fur convenience steak.

Q. How can you tell if a witch is vegan?
A. There aren't any toads or eye of newt in her potions.

Q. What is it called when a vegetarian reverts to eating meat again?
A. Losing one's veg-inity!

Q. What do you call a dumb omnivore?
A. A Meathead!

Q. How did the food critic describe manna from above?
A. It's Heavenly!

Vegetarian Point to Ponder: Will McDonald's beef up their menu with a new veggie burger?

Q. Why did the tofu cross the road?
A. To prove it wasn't chicken!

Q. What do vegetarians call an occasion for burping?
A. A Tupperware party!

ET Chef Asks: Why did the blonde chef shave the peaches? A. Because the recipe called for nectarines!Cow Chef Says: Spoiler Alert! The milk has been in the fridge for three weeks!Crow  Chef Asks: Which fruit do you eat when you're sad? A. Blueberries!

Save a cow. Eat a vegetarian!

Did you know 9 out of 10 cannibals agree that vegetarians taste better?

1 out of 10 zombies think vegans taste best.

10 out of 10 blonde zombies don't even think about it...

Wannabe Vegan Point to Ponder: Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Q. What did the vegetarian say to the new vegetarian in the hood?
A. We have to stop meating like this.

You know, walking on eggshells around vegans will only make it worse...

Q. What do vegan zombies say?
A. Graaaaaaains! Graaaaaaains!

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I don't love veggies that way!

Q. What's a vegan drummer's fave veggie?
A. Beets.

Gorilla Chef Says: Preparing for the Labor Day cookout was a Lot of Work!Q. What do you call a potato that has turned to the Dark Side? A. Vader Tots!After rubbing seasonings on the Thanksgiving turkey, the chef had some spare thyme on her hands!

Meatless Point to Ponder: Can beans be used to beef up vegetarian meals?

Q. What do you call a vegan guy who likes to pleasure himself?
A. A non-dairy creamer.

Meatless Diet Point to Ponder: Do cannibals on a healthy diet prefer vegans or vegetarians?

Customer: Do you serve vegans here?
Waiter: Yes, of course. How would you like them prepared?

Tasty Point to Ponder: If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

Q. Which vegetarian dish is made from a few spuds of similar shape and color?
A. Matched Potatoes.

Q. What is the best way to keep milk fresh?
A. Leave it in the cow.

Q. What did the vegetarian spy say to the other?
A. We have to stop meating like this!

Q. What do you call a vegetarian's formal speech about pungent bulbs?
A. A state of the onion address.

ET Chef Says: I ordered 2000 pounds of Chinese soup. It was Won Ton.Q. Which Tom Cruise film was about cooking A. A few good menus!Et Chef Asks: What do you call it when you're served leftover rolls? A. Recycle buns!

Did you hear about the vegan who had transgender surgery? Turns out that he was a herbefore.

Did you hear about the healthy, diet-conscious zombie horde? They only eat the brains of vegans!

Q. Which bumper sticker could get you killed in Portland, OR?
A. I luv animals, they taste so good.

Did you hear about the guy who isn't a vegetarian because he loves animals? No, it's because he hates vegetables!

Q. What do vegans and vampires have in common?
A. They don't eat at stake houses.

Q. What do you call a militant vegan?
A. Lactose intolerant.

Vegan: Do you know what veganism is?
Carnivore: Huh?!?
Vegan: It means no milk and no eggs.
Carnivore: Then how do you bread your steak?

Q. What do you call a vegan post-punk band?
A. Soy Division.

Q. Why don't vegans eat chickens?
A. Because they have eggs in them!

| Funny Food Jokes, Foodie Humor, Tasty Culinary Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
| Chef Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Chef Tunes, Culinary Beats | Gnome Chef Jokes | Chef Come-Ons |
| Italian Food Puns | 2 | 3 | Pasta Puns | Restaurant Jokes | 2 | 3 | Pirate Cuisine | Seafood Puns |
| Colorado Cuisine | Tex-Mex Jokes | BBQ | Butcher Jokes | Beef Jokes | 2 | Pork | Poultry |
| Deli Jokes | Burger Puns | 2 | 3 | Hot Dog LOLs | Ketchup Jokes, Mustard Puns | Herb | Soup |
| Egg Jokes | Milk | Butter | Cheese Jokes | Cheese Gnomes | Ice Cream | Cookie Candy Puns |
| Carrot Jokes | Peppers | Pickle Puns | 2 | 3 | Potato Puns | Salad | Tomato Jokes | Veggies |
| Fruit Humor | 2 | 3 | Apple Jokes | Banana Funs | 2 | 3 | Lemon | Orange Puns | Strawberry |
| Baker Jokes | 2 | Bread | Dessert Puns | 2 | Beverage | Coffee | 2 | Soda Funny | Beer | Wine |
| Snack Jokes | Halloween Treats | Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Sci-Fi Food Jokes | Green Munchies |
| Diet Puns | Gnome Diet Jokes | Vegetarian Jokes, Vegan Puns | Fitness and Dieting Jokes | 2 |


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You're still at this laugh buffet, so here's even more healthy humor,
crisp jokes, green groaners, and fresh painful puns that are soy funny:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

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| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Humor | Sports Jokes | Tech Gadget Jokes | Travel Jokes | UFO Jokes | Weed Jokes |

Garden Puns, Green Groaners Bartender Puns, Bar Humor Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns
Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns Work Humor, Joking on the JobFrightful Puns, Scary Jokes

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