We attended a turtle puns class yesterday, but it tortoise nothing!   PainfulPuns.com - Animal Puns, Wildlie Humor, Beary Funny Jokes!

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Q What do you get if you cross a turtle and a porcupine? A. A Slow Poke!
Turtle Pick-Up Line: I'd stick my neck out for you!


Terrapin Jokes, Shell Puns, Sea Turtle Humor
Crawl along with turtle disaster puns, short shell-ebrity humor, and slow-moving tortoise jokes.

Land Turtle Jokes, Terrapin Puns, Tortoise Humor
(Because Turtleneck Jokes and Shell Block Sea Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream When It's Time To Shell-abrate!)
Warning: Proceed with Care! Shell shock tortoise jokes, shell of a body LOLs, and shell-ebrated turtle puns ahead.
| Turtle Jokes, Tortoise Puns | 2 | 3 | Lizard Laughs | Crocodile Jokes, Gator Puns | Reptile Humor |
| Hiss-terical Snake Jokes, Boa Puns | Dinosaur Jokes, Jurassic Puns | Frog Jokes and Toad Puns |
| Insect Jokes, Bug Puns | Bee Puns| Butterfly Jokes, Moth Puns | Housefly Humor | Spider Jokes |

Q. What do you call a famous turtle? A. A shellebrity!
Q. What does a turtle do on its birthday? A. It shellabrates!
Turtle Pick-Up Line: Did anyone ever tell you you've got one shell of a body?

Q. What makes a sea turtle laugh?
A. Shelly puns.

Q. What do you call a newly-hatched baby terrapin?
A. Squirt-all.

Q. What do you call an exceptionally large tortoise?
A. A Tur-tall.

Q. What happens when you party with turtles?
A. You have a shell of a good time.

Q. Which kind of turtle likes choclate layer cake with frosting?
A. A torte-ice.

Q. What do you call a really dumb tortoise joke?
A. Tur-dull.

Q. Why don't terrapins ever forget the facts?
A. 'Cause they have turtle recall.

Q. How do terrapins travel around the city of Chicago?
A. They ride the Turt-El.

Q. Where do tortoises rent a truck when they're relocating?
A. Turd Haul.

Q. What do you call a turtle chef? A. A slow cooker!
Q. Where do you send turtles that commit crimes? A. To Shell Block C!
Q. What do you get if you cross a tortoise and a pig? A. A slow pork!

Q. What is another name for turtle drool?
A. Terra-spit.

Q. Which kind of reptile poops the most?
A. The Turd-all.

Q. What do you call a crying pet tortoise?
A. Tear-tle.

Q. What do you call a tortoise that's doing time in the state penn?
A. Stir-tle.

Q. What is the scariest turtle on land or at sea?
A. The Terror-pin.

Q. Where do habitual criminal turtles do time?
A. In shell block sea.

Q. What do you call an nervous tortoise that worries about everything?
A. A turtle wreck.

Q. What do you call a tortoise on wheels?
A. Tire-tle.

Q. What do you call turtle fake news?
A. Terra-Spin.

Q. What do you call a truck-load of tortoises that crash into a traib-load of terrapins? A. A turtle disaster!
Q. What do you call a turtle that flies? A. A shell-i-copter!
Turtle Pick-Up Loine: You look shy? Let me help you come out of your shell!

Q. What do you call a tortoise that can run quickly for only a short time?
A. Spurt-le.

Terrapin Point to Ponder: If a turtle loses its shell, is it naked, or homeless?

Q. Which turtle weighs the same on land or in the sea?
A. The Tare-a-pin.

Q. Which western tortoise is known to cause wild horses to stampede?
A. The Spur-tle.

Q. Where can you find tortoise poop?
A. In a turd hole.

Q. What do you get when you cross a dairy cow with a turtle?
A. A Curd-all.

Q. How does a turtle feel after being electrocuted? A. Shell-shocked!
Q. What do you gt if you cross a turtle and a giraffe? A. A Turtleneck!
Q. What does a turtle need when riding a bike? A. A shellmet!

Q. How did the terrapins feel after a hurricane ripped through their bay?
A. Turtle-y devastated.

Q. Where do fishermen store terrapins aboard ship?
A. In the turt-hold.

Q. What do you call a terrapin that speaks using contractions?
A. Tur 'Til.

Q. What is a great profession for a snapping turtle?
A. Photographer.

Q. Where do tortoises find great bargains on previously owned goods?
A. At the re-shell store.

Q. Where do terrapi college students reside during their first year at school?
A. Turt Hall.

Q. Where do turtles broadcast the rush hour traffic report?
A. From a shell-icoptor.

Q. Which shelly reptile wears special attire while performing its dance routine?
A. The tard-tle.

Q. What do you call an image-concious terrapin who's wearing a shell that sizes too small?
A. A Girdle.

| Turtle Jokes, Tortoise Puns | 2 | 3 | Lizard Laughs | Crocodile Jokes, Gator Puns | Reptile Humor |
| Frog Jokes and Toad Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Snake Humor | 2 | 3 | Dinosaur Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
| Insect Jokes, Bug Puns, Entomology LOLs | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Bee Jokes, Hive Humor, Wasp LOLs | 2 |
| Butterfly Jokes, Moth Puns, Caterpillar LOLs | Housefly Jokes | Spider Jokes, Arachnid Puns | 2 |
Gorilla Jokes, Big Ape Puns | 2 | 3 | Bigfoot Jokes | Sasquatch Jokes | Colorado Bigfoot Jokes |
| Chimpanzee Puns | Monkey Jokes | 2 |
| 4 | Stoner Monkeys | Animal Potheads | Animal Bar |

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