After Punching His Computer and Breaking His Hand, the Guy Required Tech Knuckle Support.   PainfulPuns.com - Job Jokes, Funny Occupations, Work Whoas?

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Q. How is Christmas just like your job? A. You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit!
I got fired from my job as a software engineer. I just couldn't get with the program.
The police want to interview me? Strange, I didn't even apply for a job there!
Q. What do actors suffer from after starring in an intense role? A. Post-dramatic stress!
Q. Who do pirates call if they break a leg? A. Their Carrrpenter!
Q. Which insect really bugs your locksmith? A. A Mosquito!

 


Job Jokes, Occupation Puns, Profession Humor
Pick your new position from job jokes, hourly wage work humor, and occupational hazards.

Work Humor, On the Job Jokes, Career Puns
('Cause Work Jokes and Occupation Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream at NOT Funny Jobs That Don't Pay Well!)
Warning: Proceed to HR at Your Own Risk! Take your break, but remember the cameras are always on!
| Actor Jokes | Artist Puns | Astronaut Puns | Athlete Jokes | Author Puns | Auto Mechanic Jokes |
| Baker Jokes | Banker Jokes | Barber Jokes | Bartender Jokes | Chef Jokes | Chemist Jokes |
| Cowboy Jokes | Criminal Puns | Dentist Jokes | Doctor Jokes | Electrician Jokes | Eye Doc Puns |
| Farmer Jokes | Home Contractor Jokes | Landlord Puns | Lawyer Jokes | Locksmith Puns |
| Magician Puns | Musician Jokes | Optician Puns | Plumber Puns | Police Jokes | Psychic Jokes |
| Scientist Jokes | Shrink Puns | Superhero | Teacher Jokes | Tech Support | Weatherman Humor |
| Job Jokes, Career Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |

Crusty, ill-tempered baker was a scone's throw from becoming toast.Crappy Pun: Old Sewage Workers Never Die, They Just Waste Away. Orthopedist claims working with fractures isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Q. Why was the baker so grumpy?
A. He woke up on the wrong side of the bread!

Q. Why was the baker in a panic?
A. Because he was in a loaf or death situation.

Q. What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine's Day?
A. A hug and a quiche.

Q. Which trait does a comedian baker knead to tell funny bread jokes?
A. A rye sense of humor.

Q. Why are bread jokes always so funny?
A. They never get mold.

Q. What is the one thing you'll never see your plumber do?
A. Bite his nails!

Q. What do you call a person who picks plums?
A. A Plumber!

Q. What's the difference between a bodybuilder and a plumber?
A. A plumber's pipes always stay hard.

Q. Why did the sewage worker wear glasses?
A. Because he couldn't see shit without them!

There's one more great sewage worker joke, but we're going to leave it out because the punch line really stinks.

Q. How many orthopedists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Why don't you just take out the socket? You're not using it anyway.

Q. What is it called when orthopedic surgeons lose their medical licenses?
A. Unorthodocs.

Q. Why shouldn't you lie to an x-ray tech?
A. Because they can see right through you.

Q. What do you call two orthopedic doctors reading an EKG?
A. A double blind study.

Q. Did you hear about the circumcision doctor?
A. He slipped and got the sack.

An optometrist fell into a lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself.I used to sell computer parts, but then I lost my drive.I tried looking for gold, but it didn't pan out.

Q. Why did the optometrist give his new patients Magic Eye puzzles?
A. As an eyes breaker.

Q. What do you get if you cross an optometrist convention and a donkey auction?
A. Two eye-gl-asses for the price of one.

Q. What did the optometrist say to the patient with three eyes?
A. Aye, Aye, Aye.

Q. Who is Transylvania's most famous optometrist?
A. Count Macula!

Beware of programmers that carry screwdrivers.

Q. Why did the software developer go broke?
A. Because he used up all his cache.

Q. Why was the guy fired from the keyboard factory?
A. He wasn't putting in enough shifts!

Q. What was the hipster doing at the computer?
A. Looking in the recycle bin for something retro.

Q. How did the old hacker die?
A. In a phishing accident.

Q. Why did the geologist's wife leave him?
A. He took her for granite.

Q. What do you get if you toss a piano down a mine shaft?
A. A Flat Minor.

Q. Which kind of gold is afraid of spiders?
A. A Chicken Nugget.

Q. How do you confuse a miner?
A. Hand him two shovels and tell him to take his pick.

Q. Which musician do miners like best?
A. Coltrane.

After the Butcher Backed Into His Meat Grinder, He Got a Little Behind in His Work.What did the religious owner of a pest control company say to inspire his employees? "Brothers and sisters, let us spray."A baker stopped making donuts because he got tired of the hole thing!

