Q. What kind of pipe do potheads prefer? A. Stoneware!   PainfulPuns.com - Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

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Q. How many Broncos fans does it take to change a light bulb? A. Non. Lava lamps don't burn out, man!
Q. What kind of car does a stoner drive? A. A Blazer!
Q. Did you hear about the gnome that got baked? A He could finally hold his head up high!
Q. What did the bees say when they found the sativa field? A. Se Habla Do-Bee Do-Bee do!
Gnomes with Pot Leaves: Do You Live in a Corn Field? 'Cause I'm Stalking You
Old Horticulturists Never Die, They Just Go to Pot
Q. How many stoners does it take to change a light bulb? A. None. Lava lamps don't burn out, man!

 


Colorado Cannabis Jokes and Mile High Humor
Work out with flexible joint jokes, blunt downhill High Country humor, and peak pothead puns.

Weed Jokes, Marijuana Humor, Stoner Puns
(Because Funny Cannabis Jokes and Mile High Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream Downstream of Colorado!)
Warning: Proceed Slowly! Weed IS Funny, But Don't Go Too High Too Fast – Due to Altitude Sickness!
| Weed Jokes and Cannabis Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | Blunt Weed Humor | 2 |
| Legal Weed Jokes | Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Mile High Buzz | Stoner Pick-Up Lines | 2 | 3 |
| Pot Poetry, Marijuana Mantras | Ganja Music Jokes | Pot Party Puns | Weedy Funny Munchies |
| Incredible Green Hulk | Spaced Out Aliens | Gnome Grown Weed Humor | Gnome Pothead Puns |
| Funny Stoner Monkeys | 2 | Animal Pothead Puns | Weed Light Bulb Jokes | Happy 420 Jokes |

Alien says: You might be from Colorado if you believe in going green!Q. What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign? A. The drunk runs it, but the stoner waits for it to turn green!Q. Why is Colorado's nickname the High Country? A. Peak Scenery, Bud!

Q. What is a spaced alien's idea of a balanced diet?
A. A joint in each hand.

Q. What happened to the stoner who put his condom on backwards?
A. He went.

Pothead Point to Ponder: If you laugh at funny weed jokes, but groan at blunt pot puns, do you have high standards?

Big Green Point to Ponder: If The Hulk is so Incredible, how do his pants hang in there?

LoDo Pick-Up Line: Wow, wanna blow this joint? 'Cause you are smokin'!

Q. How can you tell somebody is a true stoner?
A. They only laugh at the punch lines of short jokes, but they laugh continuously through bong jokes.

Q. What is the name of the new pot shop operated by two BFFs?
A. Best Buds.

Q. What does the Big Bad Wolf say on 420?
A. I'll huff and I'll puff, and I'll blow these trees down!

Colorado Service Dog: My master just bought boots from a drug dealer. I don't know what they were laced with, but he's been tripping all day!

Q. What do you call a pothead hula dancer? A. Shake 'N Bake!Q. If two potheads are in the back of a car, then who is driving? A. The Cop!Bud Asks: How do you know you're a true stoner? A. Your bong gets washed more often than your dishes!

Colorado Cannabis Factoid: Nudists hate barely legal weed jokes!

Q. What time of the day do blunt smokers always look forward to?
A. High Noon.

Q. What did the backers from Las Vegas name the high rolling new pot shop?
A. Jack Pot.

Stoner Pick-Up Line: Hey, I wanna TH-See you naked!

Barely Legal 420 Point to Ponder: If a cop is high on pot, is that fried bacon?

State Patrol: If there was someone selling illegal cannabis on I70 in Kansas, weed surely know.

Pothead Point to Ponder: Will marijuana use always be a burning issue?

May your cup runneth over, unless it's that urine specimen cup you're trying to hand me.

Q. What do you call a retro stoner pilot caught up in Reefer Madness?
A. A high flyer.

Q. What do financial backers say about cannabis start up companies?
A. Medical marijuana is the seed of a new industry.

Timely 420 Point to Ponder: Did you ever stop to consider that every hour it's 4:20 someplace and someplace else?

Q. Why do aliens visit the Mile-High City? A. Denver is just a little closer to home!Weed Wisdom: Life is What You Bake It!Aliens in Flying Saucer Say: We're here because it High Day!

