What was the snake's best subject in school?
A. Math, because he was an adder.
How do you measure a snake?
A. In inches. They don't have any feet.
Which kind of snake teaches the young ones?
A. The boa instructor.
Which Bard is the favorite of cobras and boas?
A. William Snakespeare.
How do you make a baby diamondback cry?
A. Take away its rattle.
How does a spoiled brat snake throw a tantrum?
A. She has a hissy fit.
What is the fear of snakes called?
A. Common sense!
What's it called when you're on safari and take a selfie
with a Cape Cobra?
A. A big misssstake!
What do you get if you cross a frog and a snake?
A. A jumprope!
How can you remove paint off of a snake?
A. Use serpentine.
Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, I hear you like reptiles? I've got
one right here called a trouser snake.
Which medication does a lisping snake take before giving
What do you get when you cross a newborn snake with a basketball?
A. A bouncing baby boa.
Which classic snake comedian was the funniest?
A. Monty Python.
What did the famous snake get from his admirers?
A. Fang letters.
Why aren't snakes ever overweight?
A. 'Cause they hatch with built-in scales.
What happens when two nervous snakes meet for the first
A. They get tongue-tied.
Why did the boa constrictors have to get married?
A. 'Cause they had a crush on each other.
Which kind of contraceptives do snakes use?
Why do snake couples reconcile so quickly after an arguement?
A. They just hiss and make up.
Pick-Up Line: Hey Eve,
I hear you like big snakes?
you hear about the snake love letter? It was sealed with
Who is a snake's favorite classic movie star?
A. Humphrey Boa-gart.
Rock Python Pick-Up Line:
Hey Eve, I hear you like big snakes?