Q. Which kind of house plants are flies really afraid of?
A. Spider plants!

Two flies are sitting on a pile of poop. One fly farts, and the other fly yells, "Hey, I'm trying to eat here!"

Connoisseur Customer: Waiter, there's a fly in my wine!
Waiter: Yes ma'am, you asked for a house red with a little body in it.

Six-Legged Pick-Up Line: Hey girly, how many eyes does this fly have? It doesn't matter, because all of them are on you, you, you baby.

Customer: There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Force of habit, sir. Our chef used to be a tailor.

Poop-ular Ad Slogan: Eat sh*t! 'Cause trillions of flies cannot be wrong!

Q. Why did the housefly fly?
A. 'Cause the tarantula spied her!

Q. What did one fly ask another fly at a social gathering?
A. Is this stool taken?

Q. What did the spider say to the ghost?
A. Please stop scaring all the flies away!

Customer: There's a fly in the butter.
Waiter: Yes sir, that's a butterfly.

Q. What's it called when you have a whole lot of spiders in your house?
A. A No Fly Zone!

Customer: Waiter, there's a fly in the salsa.
Waiter at Chipotle: Oh, don't worry. The spider in your taco will get him.

Customer: Waiter, there's a dead fly in my taco.
Waiter: Yeah, they can't handle the spicy jalapenos.

Waiter: Enjoy your meal. Can I get you anything else?
Spider: Waiter, there's a fly in my soup. Please send my compliments to the chef!

Pesky Six-Legged Point to Ponder: Do housefly puns really bug you?

Q. What did the cobbler say to the annoying insect?
A. Shoe fly!

Q. What did the Black Widow say to her new hubby?
A. Time's fun when you're having flies.

Waiter: Sir, you haven't touched your Jell-O?
Customer: Yeah, I'm waiting for the fly to stop using it as a trampoline.

Customer: There's a fly drowning in my bowl of breakfast cereal!
Waiter: Just throw him a Cheerio; those make great life preservers.

Black Widow Spider Pick-Up Line: Hey big fella, are you a fly? 'Cause I want to wrap you up and take you to my web.

Customer: Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter: No sir, that's a spider. The fly is on your steak.

Q. What don't flies read in the morning?
A. The fly paper.

Q. Why is the spider the best outfielder on the winning baseball team?
A. Because he's great at catching flies.

Customer: What is this fly doing in my alphabet soup?
Waiter: Learning to read?

Q. Which kind of equine can fly?
A. A horsefly.

Q. Which fall beverage do flies avoid?
A. Apple Spider.

Q. What is a horsefly's favorite dance step?
A. The Jitterbug.

Customer: There's a fly in my soup.
Waiter: Couldn't be, sir. The chef used them all in the raisin bread.

Q. What is every spider's favorite outdoor sport?
A. Fly fishing.

Customer: Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter: Don't worry sir, the spider on your breadsticks will get it.

Pesky Insect Point to Ponder: Wouldn't you think a housefly would be bigger than a horsefly?

Arach-No Point to Ponder: When spiders trap flies in their web in a grow house, is that considered a buzz kill?

Q. Why shouldn't you wear spider silk pants?
A. 'Cause the flies always get stuck.

Q. Where are flies always openly welcomed?
A. At the Levi Straus factory.

Q. What did one fly ask another fly?
A. Is this stool taken?

Customer: Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup.
Waiter: Yes, sir. Our soup is really hot.

Customer: What is this fly doing on my ice cream sundae?
Waiter: Sir, I believe it's skiing.

Customer: Waiter, there's a hornet in my soup.
Waiter: Yes sir. It's the fly's day off.

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