Beer Pun: Never Drink Past the Pint of No Return - Bartender Puns, Beer Jokes, Bar Humor!

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Pitcher of beer asks: What do you call it when the whole town drinks from the same barrel? A cask of thousands!
Beer Bottle Says:: Hello Saturday, So Glad You're Here Again!
Beer Pitcher Says: Saturday is the time for multi-slacking, not multi-tasking!
Chimp remarks: A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer!

Chimp asks: How are men like coolers? A. Load thm with beer, and you can take them anywhere!


Sport Drinking Jokes, Football Gulps, Sports Bar Puns
Swing along with baseball pitcher puns, heady soccer beer humor, and high spirited gym jokes.

Sports Bar Jokes, Pitcher Puns, Drunk Athlete LOLs
(Because Ball Player Drinking Jokes and Tennis Pro Shot Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream At the Sports Bra!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Shot athlete jokes, golf club cocktail humor, and drunken bowling ball puns ahead.
| Sports Bar Jokes, Sport Drinking Puns | Scary Cocktail Jokes, BOOze Puns | Alchoholic Jokes |
| Beer Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Colorado Craft Beer Jokes | Beer IS Better! | Bartender Puns | 2 | 3 |
| Cocktail Jokes | 2 | 3 | Spirited Liquor Puns | Vodka Jokes | Wry Whiskey Jokes | Drunk Puns |
| Wine Jokes | 2 | 3 | Women Drinking Jokes | Man Drinking Jokes | Bar Jokes | Bar Pick-Ups |
| Animal Walks Into the Bar Jokes | Space Bar Puns | Holiday Drinking Jokes | Drunken Gnomes |

Sports bar joke: A soccer ball walks into a bar. The bartender kicked him out!
Beer mugs ask: What has eight arms and an IQ of 80? Four guys drinking beer and watching a football game!
Golf ball says: If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt!

A soccer ball bounced into a brew pub, but the beer-tender headed it off before it could say anything.

Q. Which baseball player holds his beer the best?
A. The pitcher.

Q. Three old women, at a baseball game, are sneaking shots of Jack Daniels after every half-inning. So, which inning is it now?
A. It's the bottom of the fifth, and the bags are loaded.

Ballpark Laugh of the Day: A baseball flies into the sports bar. The bartender throws him out.

A ladies fast pitch coach walks into the bar after losing yet another game. Bartender asks, "What can I get you?" Coach replies, "I need a pitcher..."

Brew Pub Fact of the Day: Denver Broncos fans do make passes at girls with empty glasses.

Q. How do you become a superhero while tailgating before a Denver Broncos game?
A. Rescue a guy named Jack Daniels who's been trapped inside a bottle!

A wide receiver sits down at the bar next to the team's quarterback and says, "Pass me the beer nuts."

Q. What are tourists served at the Colorado dude ranch's sports bar during Denver Broncos games?
A. Horse d'oeuvres.

Q. What time is when you're in a sports bar watching a Broncos game pplayed at an East Coast stadium?
A. High noon.

Q. Why are there 18 holes on a golf course?
A. 'Cause that's how long it takes a Scotsman to finish a bottle of whiskey!

A golfer waks into the country club bar and orders a Scotch, neat. Bartender says, "I can't serve you. You're a sloppy drunk and get teed off too easily."

Q. Why was the volleyball player kicked out of the party?
A. Because he spiked the punch.

A volleyball player and a tennis coach were sitting at the bar – wondering why it was taking so long to serve them...

Q. Why was the criminal dubbed The Beer Runner let go after being arrested for stealing 23 beers from the sports bar during a Denver Avalanche game?
A. 'Cause the prosecutors didn't have a case.

What is the gambler's heaven? Pair O' Dice
You might be from Colorado if you don't drink and drive.
Fish says: Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day!

Hoops Point to Ponder: If you're no longer addicted to drinking and betting on basketball games, does that mean you've rebounded?

A basketball player walks up to the bar. Bartender says, "High, what can I get ypu?" Hoopster repllies, "Beer, and make it a tall one."

Q. Why are basketball games the messiest events at sports bars?
A. Because the players dribble all over the court and the bar patrons dribble all over the pub.

A pole vaulter lands in a bar and orders two pitchers of beer. Bartender asks, "How long do you plan to stick around?"

A high jumper vaults into a bar. Bartenderr says, "I can't serve you. You're already over your limit."

The highly regarded golf pro saunters into the cocktail lounge at Cherry Hills Country Club, orders a shot of bourbon, and says, "Putt it on my tab."

Q. What do Denver meteorologists talk about at the sports bar?
A. Golfball-sized hailstones.

Q. What is an easy way to add squats to your daily routine?
A. Move the beer to the bottom shelf of the fridge.

Today's Fit Workout: I ran twice today! First, I ran out to get beer and tacos, then I had to run to the restroom.

Q. How do you become a superhero during a Colorado Rockies game at Coors Field?
A. Rescue a guy named Bud who's been trapped inside a bottle!

Q. What do you call an enthusiastic sports fisherman who drinks too much while he's out to sea?
A. A beer-a-cuda.

Q. What is the definition of a successful Colorado hunting trip?
A. When three men manage to kill nine cases of beer in two days.

Q. What happens after a fisherman drinks like a fish?
A. He eels he needs to go like a fire hose.

A marathon runner, wearing his running suit, trots into the bar and says to the bartender, "I'll have the usual." Bartender replies, "Jog my memory."

Sports Bar Groan of the Day: A marathon runner walks into a bar. Bartender asks, "Why the long race?"

You might be from Colorado if you enjoy craft beers with punny names!
Beer glass quips: Life and beer are veryy similar. Chill for best results!
Chimp asks: Where does a monkey go to grab a beer? A. The monkey bars!

