Wine Humor: Q. Which breed of dog can bring you a glass of red wine? A. The bordeaux vollie!   PainfulPuns.com - Bartender Puns, Beer Jokes, Bar Humor!

PainfulPuns Home
Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor
Bartender Puns, Bar Humor
Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes!

Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor
Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns
Edible Puns, Fun with Food
Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes
Garden Puns, Green Groaners
Gnome Puns Intended
Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns
Monstrously Funny Puns
Work Humor, Joking on the Job
Old Jokes & Old Never Die Puns
Painful Puns, Punny Funs
Pet Puns + Jokes = Funny Pet Peeves
Sharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-Ons
Funny Riddles, Punny Answers!
Sick Puns, Healthy Laughs
Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns
Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

And while you're here,
please take a moment to
visit our sponsors:

Q. What is a blonde's idea of a balanced diet? A. A glass of wine in each hand!
Wine Humor: Q. Which breed of dog can bring you a glass of red wine? A. The bordeaux vollie!
Wine humor: I'm not an alcoholic. Alcoholics need a glass of wine, but I already have one!
A raisin wined about not acheiving grapeness.
Lush Humor: Can you drink alcohol for breakfast? Wine not?

 


Vintage Wine Jokes, Grape Puns, Wino Humor
Find a Riesling to laugh with vine wine puns, fine vino laughs, and funny vintage wine jokes.

Tasty Wine Jokes, Pour Puns, Wine Lover Jokes
('Cause Sour Grapes Jokes and Wine-Stoned Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream If Your Wine Glass is Empty!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Peril! Glassy vino humor, bottled cheers jokes, and boxed wine puns ahead.
| Wine Jokes, Vino Puns | 2 | 3 | Beverage Puns | Soda Funny | Coffee Puns, Java Jokes | 2 |
| Spirited Liquor Puns | Vodka Jokes | Wry Whiskey Jokes | Cocktail Jokes | 2 | 3 | Drunk Puns |
| Beer IS Better! | Beer Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Colorado Craft Beer Jokes | Bartender Puns | 2 | 3 |
| Animal Walks Into the Bar Jokes | Space Bar Puns, Sci-Fi Bartender Jokes | Drunken Gnomes |
| Bar Jokes, Drinking Humor, Brewed Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Bar Pick-Up Lines |

Q. What is the world's most popular wine? A. I don't like Brussels sprouts!Wine lover's humor: Sometimes we all need a riesling to be cheerful!Q. What did a grape say when an elephant stepped on it? A. Nothing. It just let out a little whine.

Q. What do you call a basement full of upset women?
A. A whine cellar!

Wine is like opera. You can enjoy it even if you do not understand it.

Q. What is a pirate's favorite kind of wine?
A. Pinot Arrr.

Q. Which chest exercise keeps vintners in grape shape?
A. Wine press.

Vintage Factoid: For best results, only consume wine on days with the letter A in them.

Vino Fact of the Day: Wine drinkers make grape lovers!

Q. Which superpower do wine lovers possess?
A. The super ability to make wine disappear.

It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full. There's clearly room for more wine.

Q. What is a grape's favorite day of the week?
A. WinesDay!

Q. Why does the Champagne Diet so healthy?
A. Because it's gluten-free, fat-free, and dairy-free.

Wine Trivia: A Cork Retriever is not a dog from Ireland!

Q. What's the difference between a glass of wine and a beer-drinking man?
A. A glass of wine hits the spot every time!

Q. When is the proper time to uncork a bottle of fine?
A. At Wine O'Clock!

Q. Which dinosaur frequented vinyards?
A. The Winocerus!

Wine is the most healthful and most hygenc of beverages.
– Louis Pasteur.

Whoever served the wine at the banquet did a pour job.Fishy wine humor: If white wine goes with fish, what do white grapes go with? Sushi!Hangover: The Wrath of Grapes

Q. What is one clue you're a wine snob?
A. You can spell connoisseur without having to autocorrect it.

An atheist, a vegan, and a Crossfitter walk into a bar. I only know because they told everyone within the first three minutes.

Q. Why did the gallant guy rescue the wine?
A. Because it was trapped in a bottle!

I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out often, but I'm well preserved.
– Rose Kennedy.

Always drink a little wine before you cook with it. Nothing to do with flavor, but it does help to numb the anxiety of cooking for a crowd.

Q. How can you tell if you are a true wine enthusiast?
A. The more wine you sample, the more enthusiastic you get!

I drink straight out of the wine bottle while cooking. I think that's what they mean by reducing it!

I'm trying a new wine diet. So far, I've lost three days.

Q. When should you have your first glass of wine?
A. At wine o'clock.

I like to cook with wine. Sometimes, I even put it in the food.

