Deadly Groan of the Day: Old plumbers never die. They just smell that way.

Q. How did the old plumber pass away?
A. He just went down the drain.

Old roto-rooter guys never die, but they do get pooped out.

Q. How did the crappy plumber die?
A. He committed sewer-cide.

Old plumbers never die, but they do slowly drip, drip, drip away.

Q. Do Painful old Puns ever die?
A. Nope, they continue to cause groans for generations to come.

Old garbage men never die, but they do feel rather down in the dumps.

Old jokes never die, but they do end up six-feet under at PainfulPuns!

Q. How do old computer programmers die?
A. They just byte the dust.

Old programmers never die. They just branch to a new address.

Q. Do old Twitter Tweeps ever die?
A. No, but they do log out.

Old hardware engineers never die, but they do cache in their chips.

Old computer programmers never die; they just lose their memory.

Q. Why did the programmer's old computer just crash and die?
A. Due to a bad driver.

Old computers never die, but sometimes they just don't respond.

Old computer programmers never die. They just go data way ---->

Q. How did the old chicken die?
A. She didn't look before crossing the road.

Old forest rangers never die; they just pine away.

Old fireflies never die. They just glow on and off and on and off...

Q. How did the old bear die?
A. He met a grizzly end.

Old beavers never die; they just don't give a dam.

Q. Do old chickens ever die?
A. Yes, they get fried.

Old bears never die, but they do get hugely grizzly.

Old bumblebees never die. They just buzz off into the sunset.

Old lawyers never die. They just lose their briefs!

Q. What do lawyers do after they die?
A. They lie still.

Q. Do old lawyers ever die?
A. No, but they do lose their judgement.

Q. Why don't old lawyers ever die?
A. Because they threaten the doctor with malpractice.

Q. What finally killed the old politician?
A. He ran once too often.

Q. What happens when old burglars die?
A. They just steal away.

Old paradoxes never die; they just become enigmas.

Q. Why don't old procrastinators ever die?
A. 'Cause they keep putting it off.

Old mediums never die, but they do go off to visit all their old friends and acquaintences.

Q. Do old psychics ever die?
A. No, but sometimes they do lose their vision.

A man went to a fortune teller to see his future. The psychic said: "Oh, I see that on Saturday, your wife will die." "I already know that," replied the man. “What I need to know is whether I will be arrested..."

Q. How did the old hacker die?
A. In a phishing accident.

Old electricians never die. They just do it until it Hz.

Q. Why don't electricians ever die young?
A. Because they're just so well grounded.

Q. Why don't old electricians ever die?
A. Because they just revolt.

Old electricians never die. They just lose contact.

Old air conditioner repairmen never die, but they do lose their cool.

Old light bulbs never die. They just blink out.

Old radios never die. They just stop receiving.

Old voice mail never dies; it just doesn't answer.

Old light bulbs never die. They just blink out.

Q. What caused the death of the old circus juggler?
A. His balls dropped – while he was juggling knives.

Q. Do old music mixers ever die?
A. No, they just fade away.

Q. Do old trombone players ever die?
A. No, they just slide away.

When I die, I want my headstone to be a WiFi hotspot. That way, people will visit more often.

Old gardeners never die, but they do push up daisies.

Q. How did the old vegetable gardener die?
A. He just spaded away.

Old home gardeners never die, but they do throw in the trowel.

Old potheads never die. They just get wasted.

Old forest rangers never die; they just pine away.

Q. Do old white water river rafting guides ever die?
A. No, they just go with the flow.

Q. Why did the old alpine skier die so suddenly?
A. He went downhill fast.

Q. Do old hipsters ever die?
A. If they did, you would never have heard about it.

Q. Do old hipsters ever die?
A. Nobody knows? They just cut off the man bun so nobody notices them...

Q. What killed the old hipster?
A. He drowned in the mainstream.

Q. Why don't old hippies ever die?
A. Because they just go to pot.

Old hipsters never die, but they do go even further under ground.

Q. How did the old gossip die?
A. She lost her confidants.

Old environmentalists never die; they're just recycled.

Old hypochondriacs never die. They just imagine it!

Q. Why don't old chiropractors ever die?
A. Because they're so well adjusted.

Old doctors never die; they just lose their patients.

Q. Do old proctologists ever die?
A. No, they just butt out.

Old dentists never die, but they do lose their pull.

Ols medical doctors never die. The just keep JAMA-n' along.

Old eye doctors never die, but they do change theeir outlook on life.

Q. How did the old vacuum cleaner salesman die?
A. He bit the dust.

Q. How did the old janitor die?
A. He just kicked the bucket.

Q. Do old janitors ever die?
A. No, they just get swept up.

Q. How did the newly unemployed tailor-turned-plumber die?
A. He comitted sewer-cide.

Q. Do old exterminators ever die?
A. No, they just bug out.

Q. Why shouldn't you just discard an old dolphin?
A. 'Cause they can always be re=porpoised.

Q. Do old bosses ever die?
A. No, no matter how much you wish they would.

Old nitpickers never die, but they certainly do feel lousy.

Q. What happens when old frogs die?
A. They croak.

Old veterinarians never die, but they do go to the dogs.

Q. How did the old lumberjack pass away?
A. He just logged out.

Q. How did the old gold miner die?
A. He got the shaft.

Old steel workers never die, but they do lose their temper.

Old Goths never die, but they do need to wear less heavy makeup.

Old undertakers never die because the idea of death mortifies them.

Q. Do old pig farmers ever die?
A. No, but they do get rather disgruntled.

Old dairy farmers never die because they just keep getting butter and butter.

Old dairy cows never die, but they do kick the bucket.

Old farmers never die. They just go to seed.

Old Wisconsin dairy farmers never die, but they do cut the cheese.

Q. Do old drummers ever die
A. Yes, but the beat goes on.

Old drummers never die because they just stick it out.

Q. How did the old magician die?
A. Nobody knows? He just disappeared.

Old daredevils never die. They just get discouraged.

Q. Do old Denver weathermen ever die?
A. No, thankfully they go on to reign forever!

Q. Do old geologists in Colorado ever die?
A. No, they just get stoned.

Old spelunkers never die, but sometimes they do cave in.

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