Weed Wisdom: Life is What You Bake It!   PainfulPuns.com - Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

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Q. Which pot strain is preferred by Vegas Sinatra impersonators? A. Dooby Dooby Doo!
Gnoming Green: Gnome & Hulk Before and After
Q. How do sharks get high? A. Reefer!
Chimp Chef Asks: What is a stoner chef's specialty? A. Baked Ziti!
Q. How do you know you're a pothead? A. You studied five days for a urine test!

 


Weed Puns, Reefer Humor, Cannabis Comedy
Wake up and bake up weed humor, smokin' hot ganja laughs, pot puns and funny stoner jokes.

Funny Ganja Jokes, Pot Puns, Stoner Humor
(Because Life Is What You Bake It Could Never Be TOO Mainstream In The Colorado High Country!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Marijuana jokes and weed puns are legal in Colorado, even if they're not funny!
| Weed Jokes and Cannabis Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | Blunt Weed Humor | 2 |
| Legal Weed Jokes | Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Mile High Buzz | Stoner Pick-Up Lines | 2 | 3 |
| Pot Poetry, Marijuana Mantras | Ganja Music Jokes | Pot Party Puns | Weedy Funny Munchies |
| Incredible Green Hulk | Spaced Out Aliens | Gnome Grown Weed Humor | Gnome Pothead Puns |
| Funny Stoner Monkeys | 2 | Animal Pothead Puns | Weed Light Bulb Jokes | Happy 420 Jokes |

Chimp Chef Asks: Which kind of pizza do potheads prefer? A. Stone-Baked!Man Who Stands On a Toilet is High ON Pot!Police officer: How high are you? Pot head: No officers, it's Hi, how are you?

Stoner Point to Ponder: Square box, round pizza, triangular slices? I'm so confused!

Q. What do you call a cheesy actor in a stoner movie?
A. Baked ham.

Q. What did the stoner call his girlfriend when she told regally funny pot puns?
A. Royal Highness.

Hungry Stoner Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, do you have the munchies? 'Cause I've got a bag of Doritos and a bag of weed!

Q. Which kitchen gadget does an ancient alien chef in Colorado use to bring back herb from the future?
A. A thyme machine.

Q. What do the Feds call it when a Colorado stoner forgets it's legal and flushes his pot down the toilet?
A. Drug abuse!

Colorado Cannabis Factoid: Nudists hate barely legal weed jokes!

In Colorado, it's likely you know somebody named Ganjapreneur, Tokecoon, or Warren Puffet.

Q. Which cheesy sitcom would be better if it was about physicists smoking weed?
A. The Big Bong Theory.

Q. Why do Denver area stoners spend so much money?
A. Because they're high rollers!

Officer: You could go to jail for weed.
Stoner: Jail sells weed?

According to a recent poll, 91% of Coloradans are satisfied with their lives. Apparently, the other 9% can't remember where the nearest pot shop is?

Q. What do you call a bank account specifically for marijuana purchases?
A. Joint account.

Q. Which pot song is dandy, if you're a viper stoner?
A. Reefer Song by Fats Waller.

Zoner Pick-Up Line: Hey dude, is your name Spud? 'Cause you are baked!

Wolf asks: What is Colorado's state slogan? A. Welcom to the high country!Q. Why did the stoner cross the road? A. The dispensary was on the other side!Q. What is 421 known as? A. National Drug Test Day!

Q. Are there many Colorado Cannivores in Denver?
A. Yes, medible ents and cannafoodies are quite common in the Mile High city.

Q. Why do stoner Coloradans stay high?
A. 'Cause they like the view up there.

Q. Why was the Colorado entrepreneur so pleased with her new edibles shop?
A. Profits are higher than ever!

Q. What's the name of the stylish new cannabis dispensary in Denver's chic Cherry Creek neighborhood?
A. High Heals.

Q. How do stoners always know which way to go to get to the nearest pot shop?
A. There're lots of Indica-tors along the way.

Q. Why is it good to be reefer-ed to as The Dankness, Dankity, Dankstrocity or Your Dankness?
A. Dude, you're not from Colorado, are you?

