Hulk Asks: What do you call a killer cannabis comedian? A. The Grim Reefer!   PainfulPuns.com - Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

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Pot Smoking Gnome: Hope There's a Fireman Nearby, 'Cause You're Smokin'
Q. How did ET know he was high? A. He was too phone to stone home!
Q. What do you call a fly on cannabis? A. A Hight Flyer!
Big Ape Asks: What do a bad football team & a pothead have in common? A. Both get blitzed!
Pot Humor: Before and After Shots of Hulk Gnoming Green
Alien Abduction: Can I be blunt? Join us for a hghly recommended laugh!

What did the alien say to the grower? Take me to your weeder!

 


Cannabis Jokes, Mile High Humor, Stoner Puns
Relax on your couch with smokin' stoner humor, madly funny reefer puns, and hit toker jokes.

Weed Puns, Ganja Jokes, Stoked Pothead Humor
(Because Colorful Cannabis Jokes and Bong Lost Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream in the Mile High City!)
Warning: Proceed to the Zone with Caution! Alien weed comedy, rockin' 420 jokes, and stoner-ed puns ahead.
| Weed Jokes and Cannabis Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | Blunt Weed Humor | 2 |
| Legal Weed Jokes | Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Mile High Buzz | Stoner Pick-Up Lines | 2 | 3 |
| Pot Poetry, Marijuana Mantras | Ganja Music Jokes | Pot Party Puns | Weedy Funny Munchies |
| Incredible Green Hulk | Spaced Out Aliens | Gnome Grown Weed Humor | Gnome Pothead Puns |
| Funny Stoner Monkeys | 2 | Animal Pothead Puns | Weed Light Bulb Jokes | Happy 420 Jokes |

What does Chewie call Han when he uses weed? A. Han So-High!Alien says: In Colorado, if you don't like weed puns, you ganja have a bad time!Q. Did you hear about the guitar that got baked? A. It was highly strung!

Q. Why shouldn't you eat gluten-free Wookiee edibles?
A. Because they're more than a little chewie.

Q. What did the stoner Wookiee say when he sat on sand paper?
A. Ruff.

Q. What do cyborgs and adroids enjoy most about potent cannabis?
A. The Cannabinoids.

Q. What happens after sad marijuana plants hear happy cannabis jokes?
A. It's a releaf!

Q. Why don't little green men get into arguments?
A. Because they always take the high road!

Blunt Tip of the Day: It is imperative that a hipster smokes weed before it is cool!

Q. What do you call a stoner who doesn't ever touch alcohol?
A. High and Dry.

Q. What do you call a spaced alien in Idaho?
A. Baked Potato.

Colorado 420 Come-On: Hey there, let's meet up at 4:20!

Stoner Groupie Pick-Up Line: Hey, I can be your buzz amplifier.

Q. Which potent pot song were stoners reddy for in 1975?
A. Panama Red by New Riders of the Purple Sage.

Q. What do party stoners call that one guy who always sucks the most?
A. A Vape-pire.

Rockin' 420 Quip: Dude, this song smells amazing!

Q. What is the Colorado state motto? A. Marijuana, can't we all just get a bong!Hulk Asks: What do you call a horny stoner? A. A Weed Whacker!Q. Why did the pothead cross the road? A. Um, that's one hell of a good question?

Q. Why do blunt smokers make such great diplomats?
A. They know how to give and toke.

In Colorado, some people treat their pets with medical marijuana. Which is great because cats need another reason to sit on the couch all day.

Q. What happens when blondes move from Kansas to Colorado?
A. Colorado gets even more colorful.

Q. What do you call poetry by a mourning doves hanging around a weed grow house?
A. High Coo!

When David Banner gets mad, he turns into Colorado? Going green, Colorado style, is how The Hulk mellows back into Bruce.

Q. What do pot growers call the new pot strain named after its dark side?
A. Legion of Bloom.

Toasted Stoner Come-On: High Mary Jane, I don't even need a lighter 'cause you're already smokin'!

Mile High Living LOL: My girlfriend and I went to the bank and opened a shared savings account, mostly for buying weed. It will be our joint account.

Q. How do USO aliens get high?
A. Reefer.

Q. How do Unidentified Submerged Object aliens get high?
A. Seaweed.

Q. How did Yoda propose to his girlfriend?
A. He handed her a blunt saber with a smokin' hot diamond ring on it and said, "Marriage, you wanna?"

Mile High Living LOL: My girlfriend and I went to the bank and opened a shared savings account, mostly for buying weed. It will be our joint account.

If weed was legal, police could spend their time catching real criminals. Not ones that sit on their couch and eat snacks!Colorado High Country Joke: I put a Denver Broncos jersey on my airplane. Now it can't touch down!Q. How many pothead does it take to change a light bulb? A. Screw it, we've got lighters!

Q. What did the stoner say when the cops pulled him over saying, "Your eyes look red, like you've been smoking weed, Bud."
A. "Your eyes are glazed, like you've been eating donuts, Sir."

