Q. What is a snake's favorite dance? A. The Mamba!   PainfulPuns.com - Animal Puns, Wildlie Humor, Beary Funny Jokes!

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Q. When's the wrong time to reason with a snake? A. when it's throwing a hissy fit!
Q. Why did a viper want to become a python? A He ot the coiling!
Smiling Snake Says: Happy Slithers Day!
Q. What do you call a snake that tells jokes? A. Monty Python!

q. What do you give to a baby mongoose? A. A rattle-snake!
Q. What do snakes use to cut paper? A. Scisss-ors!



Viper Jokes, Snake Humor, Cobra LOLs, Mamba Puns
Slither along with pain in the asp puns, hiss-terical herpetology humor, and rubber snake jokes.

Snake Jokes, Python Puns, Serpent Humor
('Cause Killer Cobra Jokes and Venomous Viper Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream If There IS a Snake in the Grass!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Anaconda jokes, forked-tongue humor, Roto Rooter LOLs and bad asp puns ahead.
| Hiss-terical Snake Puns and Serpent Jokes | 2 | 3 | Dinosaur Jokes | Frog Jokes and Toad Puns |
| Lizard Laughs | Crocodile Jokes, Gator Puns | Turtle Jokes, Tortoise Puns | Pet Reptile Humor |
| Insect Jokes, Bug Puns | Bee Puns| Butterfly Jokes, Moth Puns | Housefly LOLs | Spider Jokes |

Q. What do you call taking a selfie with a rattlesnake? A. A big missss-take!
Q. What clothing might sister snakes share? A. Co-Bras!
Q.. Which kind of snake keeps the car cleanest? a. A Windshield Viper!

Q. Why are sss-slithering snake jokes so funny?
A. Because they're hiss-terical.

Q. Why shouldn't you taunt a Western Rattlesnake?
A. It might come back to bite you in the end!

Q. When do snakes find viper jokes funny?
A. When they're tongue-in-cheek.

Q. Why is it so hard to trust a sneaky serpent?
A. 'Cause they speak with forked tongues.

Q. Why do charming cobras like snake jokes?
A. They find them hiss-stare-ical.

Q. What sort of discomfort does a constipated snake suffer from?
A. A pain in the asp.

Q. Which kind of snake do aerospace engineers keep as a pet?
A. A Boeing constructor.

Q. Which kind of snake is really full of it?
A. The bull snake.

Q. Which kind of snakes are prestigious in London?
A. Sir Pents.

Q. Why did a snake laugh so hard that it cried? A. Because it thought our l-asp joke was hiss-terical!
Q. What do you call a snake who works for the government? A. A civil serpent!
Q. What do you get if you cross two snakes using a magic spell? A. Addercadabra and abradacobra!

Q. What do little dancing snakes call their mother?
A. Mom-ba.

Q. Why are baby garter snakes always so happy?
A. Because they eat whatever bugs them!

Recoiled Bad Asp Fact of the Day: Sss-seriously, snakes really enjoy hiss-terical herpetology puns!

Q. What did the Western Rattlesnake study in school?
A. American hiss-tory.

Q. Which kind of serpent is a snitch for the park police?
A. A snake in the grass.

Q. Which kind of viper wages war the most often?
A. The battle-snake.

Q. What ddid John Philip Sousa get when he crossed a serpent with a tuba?
A. A snake in the brass.

Q. What do you call a snake that was cool yesterday, but s totally out today?
A. A hiss-been.

Q. What is a Latin American snake's favorite dance?
A. The Mamba.

Q. What do you call a snake that builds things? A. boa Constructor!
Q. What do snakes do after they fight? A. They hiss and make up!
Did you hear about the man who crossed the snake mafia? He was given the hiss of death!

Q. What do you call a snake that diligently wraps itself around its prey?
A. A constriction worker.

Q. Which kind of snake is dedicated to the corporation it works for?
A. The Co-bra.

Q. How can you remove paint off of a snake?
A. Use serpentine.

Q. Which chocolate snack do snakes really eat up?
A. Hershey's Hisses.

Q. Which kind of snake had the most gravelly voice?
A. The h-asp.

Q. How did the herpatologist's vet treat the sick snake?
A. With asp-irin.

Q. What happened after a rattlesnake bit Chuck Norris?
A. The snake died.

Q. Which kind of snake can grab ahold of you the fastest?
A. The gr-asp.

Q. How does a vicious viper shoot at its intended target?
A. With a boa and arrow.

Q. How do you revive a snake that looks dead? A. Mouse-to-moth resuscitation!
Q. What do you call a snake that only eats dessert? A. A Pie-Thon!
Q. What do you call a snake without clothes? A. Snaked!

