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Q. What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign? A. The drunk runs it, but the stoner waits for it to turn green!
Big Ape Says: Don't drink and drive! Park and Spark!
Pot Smoking Gnome Pick-Up Line: If I had a garden, I'd put my tulips and your two lips together.
Q. Where can you find bigfoots? A. It depends where you left them!
Bud Asks: How do you know you're a true stoner? A. Your bong gets washed more often than your dishes!

 


Cannabis Humor, Pothead Puns, Green Grins
Joint us for blunt puns, edible giggles, baked high country humor and laughable stoner jokes.

Joint Jokes, Blunt Weed Puns, Marijuana Humor
(Because Blazing Funny Cannibis Jokes, Tasty Edible Humor, and Blunt Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream!)
Warning: Proceed with Doob Caution! Inflammable blunt humor, flammable joint jokes, and hot weed puns ahead!
| Weed Jokes and Cannabis Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | Blunt Weed Humor | 2 |
| Legal Weed Jokes | Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Mile High Buzz | Stoner Pick-Up Lines | 2 | 3 |
| Pot Poetry, Marijuana Mantras | Ganja Music Jokes | Pot Party Puns | Weedy Funny Munchies |
| Incredible Green Hulk | Spaced Out Aliens | Gnome Grown Weed Humor | Gnome Pothead Puns |
| Funny Stoner Monkeys | 2 | Animal Pothead Puns | Weed Light Bulb Jokes | Happy 420 Jokes |

If the whole world smoke a joint at the same thime, there'd be world peace ... followed by a global food shortage!Q. Why do aliens visit the Mile-High City? A. Hey, I'm not getting paid for these tourism ads!Q. Did you hear about the gnome that got baked? A He could finally hold his head up high!

Q. How do stoners resolve arguments?
A. Instead of rolling up their sleeves, hey calmly roll up some blunts instead.

Q. What do you call blows from the Green Hulk when he's angry?
A. Pot shots.

Q. Why is The Hulk such a good Internet herb gardener?
A. He always backs up his sage! And, he bides his thyme on Twitter.

Rockin' 420 Quip: Dude, this song smells amazing!

Q. Why was the ghost's drug dealer arrested?
A. For possession.

Q. What is a little green man's weed source?
A. Mother Earth.

Q. What is it called if you celebrate 4/20 by bluntly lighting up a daily joint for a fortnight beginning on April 1?
A. On a roll.

Q. Why do little green space men like working in Colorado's legalized marijuana industry?
A. 'Cause there's no grass ceiling!

Classic 420 Quip: I'm high OFF life, in a green way!

Q. Where do stoner Klingons store their leftovers?
A. In a Zip'loc!

Baked 420 Quip: I'm high ON life, in a green way!

Don't you just hate it when somebody calls you a pothead? And then, they hand you the coffee pot...

Q. What did the investors from Las Vegas insist the high rolling new pot shop be named?
A. High Stakes.

Q. What sort of pics does a model stoner request from his photographer?
A. Pot shots.

Q. How do stoner skeletons in Colorado get high?
A. Marrow-juana.

Q. Why did the pot head plant Cheerios? A. He thought they were donut seeds!Q. What do you call it when two cities with legal cannabis get together? A. A Super Bowl!Q. What did the beekeeper say whn his bees made cannabis honey? A. Do-Bee Do-Bee Do!

Q. What condition might you suffer from after eating too many hash browns?
A. Pot belly.

Q. Why do potheads enjoy these Painful blunt Puns?
A. 'Cause they're half-baked.

Poetic Stoner Pick-Up Line: High, wanna come along and smoke my bong?

Stoner Point to Ponder: Are you an Ent? Wow, I knew there were uncles, but I did not know there were giant tree people in Nebraska!

Q. Why don't Coloradans torch ditch weed?
A. Dorothy, we're not in Kansas anymore.

Colorado Weed Poetry: I like to smoke that lovely grass, so all you Feds can kiss my ass.

Q. What does a pothead say when he's heading out of the party to walk home?
A. T H C you later!

Q. How did the romantic stoner propose to his girlfriend?
A. He handed her a size 6 blunt with a smokin' hot diamond ring on it and said, "Marriage, you wanna?"

Q. What does a stoner call a common housefly on marijuana?
A. Buzzed and annoying as splat.

Q. What is every successful pot grower's mantra?
A. Flower to the People!

Q. Why is Colorado called the High Country?
A. Peak Scenery, Bud!

Stoner Pick-Up Line: Hey there big guy, is your name Tweeds? 'Cause I'm liking the way your are dressed.