Q. What did the pot heads say when they saw red flashing lights up the street?
A. Dude, let's blow this joint!

Q. Why do Colorado women like working in the legalized marijuana industry?
A. Because there is no grass ceiling!

Q. What do big ape stoners in Colorado always take along on babe hunting trips?
A. Weedy High-powered pick-up lines.

Q. How do you keep Denver Broncos out of your outdoor grow?
A. Install goal posts.

Q. What do Colorado Cannabis and the Denver Broncos have in common?
A. Both got smoked last year.

Q. How are the Denver Broncos and those stoner neighbors on the block alike?
A. Neither can pick up a single yard.

Q. What do Denver Broncos fans root for when the team is behind and the clock is running out?
A. A Hail Mary Jane pass.

Q. What does a cannibal call a stoner?
A. Pot Roast.

Q. How are potheads and Christmas lights alike?
A. They all hang together, but half of them don't work, and the other half aren't so bright.

Hipster Stoner Tip of the Day: It is imperative that one smokes weed before it is cool! That passe burned out light bulb can wait. Pass the Bong!

Stoner Point to Ponder: Why do potheads have problems re-hashing classic light bulb jokes?

Q. Why do funny light bulb jokes always make you laugh?
A. Dude, you must be high!

Big Ape Says: Don't drink and drive! Park and Spark!Hermaphrodite Cannabis Says: Don't you just hate it when this happens?Thieves were planning to rob the pot shop, but they had to case the joint first!

Pot pick-up line: Are you a Chonger? 'Cause you toke my breath away!

Q. Which song do '80s potheads fondly remember?
A. Reefer Head Woman by Aerosmith.

Pothead Point to Ponder: Was Jimi Hendrix really singing about LSD, or did he have a source for Purple Haze indica before it was widely known?

Q. What is the name of the new pot shop that's right across the street from the gym?
A. Lazy Daze.

Q. How does the budtender at the the Thought Police Cafe cut you off?
A. It seems like you've had a bit too much to think...

Q. What diagnosis did the edible-loving pothead get from his doctor?
A. Toxic Waist!

Q. Why is the legalized marijuana industry doing so well in the Colorado Rockies?
A. Because legal cannabis is in high demand.

Q. What do stoners always take along on elk hunting trips in Colorado?
A. Bugles snacks.

Q. What's the difference between a stoner and a politician?
A. Stoners do inhale, but politicians just suck!

Q. What defense did the pot grower use?
A. Your Honor, weed is not a drug; bud is a flower. Therefore, I am a florist.

Q. What do stoners always take along on Colorado Bigfoot hunting trips?
A. High-powered night vision cameras.

Q. For maximum effect, what time does Bigfoot smoke pot on top of Pikes Peak?
A. High Noon.

Green Alien Says: We're here because it's Friday!Q. What do you call a tater that smokes weed? A. A Baked Potato!Q. What do you call one bowl between three toker? A. Malnutrition!

Q. Which day of the week do potheads enjoy the most?
A. WeedsDay.

Q. How do you know a UFO is Colorado to take care of a serious weed problem?
A. It's equiped with a Sirius weed wacker.

Q. How do little green men consume weed in Colorado?
A. The convenience store won't sell them Bic lighters, so they only zap up edibles.

Q. What did the snowlady say to her stoner hubby?
A. I warned you about getting plowed!

A 420 point to ponder: If you were a potato, you'd be a sweet potato. If I was a potato, I'd be a baked potato. If Popeye or Dr. Seuss was a potato, YAM!

Q. Which classic movie star was a closet pot head?
A. Humphrey Bogart.

Weedy Deep Point to Ponder: Dinosaur bones were recently unearthed in Highlands Ranch. Scientists at Denver Museum of Nature and Science say the bones are that of a horned Triceratops dinosaur and a herbivore. So, does that mean Colorado has been green for more than 65,000,000 years?

Q. Why do potheads place such a great emphasis on higher math for their kids in school?
A. So they know the difference between Pi and Pie, and can quickly calculate how much cannabutter to use when doubling a recipe.

Q. What do Coloradans call medical marijuana with a good vibe?
A. Karmaceuticals.

Q. Are there many Colorado Cannivores in Denver?
A. Yes, medible ents are quite common in the Mile High city, while cannafoodies are more prevalent in the higher areas west of the Continental Divide.

| Weed Jokes and Cannabis Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | Blunt Weed Jokes | 2 |
| Legal Weed Laughs | Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Mile High Buzz | Stoner Pick-Up Lines | 2 | 3 |
| Pot Poetry, Marijuana Mantras | Ganja Music Jokes | Pot Party Puns | Weedy Funny Munchies |
| Incredible Green Hulk | Spaced Out Aliens | Gnome Grown Weed Humor | Gnome Pothead Puns |
| Funny Stoner Monkeys | 2 | Animal Pothead Puns | Weed Light Bulb Jokes | Happy 420 Jokes |

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| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Sports Jokes | Tech Gadget Jokes | Travel Jokes | Weather Jokes | Web Jokes |

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