Funny Toad Pun: I thought about becoming a witch, so I tried it for a spell. - Animal Puns, Wildlie Humor, Beary Funny Jokes!

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Q. What is
a frog's
favorite cut
of meat?

A. A Riblet.

Q. What do you call a frog hanging from the ceiling? A. Mistle-Toad!

Q. What is a
hoppy toad's
yard game?

A. Leap Frog.

Q. Where
do you go
to buy
frog eggs?

A. To the
spawn shop.

Toad Says: Wart-n't you know it? It's Wednesday!

Q. How in the world did
the tree frog

A. He went off
the deep end.


Toad Jokes, Croaky Frog Humor, Warty Puns
Hop on in for horny toad humor, croak puns, froggy funs and toad-ally funny amphibian jokes.

Frog Jokes, Ribbit Puns, Amphibian Humor
('Cause Hopped-Up Toad Puns and Jumpy Frog Jokes Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream If You're Not Prince Charming!)
Warning: Proceed Cautiously! Ribbiting amphibian jokes, hungry bullfrog humor, and hoppy tadpole puns ahead.
| Frog Jokes and Toad Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Hiss-terical Snake Jokes, Boa Puns | Dinosaur Jokes |
| Lizard Laughs | Crocodile Jokes, Gator Puns | Turtle Jokes, Tortoise Puns | Pet Reptile Humor |
| Insect Jokes, Bug Puns | Bee Puns| Butterfly Jokes, Moth Puns | Housefly LOLs | Spider Jokes |

Q. What did the frog order at McDonalds? A. French flies and a diet croak!Q. What did the frog say after lighting up? A. Don't worry, be hoppy!Q. What is the difference between a frog and a cat? A frog croaks all the time, a cat only nine times.

Q. What do you get if you cross a frog and a baseball player?
A. An outfielder who catches flies, and then eats them!

Q. What do you call a toad spy?
A. A croak and dagger agent.

Q. What do frogs do when they ski?
A. They rip it.

Q. What do you call a frog that is always telling lies?
A. An Am-fib-ian.

Q. Why did the frog star remove a manhole cover and jump in?
A. He was Kermitting sewer-cide.

Q. Why is it so hard to poison a frog?
A. 'Cause they know the anti-toad.

Q. Why did the frog leave the White House lawn?
A. To get out of the No Fly Zone.

Q. What kind of music do lit frogs enjoy?
A. Hip Hop.

Q. Which prestigious prize did the hip hop frog win?
A. A Grammy Awart.

Q. What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
A. One says ribbit, ribbit and the other says rub-it, rub-it.

Q. Who does a frog see when he has eye problems?
A. An hopthalmologist!

Q. What did the sick frog need to feel better?
A. An hoperation!

Q. What does a frog say when everything is going his way?
A. Toad-ally Awesome!

Toadie Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, how 'bout you hop right into my pond tonight?

Q. Which style of shoes should you wear while disecting a frog?
A. Open-toad.

Q. What does a frog do only once in its lifetime?
A. Jump to a conclusion.

Q. How did the frog die?
A. He simply croaked.

Q. How do despondent frogs die?
A. They Kermit Suicide.

Q. Why are frogs the weakest animals on the planet?
A. They croak when you just look at them.

Q. What's another name for frog poop?
A. Toad stools.

Q. How is explaining a joke like disecting a frog?
A. You understand it better, but it still dies in the end.

Q. What is a toad's favorite
spring flower?

A. The

Punny Riddle: Q. What happens to illegally parked frogs? A. They get toad away.

Q. Why
are frogs so

A. 'Cause they eat whatever
bugs them!

Q. What is a frog's favorite summer flower?
A. A Bug-onia.

Q. What do you get if you plant a frog?
A. A cr-oak tree!

Q. What is a frog's favorite lawn game?
A. Croak-et.

Q. What is a frog's favorite ballet?
A. Swamp Lake.

Q. How do frogs greet each other at the pond?
A. They say, "Wart's Up?"

Q. What do you get when you cross a frog and a dog?
A. A Croaker Spaniel.

Q. What do you get when you cross a poisonous frog with a swamp gator?
A. A croak-adile.

Q. What do you get if you cross a frog with a bunny?
A. A Ribbit.

Q. Who walks around her pad with a frog on her head?
A. Lily.

Q. What do you call a frog with a broken leg?
A. Very Unhoppy. .

Q. What do you call a frog with no hind feet?
A. Extremely Unhoppy!

Q. What do you call 288 frogs in a box?
A. Two Gross!

Q. What do Kermit The Frog and Alexander The Great have in common?
A. Their middle name.

Two frogs were discussing their European ancestry. The first frog says, "So, you're Norwegian?" The other froge replies, "No, I'm a tad Pole."

Q. How was the tenor frog's performance at the opera house?
A. Absolutely ribbeting.

Q. Which kind of beer do frogs and toads like best?
A. IPA 'cause it's so hoppy.

Gal Pal: Wanna try these frog legs?
Blonde: I'll pass. Frog legs make me too jumpy.