Q. What did the happy red say to the sad white wine?
A. Hakuna Moscato.

Wine Says: Happy Red's Day!Glass of Wine Says: Wow, it's vinally Friday!Wine Glass Says: Happy Vin's Day!

Wine Lovers Tip of the Day: All you need is love ... And a bottle of wine!

Wine Lovers Thought of the Day: I've got joy in my heart and a glass of merlot in my hand. Coincidence?

Wine Lovers Point to Ponder: How Merlot can you go?

Q. How does James Bond like his wine?
A. Swirled, and not shaken.

Did you hear about the fellow who got a bottle of fine wine for his mother-in-law? He thought that was a fair trade.

I drink coffee because I need it, and I drink wine because I deserve it!

She: I love you so much, I could never live without you.
He: Is that you talking, or the wine?
She: It's me, talking to the wine!

Q. What did the vintage say when it won the race?
A. Cheers! I'm number wine!

Q. How do wine lovers hear about the lastest connoisseur vintage?
A. Through the grapevine.

Q. Why are Interlaken grapes ever lonely?
A. Because they hang out in bunches.

Bartender Fact of the Day: Wise men drink wine. Budweiser men drink beer.

Vino Point to Ponder: If you can't be with the one you love, why not just love the wine your with?

Wine Lovers Thought of the Day: It's a vine day for a glass of wine!

Wine Whine: Unlike milk, it is okay to cry over spilled wine.

Q. In which spot did the Riesling finish the race?
A. Number wine!

Drunken Grape Point to Ponder: Is every raisin in that trail mix a tragic tale of a grape that didn't have the opportunity to become wine?

Wine Glass Says: Hooray It's Finally My Day!Q. What Do You Call a Man Who Drinks and Falls Off His Horse? A. Wine-Stoned CowboyWine Glass Says: Hello Saturday, So Glad You're Here Again!

Q. How can you spot the girl who drank an entire bottle of wine?
A. She's the one dancing like a stripper...

Q. Why is Mrs. Claus so jolly?
A. She jingles all the cabernet while Santa's on his sleigh!

Q. Why does Mrs. Santa enjoy the Christmas season so much?
A. Because it's the most wine-derful time of the year!

WARNING: he sonsumption of wime might clause you to zink you can sing!

There's nothing to whine about regarding these painful wine puns. They're sour grapes!

Q. What did the priest say when he was pulled over for DWI?
A. Good Lord, he's done it again! I only drank water!

Wine Lovers Holiday Wish: May all your Christmases be white, or red!

Q. What kind of wine does Rudolph the Reindeer prefer?
A. Red! Unless he's on a rooftop, then White!

Q. Can you drink Champagne for breakfast?
A. Wine not?

Some people say laughter is the best medicine and others think wine is the way to go. So, why not do both?

Q. What does Mrs. Claus say to Santa before he leaves for the day?
A. Ho, ho, ho. Merlot Christmas!

Q. How does Mrs. Claus endure living at the North Pole?
A. She's enjoys living in a Wine-ter Wonderland!

| Wine Jokes, Vino Puns | 2 | 3 | Beverage Puns | Soda Funny | Coffee Puns, Java Jokes | 2 |
| Spirited Liquor Puns | Vodka Jokes | Wry Whiskey Jokes | Cocktail Jokes | 2 | 3 | Drunk Puns |
| Beer IS Better! | Beer Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Colorado Craft Beer Jokes | Bartender Puns | 2 | 3 |
| Animal Walks Into the Bar Jokes | Space Bar Puns, Sci-Fi Bartender Jokes | Drunken Gnomes |
| Bar Jokes, Drinking Humor, Brewed Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Bar Pick-Up Lines |
| Restaurant Jokes | Pizza Puns | Burger Jokes | Hot Dog Humor | Snack Puns | Munchies Jokes |


PainfulPuns Home
You've tasted the cheese, so here are more vintage smiles, pour jokes,
bottled up humor, and zinn-ful painful puns you'll want to uncork:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Astronaut Jokes | Blonde Jokes | Broncos Jokes | Chef Puns | Colorado Jokes | Criminal Puns | Hipster Jokes |
| Light Bulb Jokes | Men Jokes | Music Jokes | Pickled Puns | Pirate Jokes | Police Jokes | Religion Jokes |
| Saturday Puns | Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Sports Jokes | Superhero Jokes | Weed Jokes | Women Jokes |

Painful Jokes & Groaner PunsSharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-OnsPot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!
Edible Puns, Fun with Food Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes! Holiday Puns, Silly Seasonal Jokes

Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon!

Join us on social media and please feel free to share our memes with friends and family:
PainfulPuns at Facebook PainfulPuns at Twitter PainfulPuns at Pinterest

©2017-2020 Painfulpuns.com PainfulPuns.com Logo Man All rights reserved.