Q. What's the main problem with police jokes?
A. Cops don't think they're funny, and private citizens are afraid to laugh at them!

Q. Why did the police officer cry after making the arrest?
A. It was a moving violation.

Q. What do you call a blonde policeman?
A. A fair cop!

Q. What do you do when your chair breaks?
A. Call your chairman.

Q. Why did the guy get fired from his job at the clock factory?
A. For all the extra hours he put in.

Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory?
A. Because she threw all the Ws away.

Q. Why did the miserly banker always count his money with his toes?
A. Because he didn't want the money to slip through his fingers.

Q. Why did the banker give up riding his bicycle?
A. Because he lost his balance.

Q. What do you call a banker who is all by himself?
A. A Loan.

Q. How do we know hair brushes like these painful hair stylist puns.
A. They keep combing back!

Q. What do you call a bad comb-over?
A. Hair-layer-ious!

Q. What award did the blonde hair stylist get?
A. Home-Combing Queen.

Q. What do you call it when you have a high-paying job, but you get injured all the time?
A. Painfully employed.

Oops, the experiment blew up! Well, oxidants happen.

Q. What do you call it when a meteorologist predicts wind speeds?
A. A best gust-imate.

Q. Why couldn't the magician pull a quarter out of the blonde's ear?
A. Because there's no cents in there.

Q. Why did the magician decide to quit drinking?
A. Because every time he walked down the street he turned into a bar.

Q. What do you call a lawyer magician?
A. Sue-dini.

Q. What is the philosophy of the hottest plastic surgeons?
A. If life gives you lemons, we can give you melons.

Q. What did the man ask the x-ray technician after swallowing some money?
A. "Do you see any change in me?"

When the hospital gives you one of those skimpy gowns, you know the end is in sight.

Q. Which salesman has the slickest line?
A. The rep for KY Jelly.

Q. How much does a realtor need to know to sell vacant land?
A. Lots and lots.

Salesman: That suit fits you like a bandage.
Customer: Yeah, I bought it by accident.

Q. How do you describe a jocular sewage joker?
A. Pun Gent!

Q. What did the plumber say when he broke up with his girlfriend?
A. It's over, Flo!

Q. Why did the cop sit on the toilet?
A. To do his duty.

Q. How many eye doctors does it take to replace a light bulb?
A. Hmm... One, or Two?

Q. What is an eye doctor's favorite band?
A. The Black Eyed Peas.

Q. What is an eye doctor's favorite dessert?
A. Eyes Cream!

Q. How can you tell you've found the best dentist?
A. He's Ahh-Some!

A good dentist is a little picky, but a great dentist never gets on your nerves!

Q. What did the dentist do while riding a roller coaster?
A. He braced himself!

Neurotics build castles in the sky.
Psychotics live in them.
Psychiatrists collect the rent!

Q. What did the shrink say to the man with an elephant on his head?
A. "You have a lot on your mind."

Q. What is a shrink's favorite day of the week?
A. Freud Day!

Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon!

Join us on social media and please feel free to share our memes with friends and family:

©2017-2021 Painfulpuns.com All rights reserved.