Frog Jokes, Snake Puns, Exotic Pet Humor

Funny Frog Jokes, Reptile Humor, Snaky Punsss
(Because Funny Frog Jokes and Sssilly Snake Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream for Herpetologists or Toadies!)

Q. What does a Romulan frog use for camouflage? A. A croaking device!

Animal Pun: Did you hear about the snake that gave birth to a bouncing baby boa?

Q. What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach? A. A Pything!

Q. What does a frog do when his car breaks down?
A. He calls a toad truck.

Q. What do stylish sci-fi frogs wear?
A. Jumpsuits.

Q. What do you get if you cross a frog and a baseball player?
A. An outfielder who catches flies, and then eats them!

Toadie Pick-Up Line: Hey bae, can my tadpoles come over to swim in your pond?

Snakes really enjoy hisss-terical herpetology puns!

Q. How does a snake shoot something?
A. With a boa and arrow.

Q. What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A. A Civil Serpent!

Q. What is it called when a rattlesnake can't produce venom?
A. E-reptile dysfunction!

Q. What do you get if you cross a frog and a snake?
A. A jumprope!

Q. What do you call a snake that's not wearing clothes?
A. Snaked!

Q. Which kind of snake only eats dessert?
A. The Pie-Thon!

Q. What do you call swampy plant and animal life in Louisiana?
A. Bayou Diversity.

Q. How does a sea captain use amphibians? A. As frog horns.

Q. What did the frog say after lighting up? A. Don't worry, be hoppy!

Q. What is the difference between a frog and a cat? A frog croaks all the time, a cat only nine times.

Q. What is a toad's favorite flower?
A. The Croak-Us!

Q. Why are frogs so good at basketball?
A. They always make the jump shots.

Q. What happens when two nervous frogs collide?
A. They get tongue-tied.

Q. Why are frogs so happy?
A. Because they eat whatever bugs them!

Q. What do you call an illegally parked frog?
A. Toad!

Q. What kind of music do lit frogs enjoy?
A. Hip Hop.

Q. What do you say when you stop for a hitchhiking frog?
A. Hop In.

Q. Why was the tadpole feeling so lonely?
A. Because he was newt to the area.

Q. What kind of music do sophisticated frogs listen to?
A. H-opera!

Local news reported a crocodile was found in Denver! But nobody was surprised because the forecast predicted a cold snap!

Funny Toad Pun: I thought about becoming a witch, so I tried it for a spell.

A male snake charmer married a lady undertaker. Their bath towels read: "Hiss" and "Hearse"

Q. What do you call a crocodile with GPS?
A. A Navi-Gator!

Q. Why won't crocodiles attack lawyers?
A. Professional courtesy.

Q. What do you call a crocodile that likes to go bowling?
A. An alley-gator.

Q. What does a snake take to relieve its allergy symptoms?
A. Anti-hiss-tamines.

Q. What do you call a toad spy?
A. A croak and dagger agent.

Q. What do you call a frog with no hind legs?
A. Very Unhoppy!

Q. What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
A. One says ribbit, ribbit and the other says rub-it, rub-it.

Toadie Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, how 'bout you hop right into my pond tonight?

Q. What did the snake give to his wife?
A. A goodnight hiss!

Q. Which kind of snake likes to build things?
A. A Boa Constructor.

Q. Which medication does a lisping snake take before giving a presentation?
A. Anti-hiss-tamines.

Did you hear about the snake love letter? It was sealed with a hiss.

Q. What did the frog order at McDonalds? A. French flies and a diet croak!

Punny Riddle: Q. What happens to illegally parked frogs? A. They get toad away.

Q. If a crocodile makes shoes, what does a banana make? A. Slippers!

Q. What is a frog's favorite place to eat?
A. IHOP!

Q. What do frogs like to drink in the fall?
A. Hot croak-o.

Q. Who does a frog see when he has eye problems?
A. An hopthalmologist!

Q. How did the frog die?
A. He simply croaked.

Q. What does a frog say when it sees something really terrific?
A. Toad-ally Awesome!

Q. What do you get if you plant a frog?
A. A cr-oak tree!

Q. What did the sick frog need to feel better?
A. An hoperation!

Q. How do despondent frogs die?
A. They Kermit Suicide.

Q. Why shouldn't you taunt a crocodile?
A. It might come back to bite you in the end!

Q. What is a alligator's favorite ballet?
A. Swamp Lake.

Q. What do you get if you cross an alligator and a poisonous frog?
A. A croak-odile.

Q. What do you get if you cross a crocodile and a rooster?
A. Croc-a-doodle-do!

Q. What Did the Coach Say to His Losing Team of Snakes? A. You Can't Venom All!

Painful Pun: Snakes do not drink coffee because they get viper-active.

Gnome Parking Zone. Violators will be (toad)

Q. What is a snake's favorite dance?
A. The Mamba.

Q. What is a snake's favorite subject in school?
A. Hiss-tory!

Q. What was the snake's best subject in school?
A. Math, because he was an adder.

Q. What is an iguana's favorite movie?
A. The Lizard of Oz.

Q. Which kind of snake likes to keep his car clean?
A. The Windshield Viper!

Q. What's it called when you take a selfie with a rattlesnake?
A. A big misssstake!

Snaky Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, I hear you like reptiles? I've got one right here called a trouser snake.

Troll Trivia: Gnome meter maids are hornier than that toad.

Q. What did the frog say when his newt friend said, Time flies when you're having fun?
A. No! It's "Time's fun when you're having flies!"

Reptilian Pick-Up Line: Hey Eve, I hear you like big snakes?

You've slithered along this far, so here's even more wild laughter,
naturally funny jokes, and good lurking painful puns that deserve a look see:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

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