Q. What did the grill master say to the vegan?
A. Sorry, I can't listen to your rantings right now, while more important things are at steak.

Q. Who is a T-bone steak's all time favorite movie director?
A. Sizzle B. DeMille.

Q. After the first beef hamburger press was invented and became successful, what was the inventor given?
A. A patty on the back.

Q. Which kind of insect takes a lot of pictures?
A. A Shutterbug.

Q. How did the spider hacker destroy the World Wide Web?
A. He gave it a bug.

Q. What is a mosquito's favorite sport?
A. Skin Diving.

Q. What do you call an ant that just won't go away?
A. Perman-ant.

Q. What happened when the pastry chef's wife came home early?
A. She caught him master baking.

Q. Why don't people like working at a bakery?
A. Because it's a crumby place to work.

Q. Why was the baker fired?
A. He was always loafing around.

Q. What did they say about the old baker's favorite song?
A. It's a moldie, but a goodie!

Horsing Around: If ya wanna make money as a comedian, you gotta have a cents of humor.Did you hear about the opticican? Two glasses, and he made a spectacle of himself.

Q. Do old comedian butchers ever die?
A. No, they just go on cutting up.

Q. What do you call a joke that you choke on?
A. A Gag.

Q. What do they serve for lunch at the comedian workshop?
A. Hot dog puns.

Q. How do you describe a jocular sewage joker?
A. Pun Gent!

Q. What didn't the comedian tell painful puns about gym socks?
A. Because they would stink!

Q. Do old bosses ever die?
A. No, no matter how much you wish they would.

See, Opticians are not just in it because they have specs appeal!

Q. Why did a woman go to the optician to return a pair of glasses she bought for her husband?
A. He still wasn't seeing things her way.

It's clear to see that opticians are not just in it for the frame and fortune!

Q. What's an apt punishment for an optician that made funky glasses?
A. Give him 20 lashes.

Q. What was the lens's excuse to the cop?
A. I've been framed!

Q. What happened after one office worker began wearing professional business attire to work?
A. Everybody else followed suit.

Biker dude wants a pizza her!

Customer: Do you have spaghetti on the menu today?
Waiter: No, I cleaned it off.

Q. Why couldn't the chef get into the Italian restaurant?
A. He had gnocchi.

Q. Do old cheesemongers ever die?
A. Nah, they just smell that way.

Q. How does pizza introduce itself to you?
A. Slice to meet you!

Pizza is the only love triangle the Italian chef was interested in.

Q. What happened when the employee was unexpectedly transferred to the London office?
A. He had to get a move on.

| Job Jokes, Career Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |
| Actor Jokes | Artist Puns | Astronaut Puns | Athlete Jokes | Author Puns | Auto Mechanic Jokes |
| Baker Jokes | Banker Jokes | Barber Jokes | Bartender Jokes | Chef Jokes | Chemist Jokes |
| Cowboy Jokes | Criminal Puns | Dentist Jokes | Doctor Jokes | Electrician Jokes | Eye Doc Puns |
| Farmer Jokes | Home Contractor Jokes | Landlord Puns | Lawyer Jokes | Locksmith Puns |
| Magician Puns | Musician Jokes | Optician Puns | Plumber Puns | Police Jokes | Psychic Jokes |
| Scientist Jokes | Shrink Puns | Superhero | Teacher Jokes | Tech Support | Weatherman Humor |

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You're still workin' it, so here's even more water cooler laughter,
workplace humor, job jokes and painful puns for a break on your work day:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Blonde Jokes | Batman Puns | Bodybuilder Jokes | Crap Puns | Denver Jokes | Fashion Jokes | Hipster Jokes |
| Light Bulb Jokes | Monday Jokes | Pirate Jokes | Pick-Up Lines | OMG! Religion Jokes | Sax and Violins Puns |
| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Humor | Sports Jokes | Travel Jokes | UFO Jokes | Funny Weed Jokes | Zombie Jokes |

Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns Edible Puns, Fun with Food Sick Puns, Healthy Laughs
Bartender Puns, Bar Humor Old Jokes & Old Never Die Puns Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

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