Wisecrack: I love doing crunches: Doritos, popcorn, pretzels...
Fitness Fail: I ran twice today! First, I ran out to get
beer and tacos, then I had to run to the restroom.
Why did Satan open a fitness center in Hell?
A. So he could exercise his demons.
What happened when the blonde went on a crash diet?
A. She crashed into two cars and took out a telephone pole!
How do some people curb their appetite?
A. At the drive thru window.
What is the Dr. Doolittle Diet?
A. A fad diet where you talk to the food instead of eating
Point to Ponder: If the guys at the gym call you a big
fat loser, is that a dis or a huge compliment?
Why did the frustrated blonde dieter refuse to swallow her
A. 'Cause the last thing she needs right now is even more
empty calories. Duh!
Factoid: Did you realize that Dr. Frankenstein was actually
the first bodybuilder?
What did the lazy out-of-shape guy get when he quit his
diet and fitness program?
Pick-Up Line: Did you get
those yoga pants on sale? 'Cause at my place, they're 100%
Diet and Fitness Point to Ponder: How can empty calories
possibly take up so much space?