Q. How did the botanist at CU know he was destined to become a renowned cannabis breeder in Colorado?
A. His name is Herb.

Stoner Pick-Up Line: Hey Babe, are you a pot head? Hot! So Babe, are you a pot head, too? Cool!

THC Fact of the Day: In Colorado, it's likely you know somebody named Ganjapreneur, Tokecoon, or Warren Puffet.

Q. How does the Colorado state treasurer classify the legalized marijuana business model?
A. As a Budding Industry.

Q. What did the accountant say about the marijuana industry in Colorado?
A. It's a high growth industry.

Red Hot Colorado Cannabis Industry Tip of the Day: Folks, the market has spoken, and yes, it is tokin'!

Q. What do you call a stoner's wife? A. Mississippi!Q. Why is Denver known as the Mile High City? A. Um, what was the question , again?Pot Poetry: Dig a little hole, plant a little seed, wait a little while, smoke a little weed!

Q. Why do hippies still smoke pot?
A. They believe in Flower to the People.

Q. Which marijuana song pretty much summed up the year 1968?
A. Let's Go Get Stoned by Ray Charles.

Q. What is a stoner snipe hunt?
A. What you have to do when you've lost that last, last joint that was re-rolled roaches.

Marijuana Munchies Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, are you hungry? 'Cause you could just munch on me.

Q. Which song does the gym across the street from the pot shop always play?
A. James Joint by Rhianna.

If you live in Denver, you don't have to get high. But, you do have to stay at least one mile high...

Q. Who is the top budding genius at the Colorado Academy of Cannabis?
A. The Head Master.

Stoner Pick-Up Line: Hey Bae, if you spend the night, we can wake up and bake up in the morning.

Q. How did the horticulturalist know he was destined to become a high-powered pot grower?
A. His name is Bud.

Stoner Point to Ponder: If marijuana is so safe, why is everybody from the movie Reefer Madness dead?

Q. What is the name of the new organic cannabis edibles business?
A. Pharm to Table.

Grow Light Pick-Up Line: High there, watt's your name?

Q. How did ET know he was high? A. He was too phone to stone home!Gnome Says: Not all those who wander are lost. Didn't J.R.R. Toking write that?Bud Says: God is perfect. Man is not. Made made liquor. God made pot!

Q. What happened to the short E.T. after he got baked?
A. He could finally hold his head up high.

Q. Which hazy tune should be on your top 420 playlist?
A. Smoke a Little Smoke by Eric Church.

Q. What do you call tension scenes in a stoner movie?
A. High drama.

Blunt Pick-Up Line: Hey big guy, is your name Pocket Rocket? Or, are you just happy to see me?

Q. What do you call a grumpy, short-tempered ganja gardener?
A. A Snap Dragon.

Q. What does the movie exec behind the cameraman do while making a stoner film?
A. Direct hits.

Zoned Out Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Mary Jane? 'Cause I'm pretty sure you're on fire!

Pot Head Pick-Up Line: Hey dude, is your name Black Bart? 'Cause I bet I could light up your night.

Cannabis Verse of the Day: Herb is the gift from the earth, and nothing worse, so before you knock it try it first, to see it's a blessing and not a curse!

Q. What do you call a mellow High Times article about stoners?
A. A puff piece.

Q. Which marijuana song has been stuck in your head since 2015?
A. It's All Going to Pot by Willie Nelson.

Q. What does THC stand for?
A. Toke Hold Cough.

| Weed Jokes and Cannabis Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | Blunt Weed Jokes | 2 |
| Legal Weed Laughs | Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Mile High Buzz | Stoner Pick-Up Lines | 2 | 3 |
| Pot Poetry, Marijuana Mantras | Ganja Music Jokes | Pot Party Puns | Weedy Funny Munchies |
| Incredible Green Hulk | Spaced Out Aliens | Gnome Grown Weed Humor | Gnome Pothead Puns |
| Funny Stoner Monkeys | 2 | Animal Pothead Puns | Weed Light Bulb Jokes | Happy 420 Jokes |

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