Q. Why did that toad go to prison?
A. He robbed the local riverbank.

Q. What is a frog's favorite place to eat?

Q. What does a frog order at a fast food restaurant along with his French flies?
A. Croak-a-cola.

Q. What do frogs like to drink in the fall?
A. Hot croak-o.

Q. Which cookbook do frogs use most ofter?
A. Betty Croaker.

Q. Which kind of cooker should you use to make frog legs?
A. A croak pot.

Q. What do frogs order at Italian restaurants?
A. Ribbitoni.

Q. What do frogs order at French restaurants?
A. Snails.

Customer: Do you have frog legs?
Waiter: Yes, sir.
Customer: We'll hop on over here and bring me a grilled cheese sandwich.

Customer: Do you have frog legs today?
Waiter: No, sir. I always walk this way.

Q. How does a sea captain use amphibians? A. As frog horns.

Q. What does
a frog do
when his car breaks down?

A. He calls a
toad truck!

Q. What does a Romulan frog use for camouflage? A. A croaking device!

Q. What kind of music do sophisticated frogs listen to?
A. H-opera!

Q. What did the frog say when his newt friend said, Time flies when you're having fun?
A. No! It's "Time's fun when you're having flies!"

Q. Which kind of frog has horns?
A. A Bullfrog.

Q. What is a wealthy frog called?
A. A gold-blooded amphibian.

Q. Why was the frog's love life such a disaster?
A. She was afraid of Kermitment.

Q. What costume did the frog wear on Halloween?
A. Prince Charming.

Q. What does a frog say when he's pleasuring himself?
A. Rub it, rub it.

Q. What does a frog do when his car breaks down?
A. He gets a jump start.

Q. What do you say when you stop for a hitchhiking frog?
A. Hop In.

Q. Why is a pig crossed with a frog the most magical animal?
A. 'Cause you get Hogwarts.

Q. Which kind of shoes do stylish frogs wear during the summer?
A. Open-toad sandals.

Q. Which kind of amphibian hangs from the ceiling at Christmas time?
A. Mistle-toad.

Q. Which kind of amphibian blasts off from a launch pad?
A. Missile-toad.

Q. What happened after the bunny-less hares adopted a frog?
A. He could only speak Rabbit.

Q. Which sci-fi film series is every fog's faavorite?
A. Star Warts.

Q. Who is Batfrog's arch enemy?
A. The Croaker.

Q. What do stylish sci-fi frogs wear?
A. Jumpsuits.

Q. Why are frogs so good at basketball?
A. They always make the jump shots.

Q. How did a frog win a gold medal at the Olympics?
A. He aced the long jump.

Q. How do frog's secretly communicate over long distances?
A. They use Morse Toad.

Q. What did the drunken frogs drink at the pub?
A. Hops Scotch.

Toadie Pick-Up Line: Hey bae, can my tadpoles come over to swim in your pond?

Q. Why was
the tadpole
so lonely?

A. 'Cause he
was newt
to the area.

Gnome overnight parking! Violators --> (toad)

Q. What
happens when two nervous
frog collide?

A. They get tounge-tied.

A guy walks into a bar with a small salamander on his shoulder. Bartender asks, "What do you call that?" Guy replies, "Oh I call him Tiny, because he's my newt."

Q. What do bratty teenagers and frogs have in common?
A. Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth.

Q. Which kind of car did frogs prefer during the '50s, '60s, and '70s?
A. VW Beetles.

Q. What do you hear if you cross a frog and a rooster?
A. Croak-a-doodle-do!

Q. Which kind of candy do frogs enjoy the most?
A. Lollihops.

Q. What do you get if you cross a frog and a pig?
A. A lifetime ban from the Muppet Show and PBS.

Q. When is your car just like a frog?
A. When it's being toad!

Q. Which day do frogs celebrate every four years?
A. Leap Day in a Leap Year.

Q. How do taods navigate around in San Francisco Bay?
A. They use frog horns.

Q. What happened to the loco frog in Waco, Texas?
A. He jumped off the deep end.

Hoppy Thought of the Day: Have you heard about the new craft beer brewed by frogs, rabbits, and kangaroos? It's really full of hops.

Q. What sort of music do frogs and toadies croak about?
A. Hip hop.

Q. What job does a frog do in skyscrapper construction?
A. He's a ribbiter.

Q. Why are frogs great outfielders?
A. Because they never miss a fly!

Q. How can you tell a frog is enthusiastic?
A. He jumps on the bandwagon.

Q. Why is a frog scarier than a black cat on Halloween?
A. The cat has nine lives, but the frog croaks every night.

Q. Which fairy tale do warty toads like?
A. Ghoul-di-locks and the Three Scares.

Q. What do you call an illegally parked frog?
A. Toad!

Q. What does a frog say when it sees something really terrific?
A. Toad-ally Awesome!

Q. Where do frogs hang their hats and coats?
A. In the croak room.

Q. How would you describe the new frog documentary on NatGeo?
A. Ribbiting.

| Frog Jokes and Toad Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Snake Humor | 2 | 3 | Dinosaur Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
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