Please stop checking your watch all the time. That's very
Caddie: Sir, it's not a watch; it's a compass.
How can you tell it's too wet on the course to play golf?
A. Your golf cart capsizes.
Why didn't the skeleton like to play golf?
A. His heart just was not in it.
What does it mean when your golf partner can't remember
if he shot a five or a six?
A. Likely, he shot a seven.
What ultimately makes a great golfer?
A. A driving ambition.
Which sport is the first to be mentioned in the Bible?
A. Baseball. Genesis says: In the big inning.
Why do flashy transvestites just love baseball games?
A. 'Cause diamonds are a girl's best friend.
you hear about the former baseball player who's now a standup
comedian? He fouls the crowd over and leaves them all in
What has 18 legs, spits, and catches flies?
A. A baseball team.
Why don't male cattle like baseball?
A. Because of the bullpens.
Joke of the Day: If you notice bodybuilders at the gym getting
erections while they work it, don't freak out. It's just
called: "Bulking Up."
What do you call the punishment the crook was given, where
he had to run on a treadmill while in lockup?
A. A run-on sentence.
and Flexible Joke of the Day: Doing yoga got me out of the
habit of biting my fingernails. Now, I bite my toenails.
Up Pick-Up Line: Hey big
guy, is there an exotic vet around here? 'Cause your pythons