|
|
Tortoise Jokes, Turtle Power Puns, Terrapin LOLs
Mosey
along with sightseing toured-all puns, homeless tortoise humor, and turtleneck
jokes.
Turtle Jokes, Tortoise Humor, Shelly
Old Puns
('Cause Shelly Puns and Slow
Poke Jokes Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream While Waiting
for Turtles to Cross the Raod!) |
Warning:
Proceed Carefully! Naked turtle jokes, shell phone puns, squirt-le
LOLs and turtle-y awesome puns ahead.
| Turtle Jokes, Tortoise Puns
| 2 | 3
| Lizard Laughs | Crocodile
Jokes, Gator Puns | Reptile Humor
|
| Hiss-terical
Snake Jokes, Boa Puns | Dinosaur
Jokes, Jurassic Puns | Frog Jokes
and Toad Puns |
| Insect Jokes, Bug Puns | Bee
Puns| Butterfly Jokes, Moth
Puns | Housefly Humor | Spider
Jokes |
| Q.
Why did the Carribean terrapin cross the road?
A.To sea what was on the other tide.
Q.
What do you call a tortoise after an extensive sightseeing
trip?
A. Toured All.
Q.
What do you call the charge a tortoise has to pay to cross
the road?
A. Tur-toll. |
Q.
What do you call the tortoise that got road goo stuck to
it?
A. Tar-tle.
Q.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
A. 'Cause the Shell Station was on the other side.
Q.
What causes PTSD in turtles?
A. Shell shock.
|
Q.
What do you get when you cross a turtle with a camera?
A. Low res shell-fies.
Q.
What does a terrapin say when it sees something really terrific?
A. Turtle-y Awesome!
Q.
What do you call an old tortoise that's now a mere fraction
of what it once was?
A. Third-le. |
| Q.
What happens at a turtle's birthday party?
A. Everybody shell-abrates.
Q.
How do terrapins describe it when a land tortoise has a
photographic memory?
A. Turtle recall. |
Q.
Which tortoise jokes are the funniest?
A. Short, snappy, shelly puns.
Q.
What do you call a tortoise wearing a team jersey?
A. Shirt-le. |
Q.
What do you call a turtle wearing a kilt?
A. Skirt-le.
Q.
Why do turltles like to attend parties?
A. 'Cause they love to shell-abrate. |
| Q.
What happened to the turtle that snapped up a hot wire?
A. It got shell shocked.
Q.
What is a fitting nickname for a pet turtle that poops a
lot?
A. Turd.
|
Q.
What do you call a tortoise that checks the accuracy of
scales?
A. Tare-tle.
Q.
What do you call a turtle that likes layered chcoolate cakes?
A.Torte-le. |
Q.
What happened to the tortoise's car when the tow truck drove
off the cliff?
A. It was a turtle loss.
Q.
What do you call a tortoise that wa ripped in half?
A. Tore-tle. |
| Q.
How do turtles communicate over long distances?
A. They use shell phones.
Q.
What do you call an old tortoise that hasn't lost anything?
A. Total. |
Q.
What do you get when you cross a turtle with a hog?
A. A slow pork.
Q.
What is a turtleneck?
A. A cross betwen a ttortoise and a giraffe. |
Q.
What do she tortoises call the horny terrapin who constantly
hits on then?
A. A turtle jerk.
Q.
Which kind of shelled reptile works in a legal office?
A. The tort-le. |
| Q.
Why did the loner land turtle go to prison?
A. He robbed the local riverbank.
Q.
What is it called when two sea turtles get into a head on
collison?
A. A turt-all wreck.
Q.
Which mythical terrapin is actually native to Scandinavia?
A. The Fjord-le. |
Q.
What's a great name for a pet turtle?
A. Shelly.
Q.
What do you name a better than average pet turtle?
A. Shell B.
Q.
What is the most common first name of she turtles over 50?
A. Myrtle. |
Q.
What do you call a vacationing turtle skiing at Vail?
A. Slope poke.
Q.
Which tortoise is the ad spokesperson for lemon, lime, grapefruit
flavor soda pop?
A. Squirt-le.
Q.
What does a tortoise wear when it's chilly outside?
A. A turtleneck sweater. |
|
Turtle Jokes, Tortoise Puns |
2 | 3
| Lizard Laughs | Crocodile
Jokes, Gator Puns | Reptile Humor
|
| Frog Jokes and Toad Puns | 2
| 3 | 4
| 5 | Snake
Humor | 2 | 3
| Dinosaur Jokes | 2
| 3 | 4
| 5 | 6
|
| Insect Jokes, Bug Puns, Entomology LOLs
| 2 | 3
| 4 | 5
| Bee Jokes, Hive Humor, Wasp LOLs
| 2 |
| Butterfly Jokes, Moth Puns, Caterpillar
LOLs | Housefly Jokes | Spider
Jokes, Arachnid Puns | 2
|
|
Gorilla Jokes, Big Ape Puns | 2
| 3 | Bigfoot
Jokes | Sasquatch Jokes | Colorado
Bigfoot Jokes |
| Chimpanzee Puns | Monkey
Jokes | 2 | 3
|
4 | Stoner
Monkeys | Animal Potheads | Animal
Bar |
| Elephant Jokes | Lion
Jokes, Big Cat Puns | African
Safari Animal Jokes | Kangaroo
Jokes |
| Bat Jokes | Owl
Jokes, Owl-ful Puns | Wolf
Jokes | Marine Mammal Jokes and Sealife
Puns |
| Bear Jokes | Deer
Jokes | Mouse Jokes, Rat Puns
| Rabbit Jokes, Hare Puns | Animal
Poop Puns |
| Vet Jokes | Scary
Animal Jokes | Animal Music Jokes
| Animal Pick-Up Lines | Xmas
Animals |
| Duck Puns | Goose
Jokes | Fish Jokes | Finny
Fish Puns | Sports Animal Jokes
| Bronco Puns |
| Wild Animal Jokes | Colorado
Wildlife | Farm Animals | Pet
Animal Puns | Animal Crime Jokes
|
You're
still in the race for grins,
so here's more homebody humor,
short
bursts of laughter, snappy
jokes and shelly painful
puns that turtle-y
rock:
|
More
Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...
| Cell Phone Laughs | Colorado
Jokes | Cross the Road Jokes | Dating
Humor | Leg LOLs | Manly
Jokes | Math Puns |
| Naked Laughs | Neck
Jokes | Party Laughs | Photographer
Jokes | Pirate Jokes | Police
Puns | Psychic Laughs |
| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal
Puns | Shirt Jokes | Sports
Jokes | Tourist Grind | Travel
Jokes | Women's Fashion LOLs
|
Thanks
for stopping by and see you again soon!
Join
us on social media and please
feel free to share our memes with friends and family:
©2017-2021
Painfulpuns.com 
All rights reserved. |
|
|
