The best turtle jokes are short and sna;;y! - Animal Puns, Wildlie Humor, Beary Funny Jokes!

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Q. What is a sea turtle's favorite sandwich? A. Peanut butter and jellyfish!
Q. What kind of humor do turtles like? A. Shell-arious jokes!
Q. What do you gt if you cross a turtle and a giraffe? A. A Turtleneck!
Q. What does a turtle do on its birthday? A. It shellabrates!


Tortoise Jokes, Turtle Power Puns, Terrapin LOLs
Mosey along with sightseing toured-all puns, homeless tortoise humor, and turtleneck jokes.

Turtle Jokes, Tortoise Humor, Shelly Old Puns
('Cause Shelly Puns and Slow Poke Jokes Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream While Waiting for Turtles to Cross the Raod!)
Warning: Proceed Carefully! Naked turtle jokes, shell phone puns, squirt-le LOLs and turtle-y awesome puns ahead.
| Turtle Jokes, Tortoise Puns | 2 | 3 | Lizard Laughs | Crocodile Jokes, Gator Puns | Reptile Humor |
| Hiss-terical Snake Jokes, Boa Puns | Dinosaur Jokes, Jurassic Puns | Frog Jokes and Toad Puns |
| Insect Jokes, Bug Puns | Bee Puns| Butterfly Jokes, Moth Puns | Housefly Humor | Spider Jokes |

Q. Why did the turtle cross the road? A. To get to the Shell Station!
Q Why did the thrify turtoise cross the road? A. To get to the re-shell store!
Turtle Pick-Up Line: Let's take things slow because that's the only speed I have!

Q. Why did the Carribean terrapin cross the road?
A.To sea what was on the other tide.

Q. What do you call a tortoise after an extensive sightseeing trip?
A. Toured All.

Q. What do you call the charge a tortoise has to pay to cross the road?
A. Tur-toll.

Q. What do you call the tortoise that got road goo stuck to it?
A. Tar-tle.

Q. Why did the turtle cross the road?
A. 'Cause the Shell Station was on the other side.

Q. What causes PTSD in turtles?
A. Shell shock.

Q. What do you get when you cross a turtle with a camera?
A. Low res shell-fies.

Q. What does a terrapin say when it sees something really terrific?
A. Turtle-y Awesome!

Q. What do you call an old tortoise that's now a mere fraction of what it once was?
A. Third-le.

A Good Old Turtle Pick-Up Line: You don't look a day over 110!
If a turtle loses its shell, is it naked or homeless?
Q. What do you get if you cross a turtle, giraffe, and a kangaroo? A. A turtleneck jumper!

Q. What happens at a turtle's birthday party?
A. Everybody shell-abrates.

Q. How do terrapins describe it when a land tortoise has a photographic memory?
A. Turtle recall.

Q. Which tortoise jokes are the funniest?
A. Short, snappy, shelly puns.

Q. What do you call a tortoise wearing a team jersey?
A. Shirt-le.

Q. What do you call a turtle wearing a kilt?
A. Skirt-le.

Q. Why do turltles like to attend parties?
A. 'Cause they love to shell-abrate.

Q. Where do you find a turtle with no legs? A. Wherever you left him!
Q What do you get if you cross a turtle and a porcupine? A. A Slow Poke!
When my cool pet turtle escaped, I wASN'T UPSET, BUT I WAS SHELL-SHOCKED!

Q. What happened to the turtle that snapped up a hot wire?
A. It got shell shocked.

Q. What is a fitting nickname for a pet turtle that poops a lot?
A. Turd.

Q. What do you call a tortoise that checks the accuracy of scales?
A. Tare-tle.

Q. What do you call a turtle that likes layered chcoolate cakes?

Q. What happened to the tortoise's car when the tow truck drove off the cliff?
A. It was a turtle loss.

Q. What do you call a tortoise that wa ripped in half?
A. Tore-tle.

Turtle Pick-Up Line: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Probably not, because you have on hell of a shell!
Q. What did the cow say to the turtle? A. Get a moo-ve on!
Turtle Pick-Up Line: On a scale from 1 to 10, you've got it all, because you're scaly!

Q. How do turtles communicate over long distances?
A. They use shell phones.

Q. What do you call an old tortoise that hasn't lost anything?
A. Total.

Q. What do you get when you cross a turtle with a hog?
A. A slow pork.

Q. What is a turtleneck?
A. A cross betwen a ttortoise and a giraffe.

Q. What do she tortoises call the horny terrapin who constantly hits on then?
A. A turtle jerk.

Q. Which kind of shelled reptile works in a legal office?
A. The tort-le.

Q. Why didn't the tortoise cross the road? A It was just too turtled!
Q. What happens when the kids want a tortoise? A. You shell out the bucks!
Q. Why didn't the tortoise cross the road? A. It didn't have the turtle power!

Q. Why did the loner land turtle go to prison?
A. He robbed the local riverbank.

Q. What is it called when two sea turtles get into a head on collison?
A. A turt-all wreck.

Q. Which mythical terrapin is actually native to Scandinavia?
A. The Fjord-le.

Q. What's a great name for a pet turtle?
A. Shelly.

Q. What do you name a better than average pet turtle?
A. Shell B.

Q. What is the most common first name of she turtles over 50?
A. Myrtle.

Q. What do you call a vacationing turtle skiing at Vail?
A. Slope poke.

Q. Which tortoise is the ad spokesperson for lemon, lime, grapefruit flavor soda pop?
A. Squirt-le.

Q. What does a tortoise wear when it's chilly outside?
A. A turtleneck sweater.

| Turtle Jokes, Tortoise Puns | 2 | 3 | Lizard Laughs | Crocodile Jokes, Gator Puns | Reptile Humor |
| Frog Jokes and Toad Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Snake Humor | 2 | 3 | Dinosaur Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
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| 4 | Stoner Monkeys | Animal Potheads | Animal Bar |

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You're still in the race for grins, so here's more homebody humor, short
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