Troll Trivia: Gnomes prefer to study instead of being studied.

Q. Why are gnomes so good at math?
A. Because it's the little things that count.

Q. How did the garden gnome become an expert archer?
A. He was elf-taught.

Q. Why do 1st Grade gnomes make terrible gardeners?
A. Because they can't weed yet.

Too bad it wasn't written by the UnGnome Comic. That would have been funnier.

Gnome Point to Ponder: Everyday, somebody anonymously adds more dirt on top of the garden. The plot thiickens...

Point That Garden Gnomes Ponder: If an angel is removed from a fountain, does that make it a sans serif font?

Q. What did the gnomes say when their garden was invaded by hedgehogs?
A. Those pricks!

And, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.

Q. What position did the gnome play on the baseball team?
A. Shortstop.

Q. What sport do gnomes play during the summer?
A. Little League Baseball.

Gnome Gardening Wisdom of the Day: They say cow manure comes from males. But, that's bullshit!

Gnomes are good sports and strive for pun perfection.

Q. How do gnomes in Denver keep Broncos out of their yards?
A. They install goal posts.

Q. Why do gnomes giggle when they play soccer?
A. Because they grass tickles their arm pits!

Q. What did the gnome referee say when the cricket match ended?
A. Game Clover.

Pa-troll Trivia: Metro Gnomes make great beat cops, too.

Q. Why did the gnome always take the subway to work?
A. Because a metro-gnome is always on time!

Q. Why don't garden gnomes trust dung beetles?
A. Because they're full of shit.

Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey baby, what would it take to get invited into your inner Iris?

Well, we still don't gno who is responsible for this pun.

Q. Why was the gnome mum when he saw somebody stealing the garden gate?
A. He didn't say anything in case he took a fence.

Q. Why are gnome joggers excused from jury duty?
A. Lawyers don't want to risk a runaway jury.

Gnome Pick Up Line: Oh hi girl! I just wanted to show this rose how beautiful you are.

The ad agency behind this gnomad is now leading a dog pack.

Q. What did the gnome do when he came across monkey poop in the garden?
A. He went absolutely ape shit!

Q. Why was the garden gnome so frustrated?
A. He tried to move a statue of a god, but it remained idol.

Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey there Gnirly, are you as loud as your chickens?

Gnow we gno why gnomes always wear those pointy hats. Didn't you think it was because they're bald? Or, because they have a horn?

Q. Which kind of cancer plagues garden gnomes?
A. Mela-gnome-eh.

Q. Why did the gnome's girlfriend have tears in her eye when he proposed to her?
A. Because he gave her an onion ring!

Is Gnome a physical place, or just a state of mind? According to Webster, it's a noun.

Q. Why don't gnomes read long novels?
A. Because they prefer short stories.

Elfin Hookup Line: Hey Gnirl, once you go gnome, you'll never go home.

Q. What did the gnome chef have to prepare for the dung beetles in his yard?
A. Hotdogs with must-turd.

Gnome Moore and Gnome Les might disagree?

Q. What do gnomes in Ireland have in their backyards?
A. Patty O Furniture.

Q. Why do traveling gnomes from New York like to visit Minnesota?
A. Because that's where the mini apple is.

Q. What does a gnome call a lawn decoration with a naked lady on it?
A. A lawn whorenament.

No watered down gnome puns here!

Q. What happened when the drunk guy tried to spank his naughty stone gnome statue?
A. It really hurt when he hit rock bottom.

Q. Why won't the Department of Agriculture allow gnome ranchers to feed their cows round bales of hay?
A. They claim the cows aren't getting a square meal.

Troll Chat Up Line: Hey Gnirl, I've been wanting to get to gnome you.

Q. What does a garden gnome call small landscape rocks?
A. Mini-rals.

Q. What do gnomes call a miniature golf club made of hornet testicles covered in Reese's Pieces?
A. A peanut butter bee-nut putter.

Q. What did the gnome hear when he rang a bell with a piece of crap?
A. Dung.

Garden Gnome Pick Up Line: Hey Gnirl, how'd you like to help me germinate my seed?

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