Sports bar joke: A soccer ball walks into a bar. The bartender kicked him out! - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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The bodybuilder knew he was in love after experiencing strong feelings!
The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs!
Q. Which insect never plays quarterback? A. The Fumble Bee!
Q. Why did the gym close down? A. It just wasn't working out!
Q. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of shoes? A. in case he gets a hole in one!


Sports Jokes, Athlete Humor, Painful Punts
Play along with winning sports puns, sporty humor, and good sport jokes that score big laughs.

Sports Humor, Winning Puns, Coached Jokes
('Cause Pro Sports Stats Are Common. Jock Humor and Athletic Supporter Jokes Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream!)
Warning: Coaches, Proceed According to Rules! Pun violations, sports jokes, and good sportsmanship ahead.
| Sports Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | Sports Pick-Up Lines |
| Baseball Jokes | 2 | Basketball Puns | Bodybuilder Jokes | Bowling Jokes | Hit Boxing LOLs |
| Fishing Puns | Fitness Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Golf Jokes | Gym Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Gnome Gym |
| Running Jokes | Soccer Jokes | Sports Animal Jokes | Swimming Jokes | Tennis Jokes |
| NFL Football Jokes | Go Broncos! | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Colorado Sports Humor | Skiing Jokes |

I used to be a marathon runne, but couldn't stand the agony of de feet.Q. What Did the Coach Say to His Losing Team of Snakes? A. You Can't Venom All!Just Say Gnome to Steroids!

Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!

Q. What did the hotdog say when it won the marathon?
A. I'm a Wiener!

Q. How do insanely fast runners go through the forest?
A. They take the psychopath!

Q. What is the creepiest thing about joggers?
A. They're always the ones who discover the dead body.

Q. What do you call a married couple who compete in the marathon side-by-side?
A. Running mates.

Q. What did his wife give the guy when he came home all sweaty from his run?
A. The stink eye.

Q. Why did the coach lecture the locker room vending machine at halftime?
A. He wanted his quarter back.

Q. What was Dracula's title after he won out over his bloody stiff sportsman competitors?
A. The Champ-ire!

Q. Why didn't the dinosaur go to the gym?
A. 'Cause he did not believe in the survival of the fittest. OUCH!

Q. What do you call a high-ranking military officer taking part in a multi-game sports contest?
A. A tourney general.

Q. What do you call a pro boxer who pouts after being badly beaten?
A. A sore loser.

Q. How does a physicist exercise?
A. By pumping ion!

Q. What do you get when you cross a bodybuilder and a peeping Tom?
A. Amazing Peeks.

Q. What do you call a spaced-out donkey on steroids?
A. Ass-teroid.

Q. Which sports team do wine lovers always root for?
A. The Reds!

Q. Which kind of sports league is made up solely of poets?
A. Semi-prose.

Q. Why is it hard to miss the pumped up muscleman standing over there?
A. Because he's burly recognizable.

Good Sport Tip of the Day: If anabolic steroids cause erectile dysfunction, just say NO to drugs!

Q. What lights up a soccer stadium? A. A soccer match!Q. Why didn't the dog want to play football? A. He was a Boxer!Q. Why aren't fish good tennis players? A. They don't like getting close to the net!

Q. What are successful kickers always trying to achieve?
A. Real goals!

Q. Why don't grasshoppers attend many soccer games?
A. They prefer cricket matches!

Q. Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team?
A. Because she ran away from the ball! 

Goalie Fact of the Day: Soccer is 90% mental. The other half is physical. Yeah, the head took another hit today, and I'm not talking about weed.

Q. What do you get when you cross a running back and the Invisible Man?
A. Scoring like no one has ever seen!

Q. Why was a tiny ghost invited to play on the football squad?
A. They needed a little team spirit.

Q. Why didn't the crappy NFL football team have a website?
A. 'Cause they couldn't manage three Ws in a row.

Q. When should football players wear armor?
A. Only when they play knight games.

Q. Why were the pro tennis player's neighbors so upset?
A. Because she always made such a big racquet.

Q. How can you tell your tennis opponent isn't happy with your serve?
A. He keeps returning it!

Did you hear about the tennis ball and battery that got into a fight? The battery was charged and the tennis ball is waiting to go to court.

Q. Why do some people dislike tennis?
A. Because it's a wacky sport.

Strong aging cheese failed to medal at the olympics, because it tripped at the final curdle.A guy at the gym fell off the treadmill because he wasn't exercising caution!Marathon runners with bad footwear, suffer the agony of da feet.

A book never written: How To Win the Olympics by Vick Tori.

Q. Why couldn't the olympian listen to music?
A. Because he broke the record!

A book never written: The Olympic Trials by Will E. Qualify

Q. Why won't Cinderella ever medal at the Olympics?
A. She has a pumpkin for a coach, plus she runs away from the ball.

Gym Pick-Up Line: You must be a track star because you've been running through my mind all day!

The only exercise I've done this month is running out of money.

Workout Wisecrack: Remember, your brain needs exercise, too. So, spend lots of time thinking up excuses not to work out.

Gym Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, let's do lunge!

Did you realize that Dr. Frankenstein was actually the first bodybuilder?

Marathon pun readers suffer in agony, as well. Ouch!

Q. What did the blonde runner drink when she was in last place?
A. Ketchup.

Did you hear about the blonde marathon runner who ran for an hour, but only ran two feet? Well, Duh! She only had two feet!

Q. Who was the absolute fastest runner of all time?
A. Adam. He was the first in the human race.

Q. What did the dentist say to the hockey player? A. You have nice even teet. Unfortunately, you're missing 1, 3, and 5!Gnome Fishing Allowed!Golf ball says: If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt!

Q. Why was the magician such a great hockey player?
A. Because he always had a hat trick!

Q. Why do hockey player work in bakeries during the off season?
A. Because they're great at icing!

Q. What do angry hockey players say after getting tripped?
A. No More Mister Ice Guy!

Q. What does a skeleton drive into a hockey game?
A. The Zam-Bony!

Gnome fishing? For what?

Q. Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing?
A. Just for the halibut!

Q. What do romantic fishermen sing on a romantic date?
A. Salmon Chanted Evening...

Q. What is a trout's main goal?
A. To keep his daughter off the pole.

Q. What do you call a small fish magician in a fish bowl?
A. A magic carpet.

Q. Why did the guy who stinks at golf still play every weekend?
A. To bug his wife; she thinks he's out having fun.

Q. What's the difference between driving in golf and driving a car?
A. When you're driving a car, you don't want to hit anything.

Q. How many golfers does it take to change a light bulb?

Q. Why do golfers hate the game Hearts?
A. Because all they ever get are Clubs!

| Sports Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | Sports Pick-Up Lines |
| Baseball Jokes | 2 | Basketball Puns | Bodybuilder Jokes | Bowling Jokes | Hit Boxing LOLs |
| Fishing Puns | Fitness Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Golf Jokes | Gym Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Gnome Gym |
| Running Jokes | Soccer Jokes | Sports Animal Jokes | Swimming Jokes | Tennis Jokes |
| NFL Football Jokes | Go Broncos! | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Colorado Sports Humor | Skiing Jokes |

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