Q. How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb? A. None. Assholes never see the light anyway!   PainfulPuns.com - Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

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Happy Burns Day!
Q. why did a gardener plant a light bulb? A. He wanted to grow a power plant!
Big Ape Says: Don't drink and drive! Park and Spark!
Q. How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb? A. Four. One to change it and three to write the environmental impact statement!

 


Light Bulb Stoner Jokes & Bright Pothead Puns
Shed some light on weed humor, grow light puns, light bulb LOLs and illuminating stoner jokes.

Weed Jokes, Lit Stoner Humor, Light Grown-ers
(Because Screwy Brightest Bulb Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream, Unless You're Left Out In The Dark!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Dead head light bulb jokes, dimly lit humor, and burned out stoner puns ahead.
| Weed Light Bulb Jokes | Funny Stoner Monkeys | 2 | Animal Pothead Puns | Happy 420 Jokes |
| Weed Jokes and Cannabis Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | Blunt Weed Humor | 2 |
| Legal Weed Jokes | Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Mile High Buzz | Stoner Pick-Up Lines | 2 | 3 |
| Pot Poetry, Marijuana Mantras | Ganja Music Jokes | Pot Party Puns | Weedy Funny Munchies |
| Incredible Green Hulk | Spaced Out Aliens | Gnome Grown Weed Humor | Gnome Pothead Puns |

Q. How many stoners does it take to change a light bulb? A. None. Lava lamps don't burn out, man!Q. How many Broncos fans does it take to change a light bulb? A. Non. Lava lamps don't burn out, man!Q. How many pothead does it take to change a light bulb? A. Screw it, we've got lighters!

Q. How many stoners does it take to change a light bulb?
A. What? Huh? Stoners don't understand the concept of being burned out, dude!

Q. How many stoners does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One. Stoners are buzzed, they're not idiots!

Q. What does a Colorado light bulb call a miller moth on marijuana?
A. Buzzed and annoying as splat.

Q. How many Broncos does it take to change a light bulb?
A. It depends which team's shadow the Broncos are in!

A Light Bulb Went Off!: Did you hear about the Mile High cannabis job fair? Over 70,000 stoners meant to attend.

Stoner Point to Ponder: Why do potheads have problems re-hashing classic light bulb jokes?

Q. How are potheads like Christmas lights?
A. They all hang together, but half of them don't work, and the other half aren't so bright.

Q. How many stoner hipsters does it take to change a flickering light bulb?
A. None. Hipsters changed the hot bulb way before it was cool!

Zoner In the Dark Pick-Up Line: Hey, are your eyes on fire? No wait, that's just my blunt. Where's the light switch?

Q. How many visitors to an art gallery does it take to change a light bulb? A. Two. One to do it and one to say: "Oh, my 4-year-old could have done that!"Q. How many potheads does it take to change a light bulb? A. Screw it! We've got lighters!Hulk Asks: How many stoners does it take to change a light bulb? A. Who Cares? It's too bright in here anyway!

Q. How many potheads does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Um... What was the question, again?

Q. How many potheads does it take to have a bake sale?
A. Geez, if they're already baked, why not? Plus, they're too busy to change the light bulb right now.

Q. If the street lights are out, how do stoners find their way to the nearest pot shop?
A. There are other Indica-tors along the way.

Hipster Stoner Tip of the Day: It is imperative that one smokes weed before it is cool! That passe burned out light bulb can wait.

Q. What time of the day do stoners always look forward to?
A. High Noon. 'Cause it doesn't matter if the light bulb is burned out, or not!

Q. How many pot heads does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Yes, please pass the bong.

Q. How many stoners does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but nobody knows how they got in there, man!

Q. How did the grow light know it was destined to become a renowned cannabis producer in Colorado?
A. It was manufactured on 4/20!

LoDo Denver Pick-Up Line: Hey, would you consider a 3-way light bulb? You, me, and Maryjane.

Q. How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? A. Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room spins!Pot Smoking Gnome: Hope There's a Fireman Nearby, 'Cause You're Smokin'Q. How many thought police does it take to change a light bulb? A. None. There never was any light bulb! Don't you remember?

High and Dry Fact of the Day: The speed of light is when you take a bottle of beer out of the refrigerator before the light comes on.

Q. Which day of the week do burned out light bulbs enjoy the most?
A. WeedsDay! 'Cause matches, lighters, candles and stove burners light up the night.

Grow Room Pick-Up Line: High, you wanna come over to light up my life and light up this blunt?

Q. How many firemen does it take to change a light bulb in a grow house?
A. Four. One to change the bulb and three to cut a hole in the roof!

Bright Stoner Come-On: Hey Mary Jane, I don't even need to change that light bulb 'cause you're on fire!

Pothead Point to Ponder: If you laugh at funny weed puns, but groan at light bulb jokes, do you have high standards?

Q. How does the budtender at the the Thought Police Cafe cut you off?
A. It seems like you've had a bit too much to think...

Q. How many pot heads does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Yes, please pass the joint.

Q. What does a stoner call it when a jar full of joints falls off the shelf and knocks over his lava lamp?
A. Blunt Trauma.

Q. How many anarchists does it take to change a light bulb? A. All of them!Big Ape Asks: Which pot strain is preferred by strangers in the night? A. Dooby Dooby Doo!Q. How many brewers does it take to change alight bulb? A. One-third less than for a regular bulb!

Q. How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. One. He puts his hand in the air, and the world revolves around him.

Blunt Point to Ponder: Why are anarchists so intent on changing light bulbs in the first place?

Q. Why do funny light bulb jokes always make you laugh?
A. Dude, you must be high!

Dimly Lit Stoner Pick-Up Line: Hey Bae, you are so hot that I'd like to T H See you naked.

Q. What do you call the new game where stoners get so baked they can barely chase each other around the yard after dark?
A. It's called Hash Tag!

Q. How do you know you've taken going green too far?
A. You've got grow lights in every room of your home, Dude!

Illuminating Press Release from Colorado State Patrol: If there was someone illegally selling cannabis along I70 in Kansas, weed surely know about it unless the light bulb at the rest area was burned out.

The light at the end of the tunnel may not be at the bottom of a beer bottle, but you should always check! If it's not there, be weedy sure to check the bottom of the baggie!

Another Bong Bright Idea: Wish you were beer!

Q. What does a pothead say when he's heading out the door to walk home?
A. I'm burned out like that light bulb. T H C you later!

Grow Light Pick-Up Line: High there, watt's your name?

| Light Bulb Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Illuminating Light Bulb Zodiac Riddles |
| Weed Light Bulb Jokes | Funny Stoner Monkeys | 2 | Animal Pothead Puns | Happy 420 Jokes |
| Weed Jokes and Cannabis Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | Blunt Weed Humor | 2 |
| Legal Weed Jokes | Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Mile High Buzz | Stoner Pick-Up Lines | 2 | 3 |
| Pot Poetry, Marijuana Mantras | Ganja Music Jokes | Pot Party Puns | Weedy Funny Munchies |
| Incredible Green Hulk | Spaced Out Aliens | Gnome Grown Weed Humor | Gnome Pothead Puns |

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You've seen the light this far, so here's even more enlightened laughter,
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