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Viper Jokes, Snake Humor, Cobra LOLs, Mamba Puns
Slither
along with pain in the asp puns, hiss-terical herpetology humor, and rubber
snake jokes.
Snake Jokes, Python Puns, Serpent
Humor
('Cause Killer Cobra Jokes
and Venomous Viper Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream
If There IS a Snake in the Grass!) |
Warning:
Proceed with Caution! Anaconda jokes, forked-tongue humor, Roto
Rooter LOLs and bad asp puns ahead.
| Hiss-terical
Snake Puns and Serpent Jokes | 2
| 3 | Dinosaur
Jokes | Frog Jokes and Toad Puns
|
| Lizard Laughs | Crocodile
Jokes, Gator Puns | Turtle Jokes,
Tortoise Puns | Pet Reptile Humor
|
| Insect Jokes, Bug Puns | Bee
Puns| Butterfly Jokes, Moth
Puns | Housefly LOLs | Spider
Jokes |
|
Q. Why are sss-slithering snake jokes so funny?
A. Because they're hiss-terical.
Q.
Why shouldn't you taunt a Western Rattlesnake?
A. It might come back to bite you in the end!
Q.
When do snakes find viper jokes funny?
A. When they're tongue-in-cheek. |
Q. Why is it so hard to trust a sneaky serpent?
A. 'Cause they speak with forked tongues.
Q.
Why do charming cobras like snake jokes?
A. They find them hiss-stare-ical.
Q.
What sort of discomfort does a constipated snake suffer
from?
A. A pain in the asp.
|
Q. Which kind of snake do aerospace engineers keep as a
pet?
A. A Boeing constructor.
Q.
Which kind of snake is really full of it?
A. The bull snake.
Q.
Which kind of snakes are prestigious in London?
A. Sir Pents. |
| Q.
What do little dancing snakes call their mother?
A. Mom-ba.
Q.
Why are baby garter snakes always so happy?
A. Because they eat whatever bugs them!
Recoiled
Bad Asp Fact of the Day: Sss-seriously, snakes really enjoy
hiss-terical herpetology puns! |
Q.
What did the Western Rattlesnake study in school?
A. American hiss-tory.
Q.
Which kind of serpent is a snitch for the park police?
A. A snake in the grass.
Q.
Which kind of viper wages war the most often?
A. The battle-snake.
|
Q. What ddid John Philip Sousa get when he crossed a serpent
with a tuba?
A. A snake in the brass.
Q.
What do you call a snake that was cool yesterday, but s
totally out today?
A. A hiss-been.
Q.
What is a Latin American snake's favorite dance?
A. The Mamba. |
|
Q. What do you call a snake that diligently wraps itself
around its prey?
A. A constriction worker.
Q.
Which kind of snake is dedicated to the corporation it works
for?
A. The Co-bra.
Q.
How can you remove paint off of a snake?
A. Use serpentine. |
Q.
Which chocolate snack do snakes really eat up?
A. Hershey's Hisses.
Q.
Which kind of snake had the most gravelly voice?
A. The h-asp.
Q.
How did the herpatologist's vet treat the sick snake?
A. With asp-irin.
|
Q. What happened after a rattlesnake bit Chuck Norris?
A. The snake died.
Q.
Which kind of snake can grab ahold of you the fastest?
A. The gr-asp.
Q.
How does a vicious viper shoot at its intended target?
A. With a boa and arrow. |
|
Q. What did the garter snake say when he finished off the
mouse?
A. Fangs for the memories.
Q.
Which kind of snakes suffer from aches and pains?
A. Sore-pents.
Q.
What is the deadly African snake's best subject in school?
A. Math, because he's a Puff Adder. |
Q.
Which kind of snake measures about 3.14 feet long?
A. A Pi-thon.
Q.
Which kind of serpent only eats candy?
A. A snack.
Q.
What is a quick and easy serpent oven recipe?
A. Snake 'N Bake.
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Q. Why wouldn't the bartender serve the rattler?
A. 'Cause they don't serve snake-bite there.
Q.
Which kind of snake designed underwear for Madonna?
A. The co-bra.
Q.
Which kind of snake is into sexy underwear?
A. A Py-thong. |
|
Q. What creature was created when the mad scientist crossed
a snake with a hawk?
A. A big swallow.
Q.
What does a snake take to relieve its allergy symptoms?
A. Anti-hiss-tamines.
Q.
What do you call a verbose serpent that just drones on and
on?
