Why doesn't McDonald's serve escargot?
A. Snails are not fast food and nobody's got slime for that!
Why aren't there any French delicacies in Davy Jones' locker?
A. Because dead men sell no snails.
What is a slug aboard an air craft carrier called?
A. A snailor.
Waiter, there's a small slug in this salad.
Waiter: Sorry sir, would you like me to get you a larger
What is a slow bullet called?
A. A slug.
Where do lobsters work at the bread factory?
A. At a crust station.
What did the shrink say about the lobster that couldn't
go into tight spaces?
A. He's claws-trophobic.
Sea Pick-Up Line: Hey
baby, some call me Portuguese man-of-war, but I'm
just the jellyfish of love.
What is a group of Kraken that are trying to end their lives
A. Suicide squid.
Up an Octopus Line: Hook your arms around me and let’s
get out of this place.
Shark Pick-Up Line: I don’t know whether to mount
you or eat you. You are like a prize winning shark.
Hookup Line: Well, hello Fin. You make me feel like a shark,
because when I see you I want to swallow you.
Which pirate octopus was the most famous of all time?
A. Captain Squid.
Deep Sea Groan of the Day: Sea monster jokes are Kraken
What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?
A. One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a jellyfish.
Which language do squid speak?
What does it take to make a squid giggle?
A. Ten tickles.
What did the squid say when it was in a hurry?
A. Let's get Kraken.
What did the squid say to the bagpipe player?
A. You'd be sexier without those pajamas on.
Why didn't the Baja fisherman brag about the number of squid
he'd captured in the Sea of Cortez?
A. 'Cause he's a Humboldt man.
Squid Pick-Up Line: You are so cute. I wish I could turn
myself inside out and digest you.
What does a loving squid couple do?
A. They get calimarried.
What are twin squids called?
How do you describe the size of a giant squid?
Deep Sea Pick-Up Line: Squids don’t always ink, but
I’d make you ink twice tonight.
What did the sea lion say when he was falsely accused?
A. Hey, it was the otter guy!
What do you get if you cross an elephant and whale?
A. A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
Lion Chat Up Line: Hey
girl, I hope you see that I'm not like all the otters!
Lion Pick-Up Line: Hey
girl, how about we go behind this rock and seal
Sea Pick-Up Line: Hey
babe, they don't call me a sperm whale for nothing!
Dropping Pick-Up Line:
My last girlfriend just got eaten by a shark. Can you be
my new one?
Deep Sea Chat Up Line:
Hey babe, what would happen if I dropped a shark on thin
ice? It would melt just like you melt my heart.
What do you call a smelly deep sea creature?
A. A Stink Ray!
Why are there fish at the bottom of the ocean?
A. Because they dropped out of school.
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
A. A bird that will talk your ear off!
Chat Up Line: There are a lot of sharks in the sea, but
you are the only one I’d like to catch and mount back
Who brings presents to good little lobsters at Christmas
A. Sandy Claws.