Q. What do you call a spaced alien on marijuana?
A. A High Flyer!

Q. Why do spaced aliens call Denver the Mile High City?
A. 5280 pot shops.

Q. What do stoners always take along on Colorado UFO sighting trips?
A. High-powered cameras.

Classic 420 Point to Ponder: All you need is 4 blunts for 20 Coloradans.

Q. What do ya call a dead chicken on marijuana?
A. A high fryer.

Edible Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, you're hotter than the Alice B. Tokeless brownies!

Q. What does a stoner call it when a jar full of joints falls off the shelf and knocks over his lava lamp?
A. Blunt Trauma.

Q. How does a marijuana toker feel after lighting up a blunt?
A. Up in Smoke.

Q. What is the motto of spaced aliens?
A. Why can't we all just get a bong?

Q. What do UFOs always take along on Colorado cattle hunting trips?
A. High-powered mutilators.

Q. What would you call an astronaut on edibles?
A. A high flyer.

Q. Which pot strain is preferred by E.T. strangers in the night?
A. Dooby Dooby Doo!

Did you hear about the stoner who locked his keys inside his car? He couldn't get his family out for an hour!Q. What does his wife say when the pot grower leaves for work? A. Doobie Careful!Join the marijuana movement, it's a joint effort!

Q. What does a weed smoker say when he's heading out the door to walk home after smoking a spliff or two?
A. T H C you later!

Cannabis Pick-Up Line: Dude, is that a 9-inch blunt in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Q. What was the stoner Denver weatherman fired from his radio gig?
A. Because his forecast was always partly cloudy with foggy patches.

Q. Which weed song really beats?
A. Marijuana by Kid Cudi.

Q. Why should you never inject Marijuana derivatives?
A. So you won't get a bud clot.

Mile High 420 Quip: Whoever said, "Money Can't Buy Happiness," clearly has not visited a Colorado pot shop.

Q. How do you know you were born to be a pot head?
A. Your mother's name is April ... Something?

Q. What do stoners call a roach on the end of a toothpick?
A. Sticky stick weed.

Q. What did orange Zigzag say to the weed on a road trip?
A. Orange you glad we're ready to roll?

Smokin' 420 Quip: If you don't like weed puns, you're ganja have a bad time.

Q. What was the Denver Post headline when marijuana was first legalized in Colorado?
A. Taking the Cover Off Pot.

Q. Why was recreational marijuana legalized in Colorado?
A. There were a lot of potent arguments in its favor.

Happy Cannabis Says: Happy Weed's Day!You might be from Colorado if you know where Bongmont is and can find it without GPS!Q. What do Dalek farmers do? A. Germinate!

Cannabis pick-up line: Hey, you're so hot that I don't even need a lighter!

Colorado Cannabis-ism: Weed my lips!

It makes me feel the way I need to feel. – Snoop Dogg

Q. What does the sign say outside the coffee house next door to the legal marijuana shop?
A. Perk Up Your Reefer Sadness!

Did you hear about the guy in Colorado who wants marijuana to be classified as a vegetable? He said it's an igenious way to get Americans to stop smoking pot!

Q. Why don't Colorado mountain town stoners ever get into arguments?
A. Because they always take the high road.

Q. Where is a top shelf place to get cannabis in the Northwest?
A. Eugreen, Oregon.

Q. What happens when a stoner Dalek eats too many bean burritos?
A. Emergency Temporal Shit!

Q. Why couldn't the lifeguard save the stoner surfer?
A. 'Cause he was too far out, man.

Smokin' 420 Quip: If you don't like weed puns, you're ganja have a bad time.

Shortest Stoner Pick-Up Line: High you?

| Weed Jokes and Cannabis Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | Blunt Weed Jokes | 2 |
| Legal Weed Laughs | Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Mile High Buzz | Stoner Pick-Up Lines | 2 | 3 |
| Pot Poetry, Marijuana Mantras | Ganja Music Jokes | Pot Party Puns | Weedy Funny Munchies |
| Incredible Green Hulk | Spaced Out Aliens | Gnome Grown Weed Humor | Gnome Pothead Puns |
| Funny Stoner Monkeys | 2 | Animal Pothead Puns | Weed Light Bulb Jokes | Happy 420 Jokes |

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