Best way to choose which beer to drink: a case by case basis   PainfulPuns.com - Bartender Puns, Beer Jokes, Bar Humor!

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Q. How many brewers does it take to change alight bulb? A. One-third less than for a regular bulb!
Beer-drinking chimps says: When my friend fell asleep at the bar, I poured ale on him. It was a brewed awakening!
Q. What does a vampire on a diet drink? A. Blood Light!
Pitcher of beer says: I don't drink to forget. I drink beause beer is delicious. Forgetting is just a bonus!
You might be from Colorado if you enjoy craft beers with punny names!
Bear walks into a bar: "I'll have a beer ... and some peanuts." Bartender asks: "Why the big paws?"

 


Beer Jokes, Ale-Ful Puns, Beer Drinking Humor
Chug a round of hoppy beer jokes, brewery humor, a keg of cold laughs and ale-ful pub puns.

Funny Beer Puns, Ale Jokes, Beer Lovers Humor
(Because Flat Beer Jokes Are TOO Mainstream and It's Always Happy Hour or Hoppy Hour Here, or Somewhere?)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Risk! There's no legal limit on beer jokes, h-ale-acious puns, and brewed farts.
| Beer Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Colorado Craft Beer Jokes | Beer IS Better! | Bartender Puns | 2 | 3 |
| Cocktail Jokes | 2 | 3 | Spirited Liquor Puns | Vodka Jokes | Wry Whiskey Jokes | Drunk Puns |
| Wine Jokes, Vino Puns | 2 | 3 | Beverage Puns | Soda Funny | Coffee Puns, Java Jokes | 2 |
| Animal Walks Into the Bar Jokes | Space Bar Puns, Sci-Fi Bartender Jokes | Drunken Gnomes |
| Bar Jokes, Drinking Humor, Brewed Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Bar Pick-Up Lines |

Chimp remarks: Beer doesn't make you fat. It makes you lean...on tables, chairs, and random people!Beer glass quips: Life and beer are veryy similar. Chill for best results!Chimp looking at beer bottle says: Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder!

Beer is not the answer. Beer is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

Trust me, you can dance.
– Beer.

Q. How is a beer better than a woman?
A. A beer doesn't get jealous if you grab another beer.

Beer Factoid: IPA lot when I drink beer.

Q. Why did the new Colorado craft brewer get so famous so fast?
A. He was lager than life.

Q. What is it called when there's a big ruckus in a craft beer pub about a Painful beer Pun?
A. A real brew ha ha!

Beergasm: The climactic moment when you take the first sip at the end of the day.

Q. How is a beer better than a woman?
A. Beer won't get mad if you come home with beer on your breath!

Sick of beer? That's like being sick of breathing!

Q. Why did the new craft beer bar sponsor a ladies fast-pitch team?
A. Just for the publicity.

Brewed Fact of the Day: It's no coincidence that beer rhymes with cheer.

Q. What do you call a crafty magician who makes beer?
A. Brew-Dini.

Q. Why did the tech guy prefer Colorado craft beer?
A. Because his head is in the cloud.

Our house has an open door policy. Bring beer, and we'll open the door.

Q. What did the winning team say when they went to the brew pub to celebrate?
A. Everybody, Group Chug!

Q. Why do rabbits prefer IPA?
A. Because it's hoppy.

Clue You're Drinking a Sudsy Craft Beer: For some reason, it's sold in the detergent aisle.

A beer walked into the bar. How weird is that, considering it's usually trucked in?

Shakespeare walks into a bar and asks for a beer. Bartender replies: "I can't serve you. You're Bard."Monkey looking at beer bottle says: I decide which beer to drink on a case by case basis!Kangaroo asks: What happened after the kangaroo drank beer? A He was all hopped up!

Q. Which kind of beer chronicles everything about itself online?
A. A Logger Beer.

Q. Why did it take the blonde guy a whole week to topple his heady beer?
A. 'Cause foam wasn't spilt in a day!

To beer or not to beer. That is the question.
– Shakesbeer.

A baseball flies into a brew pub, and the bartender throws him out...

Beer Troubleshooting: If your singing sounds worse than usual, this craft beer is weaker than the usual. So, just try a different brew.

Q. Why don't mathematicians serve beer at their parties?
A. Because you can't drink and derive.

Beer Lover Fact of the Day: I drink beer because I just don't like keeping things bottled up.

Do I want a beer?
A. Yes.
B. A.
C. B.

Vitamin B. You mean Beer?

Brewed Fact of the Day: In the USA, Moosehead is a beer. In Canada, moosehead is a misdemeanor. Eh, Ew!

You ordered me a Pilsner? You know I like hoppy beer!

Q. What is an author's choice alcoholic beverage when writing the first version of a new piece?
A. Draft beer!

Dinosaurs had no beer. How did that work out?

Q. How is a beer better than a woman?
A. A beer never gets a headache, although it may give you a headache in the morning.

Beer Label Warning: Consuming too much beer may cause you to brew up the newest asshat viral dance move.