A. P-rattlesnake.
Q.
What should you do if you find a black mamba in a toilet?
A. Wait until it's finished. |
Q.
Why are snakes afraid of the Roto Rooter man?
A. They don't like being shoved down into the sewer.
Q.
Where are rubber snakes located at the toy store?
A. In the rept-aisle.
Q.
Why are anaconda snakes at home in South America?
A. Because they be long there.
Q.
Which kind of luggage is made from snake skin?
A. Ex-hiss baggage. |
Q. Which kind of snake does a baby hawk like to play with?
A. A rattlesnake.
Q.
Which African snake is jealous of the Black Mamba?
A. The Green Mamba.
Q.
Which kind of decorative viper can you wear around your
neck?
A. The jewelry cl-asp.
Q.
Which kind of snake teaches the young ones?
A. The boa instructor. |
|
Q. Which kind of snake can throw off a wedding reception?
A. A garter snake.
Q.
Which Bard is the favorite of cobras and boas?
A. William Snakespeare.
Q.
What is it called when a Black Mamba can't dance?
A. E-reptile dysfunction!
Q.
What happens when two nervous snakes meet for the first
time?
A. They get tongue-tied. |
Q. How do you measure a Black Mamba snake?
A. In meters, 'cause they don't have any feet.
Q.
Why won't venomous vipers attack lawyers?
A. Professional courtesy.
Snaky
Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, I hear you like reptiles? I've got
one right here called a trouser snake.
Q.
Which classic snake comedian was the funniest?
A. Monty Python. |
Q.
Why did the cobra ask her handler out on a date?
A. 'Cause he was a real snake charmer.
Q.
What did the famous snake get from his admirers?
A. Fang letters.
Q.
Which snakes in the same family were in a forbidden relationship?
A. Hissing cousins.
Q.
Why did the boa constrictors have to get married?
A. 'Cause they had a crush on each other. |
|
Snake Humor | 2
| 3 | Frog
Jokes and Toad Puns | 2 | 3
| 4 | 5
| Dinosaur Jokes | 2
| 3 | 4
| 5 | 6
|
| Lizard Laughs | Crocodile
Jokes, Gator Puns | Turtle Jokes,
Tortoise Puns | 2 | 3
| Reptile Humor |
| Insect Jokes, Bug Puns, Entomology LOLs
| 2 | 3
| 4 | 5
| Bee Jokes, Hive Humor, Wasp LOLs
| 2 |
| Butterfly Jokes, Moth Puns, Caterpillar
LOLs | Housefly Jokes | Spider
Jokes, Arachnid Puns | 2
|
|
Gorilla Jokes, Big Ape Puns | 2
| 3 | Bigfoot
Jokes | Sasquatch Jokes | Colorado
Bigfoot Jokes |
| Chimpanzee Puns | Monkey
Jokes | 2 | 3
|
4 | Stoner
Monkeys | Animal Potheads | Animal
Bar |
| Elephant Jokes | Lion
Jokes, Big Cat Puns | African
Safari Animal Jokes | Kangaroo
Jokes |
| Bat Jokes | Owl
Jokes, Owl-ful Puns | Wolf
Jokes | Marine Mammal Jokes and Sealife
Puns |
| Bear Jokes | Deer
Jokes | Mouse Jokes, Rat Puns
| Rabbit Jokes, Hare Puns | Animal
Poop Puns |
| Vet Jokes | Scary
Animal Jokes | Animal Music Jokes
| Animal Pick-Up Lines | Xmas
Animals |
| Duck Puns | Goose
Jokes | Fish Jokes | Finny
Fish Puns | Sports Animal Jokes
| Bronco Puns |
| Wild Animal Jokes | Colorado
Wildlife | Farm Animals | Pet
Animal Puns | Animal Crime Jokes
|
You
sidled down this far, so here's
more cold-blooded laughter,
killer humor,
jaw-some jokes and
hiss-terical painful
puns that aren't a pain in the asp:
|
More
Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...
| Bartender Jokes | Butt
Puns | Car Jokes | Colorado
Jokes | Fashion Jokes | Green
Puns | Home Contractor Jokes
|
| Magic Jokes | Male
Anatormy Jokes | Naked Laughs | Pie
Joees | Police Puns | Psychic
Jokes | Religion Humor |
| River Jokes | Sci-Fi
Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Sports
Jokes | Sun Puns | Underwear
Jokes | Warm Weather Jokes
|
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