Q. What did the garter snake say when he finished off the mouse?
A. Fangs for the memories.

Q. Which kind of snakes suffer from aches and pains?
A. Sore-pents.

Q. What is the deadly African snake's best subject in school?
A. Math, because he's a Puff Adder.

Q. Which kind of snake measures about 3.14 feet long?
A. A Pi-thon.

Q. Which kind of serpent only eats candy?
A. A snack.

Q. What is a quick and easy serpent oven recipe?
A. Snake 'N Bake.

Q. Why wouldn't the bartender serve the rattler?
A. 'Cause they don't serve snake-bite there.

Q. Which kind of snake designed underwear for Madonna?
A. The co-bra.

Q. Which kind of snake is into sexy underwear?
A. A Py-thong.

Did you hear about a new rattlesnake species that can't make venom? It has reptile dysfunction!
Q. Which big river has lots of big nakes? A. The Hississippi!
Q. Why couldn't the snake have more babies? A. Because she had a hiss-terectomy!

Q. What creature was created when the mad scientist crossed a snake with a hawk?
A. A big swallow.

Q. What does a snake take to relieve its allergy symptoms?
A. Anti-hiss-tamines.

Q. What do you call a verbose serpent that just drones on and on?
A. P-rattlesnake.

Q. What should you do if you find a black mamba in a toilet?
A. Wait until it's finished.

Q. Why are snakes afraid of the Roto Rooter man?
A. They don't like being shoved down into the sewer.

Q. Where are rubber snakes located at the toy store?
A. In the rept-aisle.

Q. Why are anaconda snakes at home in South America?
A. Because they be long there.

Q. Which kind of luggage is made from snake skin?
A. Ex-hiss baggage.

Q. Which kind of snake does a baby hawk like to play with?
A. A rattlesnake.

Q. Which African snake is jealous of the Black Mamba?
A. The Green Mamba.

Q. Which kind of decorative viper can you wear around your neck?
A. The jewelry cl-asp.

Q. Which kind of snake teaches the young ones?
A. The boa instructor.

Q. Did you hear about the snake's love letter? A. He sealed it with a hissQ
Q. Why did a snake's wife file for divorce? A. E-Reptile Dysfunction!
Q. What did a snake say to his love on Valentine's Day? A. Give me a little hug and a hiss, honey!

Q. Which kind of snake can throw off a wedding reception?
A. A garter snake.

Q. Which Bard is the favorite of cobras and boas?
A. William Snakespeare.

Q. What is it called when a Black Mamba can't dance?
A. E-reptile dysfunction!

Q. What happens when two nervous snakes meet for the first time?
A. They get tongue-tied.

Q. How do you measure a Black Mamba snake?
A. In meters, 'cause they don't have any feet.

Q. Why won't venomous vipers attack lawyers?
A. Professional courtesy.

Snaky Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, I hear you like reptiles? I've got one right here called a trouser snake.

Q. Which classic snake comedian was the funniest?
A. Monty Python.

Q. Why did the cobra ask her handler out on a date?
A. 'Cause he was a real snake charmer.

Q. What did the famous snake get from his admirers?
A. Fang letters.

Q. Which snakes in the same family were in a forbidden relationship?
A. Hissing cousins.

Q. Why did the boa constrictors have to get married?
A. 'Cause they had a crush on each other.

| Snake Humor | 2 | 3 | Frog Jokes and Toad Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Dinosaur Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
| Lizard Laughs | Crocodile Jokes, Gator Puns | Turtle Jokes, Tortoise Puns | 2 | 3 | Reptile Humor |
| Insect Jokes, Bug Puns, Entomology LOLs | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Bee Jokes, Hive Humor, Wasp LOLs | 2 |
| Butterfly Jokes, Moth Puns, Caterpillar LOLs | Housefly Jokes | Spider Jokes, Arachnid Puns | 2 |
Gorilla Jokes, Big Ape Puns | 2 | 3 | Bigfoot Jokes | Sasquatch Jokes | Colorado Bigfoot Jokes |
| Chimpanzee Puns | Monkey Jokes | 2 |
| 4 | Stoner Monkeys | Animal Potheads | Animal Bar |

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| Wild Animal Jokes | Colorado Wildlife | Farm Animals | Pet Animal Puns | Animal Crime Jokes |

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