Q. How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Two, but it's cramped!   PainfulPuns.com - Pet Puns + Funny Birds, Cats, Dogs = Pet Peeves

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Q. What did the cat say after he lost all his money? A. I'm Paw!
Q. What do you call a rabbit with fleas? A. Bugs Bunny
Q. What is a locksmith's favorite house pet? A. His Key-ty Cat!

 


Funny Pet Jokes, Animal Puns, Silly Pet Peeves
Cuddle up to funny animal jokes, cute house pet humor, and furry catty puns.

Pet Puns, Animal Humor, Cute Pet Jokes
(Because Pet Par
ents with a Great Sense of Humor and Lots of Animal Love Could Never Be TOO Mainstream!)
Warning: Please Don't Febreeze the Animals! Stinking funny pet jokes and purr-dy silly pet puns ahead.
| Pet Animal Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Bird Jokes | Cat Jokes and Wildcat Puns | Dog Jokes | 2 |
| Finny Fish Puns | Fishy Humor | Frog Jokes and Snake Puns | Mouse and Rodent Jokes |
| Farm Animal Jokes | Chicken Jokes | Duck and Goose Jokes | Cow Puns | Pig Puns | Sheep Puns |
| Donkey Puns | Horse Jokes | Bronco Puns | Insect Puns | Scary Animals | Animal Pick-Up Lines |

Q. What is the difference between a frog and a cat? A. A frog croaks all the time, a cat only nine times.Q. How are a counterfeit coin and a crazy rabbit alike? A. One is bad money and the other is mad bunny.Q. Why don't oysters donate to charity? A. Because they're shellfish.

Q. What happened to the adorable little kitten when she scratched her arm?
A. She felt a-cute pain!

Q. What do you call a cat that just ate a pet duck?
A. A duck-filled platy puss.

Q. Why is it so hard for leopards to escape from the zoo?
A. Because they're always spotted.

Q. What did the mama house cat call her huge litter?
A. A kitten caboodle.

Q. What is the difference between a healthy pet rabbit and an odd one?
A. One is a fit bunny and the other is a bit funny.

Q. What does Elmer Fudd call it when Bugs Bunny is really harassing him?
A. Having a bad hare day!

Q. What kind of music do urban rabbits prefer?
A. Hip Hop.

Jackrabbit PickUp Line: Hey Bunny, the ears aren't the only thing that's big about me.

Q. How do shellfish get to the hospital?
A. In a clam-bulance!

Q. What do you call entertaining crabs crossing the pavement?
A. Side-walk performers.

Q. What do you get when you cross an owl and an oyster?
A. Pearls of Wisdom.

Q. What is the most popular cocktail at the mollusk saloon?
A. The Rusty Snail.

Q. What's the difference between an ornithologist and a stutterer? One is a bird watcher, and the other's a word botcher.A friend annoys me with bad puns, but toucan play at that game!Q. What do you get if you cross an electric eel and a sponge? A. A shock absorber.

Q. What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker?
A. A bird that talks in morse code.

Q. Why couldn't anybody find the rare pet bird that escaped?
A. It was in da skies!

Q. Why were the pigeons still happily married after all these years?
A. Because they're so lovey-dovey.

Q. How many pet birds does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Toucan do it.

Q. What do pet birds like to watch on television?
A. Duck-umentaries.

Q. What do you call a duck on drugs?
A. A quack head.

Q. What do you get if you cross a big fish with a power line?
A. An electric shark!

Q. How does a seahorse get from one place to another?
A. He scallops.

Q. Why did the fish decide to go to Hollywood?
A. Because he wanted to be a starfish!

Q. If a seagull flies over the sea, what flies over the bay? A. A Bagel!Q. What is it called when a female sheep flips around? A. A Ewe TurnQ. How Did the Piglet with Laryngitis Feel? A. He was a little disgruntled!

Q. What kind of birds spend a lot of time on their knees?
A. Birds of Prey.

Q. What do you call a duck on drugs?
A. A quack head.

Q. Which shampoo do pet birds prefer?
A. Dove.

Q. Which grotesque literary character looked a bit like an extinct bird?
A. Quasi-Dodo.

Q. What do you call a pet lamb who likes to tell jokes?
A. A Ewe-morist.

Q. What is it called when you populate an empty meadow with a heard of male sheep?
A. Ram-ification.

Q. What kind of car does a sheep drive?
A. A Lamborghini.

Q. What does an ambitious sheep want?
A. To wool the world.

Q. What do you call a pig that's wrong?
A. Mistaken Bacon.

Q. What is a great Halloween costume for your pet pig?
A. Frankenswine!

Q. If wild pigs could live anywhere in the world, where would they choose?
A. Boar-a Boar-a.

Q. What do good little pet piglets do after school?
A. Their ham work.

Sir Lancelot had a bad dream about his horse. It was a knight mare.How Do You Get a Mouse to Smile? Say: "Cheese"Animal Pun: The rodent club finished drafting a constitution, but it has yet to be ratified.

Q. What did one horse say to another?
A. The face looks familiar, but I don't remember the mane.

Did you hear about the runaway horse? It's a terrible tale of whoa.

Q. What do you call a young guy with the emotional character of a horse?
A. Colt-hearted.

Q. What do they say about horse surgeons?
A. They have stable hands.

Q. Why was the mouse afraid of water?
A. Catfish.

Q. What kind of cheese do pet rodents prefer?
A. Mouserella!

Prairie Dog Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, is there room enough for me in your gopher hole?

Q. Why was the squirrel so stressed out?
A. Because he spent so much time out on a limb.

Q. What mouse was a Roman emperor?
A. Julius Cheeser.

Q. How did the pet mouse feel after taking a shower?
A. Squeaky clean.

Q. What is it called when two furry mammals are inseparable?
A. A sable relationship.

Q. What did the tough carrot say to the rabbit thug?
A. So, you wanna piece of me?

| Pet Animal Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Bird Jokes | Cat Jokes and Wildcat Puns | Dog Jokes | 2 |
| Finny Fish Puns | Fishy Humor | Frog Jokes and Snake Puns | Mouse and Rodent Jokes |
| Farm Animal Jokes | Chicken Jokes | Duck and Goose Jokes | Cow Puns | Pig Puns | Sheep Puns |
| Donkey Puns | Horse Jokes | Bronco Puns | Insect Puns | Scary Animals | Animal Pick-Up Lines |
| Wild Animals | Bear Jokes | Deer Puns | Monkey Jokes | Animal Poop Puns | Bigfoot Jokes | 2 |
| Colorado Animals | Animal Music Jokes | Party Animals | Sports Animals | Xmas Animal Jokes |


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You've flown along this far, so here's more horsing around, hairy humor,
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| Sci-Fi Funnies | Seasonal Puns | Sports Jokes | Travel Jokes | Turdy Puns | Weather Jokes | Zombie Puns |

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