What is the difference between a golf ball and the G Spot?
A. A man will spend at least 5 minutes looking for a golf
What do golfers always carry a spare pair of socks?
A. In case they get a hole in one.
Where did the duffer like to go for a vacation?
A. The Golf of Mexico.
What is the worst thing a golfer can hear on the golf course?
A. It's still your turn.
Bag Laugh of the Day: The people who gave us golf and called
it a game are the same people who gave us bagpipes and called
How do you know you've got a great golfing partner?
A. He's always a little bit worse than you are.
Do you think it's a sin to play golf on Sunday?
Caddie: Sir, the way you play, it's a sin any day of the
What happened after the golfer do after he caught his opponent
A. He had a score to settle.
Point to Ponder: If two people are planning a conspiracy
while playing golf, are they on a collusion course?
What do golfers do when the want to use the driving range?
A. They swing by the course.
Why do cavemen enjoy the game of golf?
A. Because they're great at using clubs.
What's the difference between a golfer and a fisherman?
A. When a golfer lies, he doesn't have to bring anything
home for proof.
Tip of the Day: The best wood in most amatuer golfer's bags
is the pencil.
This is the worst course I've ever played.
Caddie: Sir, we left the golf course over an hour ago.
Laugh of the Day: Golf is a lot like taxes. You go for the
green and wind up in the hole.
Is that guy over there a bad golfer?
Caddie: Yes, that's a fore-gone conclusion.
What do you call competitors lined up on a rocky beach that
are holding hands?
A. Pebble Beach Golf Links.
went around the world in 1492. That isn't a lot of strokes
when you consider the course.
– Lee Trevino
Which golfer can jump higher than the flag?
A. All of them. Flags can't jump!
In the early days of golf, what were the flags made of?
A. Course material. '
Why couldn't Tiger Woods listen to music?
A. 'Cause he broke all the records!
What should you do if your golf game is interrupted by lightning?
A. Walk around and hold your 1-iron above your head, because
even Mother Nature can't hit a 1-iron.
Please stop checking your watch all the time. That's very
Caddie: Sir, it's not a watch; it's a compass.
Why are there 18 holes on a golf course?
A. 'Cause that's how long it takes a Scotsman to finish
a bottle of whiskey!
I think I'm going to go drown myself in that lake.
Caddie: Do you think you can hold your head down that long?
Point to Ponder: Why is it so easy to wake up at 6:00 A.M.
to play golf on Saturday morning than to wake up at 10"00
A.M. to mow the lawn?
Do you think my game is improving?
Caddie: Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now.
How does a gnome measure a miniature golf course?
A. In par secs.
did you hear about the golfer who was shot at the border?
Yes, they said it was a hole in Juan.
What is a garden gnome's favorite sport?
A. Miniature golf.
Which kind of tiny golf course rental do gnomes use?
A. A subcompact cart.