Chimp says: Love has four letters, but then again, so does beer!I used to work for Budweiser, but then I got canned.Puzzled chimp says: He said his non-alcoholic beer was delicioius, but I said he had no proof!

Today's Heady Beer Thought: Just Brew It!

Q. How do your lips greet your beer?
A. Hi baby, I'm so glad to see brew again.

Q. Which kind of beer does a Canadian drink while using the toilet?
A. I pee, eh.

Clue You're Drinking a Crappy Craft Beer: It tastes more like a mountain goat than like a mountain stream.

Brewed Fact of the Day: I love you more than beer, and I really love beer.

Beer Lover's Trivia: The earliest known recipe in history is for beer!

Hopped Up Point to Ponder: How can beer make you dumb, if it made Budweiser?

I used to drink all brands of beer. Now, I am older Budweiser!

Q. How is a beer better than a woman?
A. You can share a beer with a friend!

Two cannibals walk into a bar and sit next to a clown drinking a beer. First cannibal whacks the clown on the head, and they both start eating the clown. Suddenly, the second cannibal looks up and says, "Hey, do you taste something funny?"

Beery Funny Joke of the Day: I like my water with barley and hops.

I've learned to use meditation and relaxation to handle stress. Just kidding. I'm on my third glass of beer.

Q. In Colorado, what is it called when you're stuck in a polar vortex without any beer?
A. Cold sober.

Brewmeister Fact: Chocolate is amazing. And, chocolate beer is no exception!

Clue You're Drinking a Crude Craft Beer: The brewery isn't running a sweepstakes, but under every bottle cap it says, "Sorry!"

Beer Point to Ponder: If you put root beer in a square mug, do you get beer?

Pitcher of beer asks: How does a man show he's planning for the future? A. He buys two cases of beer instead of just one!Chimp joshes: My doctor said I need to watch my drinking. So now I drink in front of a mirror!Fish says: Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day!

Q. How is a beer better than a woman?
A. A beer always goes down easy!

Beer Lover's Point to Ponder: It's I before E – unless it's Budweiser, caffeine, or codeine. Coincidence, or not?

Q. What do beer drinkers and necrophiliacs have in common?
A. Both enjoy cracking open a cold one.

Brew Pub Point to Ponder: Is it beer thirty yet?

Q. Why do blondes prefer sudsy beer puns?
A. Because they like good, clean humor.

Q. How is a beer better than a woman?
A. If you pour a beer well, you always get good head.

Beer Troubleshooting: If you don't recognize anybody and don't know what room you're in, you may have stumbled into the wrong party. So, just see if they have free beer.

Q. Which kind of beer do Star Trek TOS and TNG fans prefer?
A. Dos Trekkies.

My body is not a temple ... It is a microbrewery with legs.

Q. What did the dyslexic beer drinker order at the LoDo Denver craft beer pub?
A. A Large.

Q. What is the difference between a dog and a fox?
A. About a six pack.

Beer Drinking Point to Ponder: Beer Pong is a sport, right guys?

Q. How is a beer better than a woman?
A. You can't catch anything, other than a buzz, from a beer!

Beer Label Warning: Consuming too much beer may lead you to believe everybody is laughing WITH you.

Q. What do frozen beer, burnt pizza, and a pregnant woman have in common?
A. Some guy forgot to take it out in time!

Q. What is Locutus of Borg's favorite Pilsner style beer from Denmark?
A. Carlsborg.

Q. How is a beer better than a woman?
A. Beer likes to go fishing, plus beer never fishes for compliments!

Q. How is a beer better than a woman?
A. A beer is always wet.

I'm only gonna have one beer. At a time. Until all the beer is gone...

Beer Troubleshooting: If the floor is blurred, you must be looking through an empty glass. You need to order another beer.

Q. What did the guy think when the drunken ventriloquist said she wanted to sleep with the bartender?
A. He didn't know if it was she or the the beer talking.

Q. What were the highlights of the latest Super Bowl?
A. The ads, especially the beer ads!

Q. How is a beer better than a woman?
A. You can have a beer in public.

Q. Which beer does Chewbacca enjoy when he's anywhere near Wisconsin?
A. Milwookiee's Best!

| Beer Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Colorado Craft Beer Jokes | Beer IS Better! | Bartender Puns | 2 | 3 |
| Cocktail Jokes | 2 | 3 | Spirited Liquor Puns | Vodka Jokes | Wry Whiskey Jokes | Drunk Puns |
| Wine Jokes, Vino Puns | 2 | 3 | Beverage Puns | Soda Funny | Coffee Puns, Java Jokes | 2 |
| Animal Walks Into the Bar Jokes | Space Bar Puns, Sci-Fi Bartender Jokes | Drunken Gnomes |
| Bar Jokes, Drinking Humor, Brewed Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Bar Pick-Up Lines |
| Restaurant Jokes | Pizza Puns | Burger Jokes | Hot Dog Humor | Snack Puns | Munchies Jokes |


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