Q. What does a mermaid smoke? A. Seaweed!Green Alien Says: We are here for the blunt humor!Q. What did the paper say to the cannabis? A. Let's roll!

Pot Point to Ponder: Would a stoner mermaid enjoy clam baking?

Q. What does the sign say outside of the new gym across the street from the popular cannabis edibles sweets store?
A. Work Off Your Reefer Sad Ass!

Stoner Pick-Up Line: Weed be cute together.

Q. What did the cheesy pop vocalist name his new pot shop?
A. One Hit Wonder.

Q. What do space aliens call the legalization of marijuana in Colorado?
A. Fweedom!

Q. What do you call a spaced alien with two spliffs?
A. Double-jointed.

Zoner Pick-Up Line: Hey dude, is your name Cheech? 'Cause I'd like to Chong ya!

Blunt Boulder Bull Sh*t: Mork and Mindy were actually both from Ork (A.K.A. Boulder, Colorado).

Q. How is rolling a joint like riding a bike?
A. 'Cause you wheel-ize you'll never roll back.

Q. How do you know when you've taken going green too far?
A. When you green out, Dude!

Denver LoDo Pick-Up Line: Hey Bud, I blaze on the first date!

Ganja Point to Ponder: Why is green code talk okay in Ireland and Colorado, but rather suspicious in Omaha?

Q. What do you call an Irish pothead? A. O'Blarney Stoned!Q. What do you call it when a pothead suffers from short-term memory loss? A. Potheimers!Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke a little leaf. Jack got high and dropped his fl, and Jill said "Where's the Beer?"

Ganja Point to Ponder: Why is green code talk okay in Ireland and Colorado, but rather suspicious in Omaha?

Q. What do horny Colorado stoners always take along on babe hunting trips?
A. Weedy High-powered pick-up lines.

Q. Why shouldn't there be any stoners in kindergarten?
A. 'Cause that's what High School is for!

Q. How do you make a werewolf stew?
A. Give him some weed and leave him waiting for the munchies until the full moon.

Q. What is a gasper?
A. Dude, if you can't even remember bad schwag, you must be from Colorado!

Q. Why did the LoDo hipster add laxatives and cannabis oil to his coffee?
A. Just for some shits and grins.

Q. Which pot song do girl's shoes salesmen enjoy most?
A. Mary Jane by Rick James.

Q. Why should you join the Marijuana Movement?
A. 'Cause it's a joint movement.

Weedy Fine Point to Ponder in Your Dreams: Why just wake up, when you could wake up and bake up?

Q. Tomorrow, which songs won't a pothead remember hearing tonight?
A. Gin and Juice and Young, Wild & Free by Snoop Dog.

Stoner Pick-Up Line: Are you a drug? 'Cause I marijuana take you home tonight.

Q. Why is the new Colorado Weed and Whiskey pub doing so well?
A. Because everyone who visits there is in high spirits.

| Weed Jokes and Cannabis Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | Blunt Weed Jokes | 2 |
| Legal Weed Laughs | Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Mile High Buzz | Stoner Pick-Up Lines | 2 | 3 |
| Pot Poetry, Marijuana Mantras | Ganja Music Jokes | Pot Party Puns | Weedy Funny Munchies |
| Incredible Green Hulk | Spaced Out Aliens | Gnome Grown Weed Humor | Gnome Pothead Puns |
| Funny Stoner Monkeys | 2 | Animal Pothead Puns | Weed Light Bulb Jokes | Happy 420 Jokes |

PainfulPuns Home
You've blazed along this far, so here's even more stone-baked laughter,
green humor, hot jokes and blunt painful puns that'll ignite some grins:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Blonde Jokes | Chef Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Colorado Munchies | Craft Beer Puns | Fit Jokes | Farmer Jokes |
| Gambling Jokes | Green Puns | Guy Jokes | Happy Hour LOLs | Hipster Jokes | Light Bulb Jokes | Music Memes |
| Oh Crap! | Outer Space Jokes | Pirate Jokes | Police Puns | Sasquatch Jokes | Saturday Jokes | Scary Humor |
| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Sports Jokes | Tech Gadget Jokes | Travel Jokes | Weather Jokes | Web Jokes |

Edible Puns, Fun with FoodBartender Puns, Bar HumorGnome Puns Intended
Monstrously Funny Puns Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes! Garden Puns, Green Groaners

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