Banana Riddle: Q. Why don't bananas snore when they sleep? A. So they don't wake the rest of the bunch!   PainfulPuns.com - Edible Puns, Funny Food, Chef Humor, Java Jokes!

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Chimp asks: What kind of key opens a banana? A. A monkey!
Q. What is a vampire's favorite fruit? A. A Nectarine!
Fruity Chemistry Joke: What did a science teacher say Ba + Na2 is? A. Banana!
Q. Why do Daleks eat apples? A. Because an apple a day keeps the Doctor away!

 


Fruity Puns, Ripe Fruit Jokes, Juicy Laughs
Harvest a bounty of juicy fruit jokes, grating puns, and ripe humor you'll find apple-ing.

Funny Fruit Puns, Fruity Humor, Fruit Jokes
(Because Non-GMO Fruit Fights Could Never Be TOO Mainstream in the Produce Aisle or Farmer's Market!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Risk! Over-ripe humor may cause sticky fingers, seedy smiles, and fruit flies.
| Ripe Fruit Humor | 2 | 3 | Apple Jokes | Banana Funs | 2 | 3 | Lemon Jokes | Orange Puns |
| Juicy Strawberry Jokes | Baker Puns and Bakery Jokes | 2 | Sweet Dessert Puns | 2 |
| Beverage Humor | Coffee Jokes | 2 | Soda Funny Puns | Beer Jokes | Wine Lover Laughs |

Q. What did Granny Smith call her grandon? A. The apple of her eye!Q. When do you go at red and stop at green? A. When you're eating a watermelonQ. Why do bananas do so well on the dating scene? A. Because they have appeal!

Q. What do you get if you cross a jogger and an apple?
A. Puff pastry!

Q. Which dessert is a king's favorite?
A. Apple pie ala moat.

Q. Which kind of fruit has a short temper?
A. A crab apple.

Did you miss that one on the state driver's license written exam, too?

Q. How did the watermelon farmer feel after getting a blue ribbon at the county fair?
A. Like a melon bucks!

Q. How do you fix a broken fruit garden?
A. With a strawberry patch.

Q. Why did the banana go out with a lemon?
A. Because it couldn't find a date.

Q. Where do bananas go to learn to be sweet?
A. Sundae School.

Q. Which kind of key opens a banana?
A. A monkey!

Q. Why don't oranges do well in school? A. Only orange juice can concentrate!Q. What is Batman's favorite drink? A. Fruit punch!Q. Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? A. Because They Cantaloupe!

Q. Where do plastic citrus fruit live?
A. Orange County!

Q. Which kind of citrus fruit do sailors like best?
A. Navel oranges!

Q. What did the bully do to the orange?
A. Beat him to a pulp.

Q. Which kind of fruit teases you a lot?
A. Ba na-na-na-na.

Q. Why did the melon go out with a fig?
A. He couldn't find a date.

Q. What crime was the watermelon thief convicted of?
A. Melony Theft.

Q. What do you call strawberries playing the guitar? A. jam session!Q. What do you call fruit that commits egregious crimes? A. A Water-FelonWhy did the lemon stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice!

Q. Why didn't anybody ask the strawberry to the prom?
A. It was past her sell by date.

Q. Where did Paul McCartney get his favorite fruit?
A. Strawberry Fields.

Q. Which kind of melon can change colors at will?
A. A Chamelon!

Q. Which school subject is the fruitiest?
A. History, because it's full of dates.

Q. Why did the lemon hide from the bully?
A. Because it was yellow.

Q. Why did the guy lose his job at the lemon ade company?
A. He just couldn't concentrate!

Q. Why do lemons wear suntan lotion? A. Because they peel!Q. What's worse than finidin half a worm in an apple? A. Spitting out the ohter half!Q. Why did the lemon fail its driving test? A. It kept peeling out!

Q. How do you make a lemon drop?
A. Hold it up high, and then let go.

A lemon walks into a bar. Bartender looks him over and says, "You know, I like you. You've got a lot of a peel."

Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted!

Q. What's inside an apple that is an avid reader?
A. A bookworm!

Q. Who makes the best apple pies?
A. Granny Smith.

Q. How did the investor know Apple stock would go up?
A. He had in cider information!

Q. Why did the lemon stop in the middle of the road?
A. It ran out of juice!

Q. How can you help an injured citrus fruit?
A. Give it a little lemon aid.

Q. Why do citrus fruits dislike algebra?
A. Because they always compare apples to oranges.

Q. What do you call a strawberry that uses foul language? A. Berry rude!Happy Blues Day!Q. What do you call a sad strawberry? A. Blue Berry

Q. What did the woman say to her dog, Barry, after he dug up her fruit patch?
A. "That's the last straw, Barry!"

Went to the grocery store today for lemons and apples, but they didn't have any. It was a fruitless trip!

Q. Why did the single strawberry go out with a fig?
A. It couldn't find a date.

| Fruit Humor | 2 | 3 | Apple Jokes | Banana Funs | 2 | 3 | Lemon | Orange Puns | Strawberry |
| Baker Jokes | 2 | Dessert Puns | 2 | Beverage Humor | Coffee | 2 | Soda Funny | Beer | Wine |
| Chef Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Chef Tunes | Gnome Chef Jokes | Chef Come-Ons | Foodie Humor |
| Italian Food | 2 | 3 | Pasta Puns | Restaurant Jokes | 2 | 3 | Pirate Cuisine | Seafood Puns |
| Butcher Jokes | Beef Jokes | 2 | Pork Puns | Poultry | Colorado Cuisine | Tex-Mex Jokes | BBQ |
| Deli Jokes | Burger Puns | 2 | 3 | Hot Dog LOLs | Ketchup Jokes, Mustard Puns | Herb | Soup |
| Egg Jokes | Milk | Butter | Cheese Jokes | Cheese Gnomes | Ice Cream | Cookie Candy Puns |
| Carrot Jokes | Peppers | Pickle Puns | 2 | 3 | Potato Puns | Salad | Tomato Jokes | Veggies |
| Snack Jokes | Halloween Treats | Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Sci-Fi Food Jokes | Green Munchies |
| Diet Puns | Gnome Diet Jokes | Vegetarian Jokes, Vegan Puns | Fitness and Dieting Jokes | 2 |


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