Q. At the craft beer pub in Breckenridge, Colorado, what is the drunk guy's favorite kind of skis?
A. Brewskies!

Q. How is Colorado craft beer better than a woman?
A. Beers are always into Denver Broncos season!

Q. What were the highlights of the latest Super Bowl?
A. The ads, especially the beer ads!

A dyslexic Denver Broncos fan walks into a sports bra. Serioulsy? We're betting he'd likely drank too much craft beer...

The newly hired out-of-towner swimming performer at Denver's Casa Bonita restaurant visits a corner bar on W. Colfax Ave. and says, "This place is a real dive."

Q. Why did the blonde leave the Broncos tailgating party crying?
A. Because they ran out of Coors Light in left-handed cans.

Q. What happened to the Colorado brew pub patron who fell into a barrel of beer while watching a Broncos game?
A. He came to a very bitter end.

Drunken Point to Ponder: If you're an alcoholic if you drink too much vodka, then are you Fantastic if you drink too much Orange Crush soda during a Broncos Game?

A horse walks into the sports bar during a Broncos game. bartender says, "Hey there." Horse replies, "You read my mind, and I'll have a bottle of Bud to wash it down."

Bodybuilder Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, are you thirsty? 'Cause I've got a six-pack right here.

Bowling is the ideal sport! It's an hour of drinking beer, occasionally interrupted by five seconds of exercise.

Q. What do a bowling ball and a drunkard have in common?
A. Chances are both of them will end up in the gutter.

A bowlng ball rolls into the corner bar through the back door. Bbartender says, "Get back out in the alley where you belong."

An irritable bowling ball rollss into a bar. bartender says, "Okay, I'll serce you, but don't strike out at my other customrs."

Q. How do you become a superhero at the crowded sports bar during a Denver Broncos game?
A. Rescue a guy named Jim Beam who's been trapped inside a bottle!

Chimp says: Beer is my worst enemy, but the Bible says to love your enemy!
Bar joke: A hamburger walks into a bar. Bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve food here!"
Q. How many gorillas does it take to change a light bulb? A. One one, but it takes a butt load of Bud Light!

Tennis Tip of the Day: If you walk into a bar dressed as a tennis ball, you'll be served right away.

A sweaty tennis player walks into the country club bar carrying all his gear. Bartender says, "Please don't make stinking racket."

A tennis ball rolls into a sports bar. The cocktail waitress asks, "Have you been served?"

A snow boarder hotdogs into the bar at Winter Park and orders a brewski. Lesbian barrtender says, "Okay I'll seve you, but don't call me dude."

A Vail skier slides into the bar down in town and orders an ice cold bottle of craft beer. Bartender says, "Okay, but don't keep schushing the other customrs."

A competitive swimmer walks into a bar and orders a pitcher of beer. Yeah, he drinks like a fiish, too.

A gymnast tumbles into the bar. Bartender says, "You can stay 'cause I don't want you to flip out."

Q. Why aren't ghosts served at sports bars?
A. They just can't hold their BOOs, so the other fans can't handle all that negativity.

An off duty little league umpire walks into a sports bar during a Colorado Rockies game. Bartnder says, "Okay, you can stay. But, watch the foul language."

Q. What is a man's idea of a balanced diet at the sports bar?
A. A beer in each hand.

An ex Bronco walks into a bar and asked the bartender if he's hiring. Bartender said, "No, why don't you try the circus?" The horse replied, "Why would the circus need a bartender?"

Q. What do the cops say when they arrive during your Denver Broncos party?
A. Dish is the Police!

Q. Which sports team do wine lovers always root for?
A. The Reds!

Q. Which chest exercise do vintners prefer?
A. The wine press.

Q. How are a bottle of beer and a boxer alike?
A. They're both empty from the neck up.

Q. What happened when the boxer tripped while taking a road sobriety test?
A. The officer gave him a 10-count.

A boxer orders a boiler maker and finishes it off in one gulp. He looks at the bartender and says, "Hit me again."

A boxer with a black eye walks into a singles bar. Bartender says, I'll sere you, but don't hit on the other customers.

A weightlifter bellies up to the bar. Bartender asks, "What'll it be?" The bodybuilder replies, "I'll have a Zojmbie, and make it a strong one!"

The toughest trainer at the gym walks into the bar down the block. Bartender asks, "What's today's rountine?" He replies, "I'll have a Bloody Mary, and make it a stiff one."

Did you hear about the new gym, Resolutions? They feature workout equipment the first two weeks, and then it's a bar for the rest of the year.

| Sports Bar Jokes, Sport Drinking Puns | Scary Cocktail Jokes, BOOze Puns | Alchoholic Jokes |
| Beer Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Colorado Craft Beer Jokes | Beer IS Better! | Bartender Puns | 2 | 3 |
| Cocktail Jokes | 2 | 3 | Spirited Liquor Puns | Vodka Jokes | Wry Whiskey Jokes | Drunk Puns |
| Wine Jokes, Vino Puns | 2 | 3 | Ladies Night Bar Jokes | Man Drinking Jokes, Guy In a Bar LOLs |
| Animal Walks Into the Bar Jokes | Space Bar Jokes | Drunken Holiday Grins | Drunken Gnomes |
| Bar Jokes, Drinking Humor and Brewed Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Bar Pick-Up Lines |
| Beverage Jokes | Soda Funny Soft Drink Jokes | Coffee Puns, Java Jokes, Espresso Humor | 2 |
| Waiter Jokes | Restaurant Jokes | Pizza Puns | Burger Jokes | Hot Dog Humor | Snack Puns |

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