Pasta Jokes.

Q.
What did the parmesan say when it broke up with the mozzarella?

A. Sorry, but I'm just too mature for you.

Q.
What happened after a chef was murdered by being boiled
to death in an industrial pasta cooker?

A. Police are still trying to al dente-fy a suspect.

Q.
How do you know if an Italian chef loves you?

A. He steals a pizza your heart.

Q.
What do you call a spray that eliminates pasta sauce from
your tie?

A. Pesto-cide.

Pizza
jokes: They're all about delivery.

Q.
What do you call the formal study of pasta?

A. Linguini-istics.

Q.
What did the pizza say to the gorgeous topping?

A. I never sausage a beautiful smile.

Yes,
I'm into fitness. Fitness this whole pizza
into my mouth.

Square
box, round pizza, triangular slices? I'm so confused!

Q.
Why is car insurance so expensive for pasta chefs?

A. Because they have a drive to make everything al dente.

Q.
Which kind of pasta do you want to keep off your face?

A. Ziti.

Q.
Where do pepperonis like to go on vacation?

A. The Leaning Tower of Pizza!

Q.
Which kind of pasta sauce is made out of sea breeze?

A. Marine-aira.

Q.
What might happen if you spill a bowl of alphabet pasta?

A. That could spell disaster.

Customer:
Will my pizza be long? Waiter: No sir, it will be round.

Q.
Why did everybody think the pasta was flirting?

A. Because it was so saucy.

Q.
Which kind of dog did the pasta chef own?

A. A Labra-Noodle.

Q.
What do you call a person who doesn't like pizza?

A. A weird-dough!

Q.
What does an aardvark like on his pizza?

A. Ant-chovies!

Q.
What is a locksmith's favorite pasta?

A. Gnocchi.

Q.
What topping do dogs like on their pizzas?

A. Pupperoni!

My
Hawaiian pizza with pineapple and ham was burned. They really
need to cook it at aloha temperature!

Q.
Which brand of pasta sauce has a bun in the oven?

A. Prego.

Q.
How did the Italian chef get lost?

A. He drove right pasta the turnoff.

You
said you hate pizza? DigiorNO you didn't!

Q.
How much water should you use to properly cook pasta?

A. A quart orzo.

Q.
What kind of pizza do you order on Christmas eve?

A. Cheeses Crust.

Q.
How can you get a jazz musician off your front porch?

A. Pay him for the pizza.

Q.
How much does the finest item on the Italian restaurant's
menu cost?

A. A pretty penne.

Q.
How do you fix a broken pizza?

A. With tomato paste.

Q.
What is the difference between a pizza and these pizza puns?

A. These pizza puns can't be topped!

Q.
What do you call fake fettucini?

A. An impasta!

Q.
Why did the crusty old Italian chef open a pizzeria?

A. He heard the dough was good.

Q.
What do you call a perverse urge to enjoy a certain pasta
dish over and over again?

A. A fetish-ini.

Q.
Which kind of pasta is the saddest when it's set aside?

A. Cannelloni.