Philosophy Failure: The overweight gnome accepted the fact
that being cremated is the only way he'll ever have a smokin'
Why did the gnome on fitness running routine fail, even
though he ran twice today?
A. First, he ran out to get beer and tacos, then he had
to run to the restroom.
Gnome Workout Wisdom: Never attempt to do squats on Taco
has an inflated ego, yes, but he's not a prick because that
would be asinine.
What happened after the desert gnome went on a fad diet
and only ate prickly pears?
A. Now he's only eating foods with sorghums.
Weight Loss Factoid of the Day: Dieting is not a piece of
Why did the gnome bodybuilder go to the hospital?
A. Somebody told him he was cut!
How did the gnome lose weight on the Dr. Doolittle Diet?
A. 'Cause he talked to the food instead of eating it.
Fitness Point to Ponder: If you change the color of your
food, are you on a dye-it?
Diet and Exercise Tip of the Day: The best reducing exercise
is to shake the head violently from side to side when offered
a second helping.