Q. Why do aliens visit the Mile-High City? A. Denver is just a little closer to home!   PainfulPuns.com - Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

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Weed Leaf Says: Wake Up And Bake Up!
Q. Why do aliens visit the Mile-High City? A. Hey, I'm not getting paid for these tourism ads!
Q. Why don't stoners get into arguments? A. They choose to take the high road!
Q. Which 1970s band do stoners still enjoy? A. The Doobie Brothers!
Q. What do you call a doped-up Pikachu? A. Tokemon!
Q. Why did the pot head plant Cheerios? A. He thought they were donut seeds!
Hulk & Gnome Pot Humor: Gnoming Green, Before & After


Cannabis Humor, Funny Weed Jokes, Grass Puns
Spark up weedy hot stoner humor, high-minded pothead puns, and edible cannabis jokes.

Stoner Jokes, Blunt Humor, Marijuana Humor
(Because Mile High Marijuana Humor, Spliffy Jokes, and Blunt Puns Could Never Be Too Mainstream in Colorado!)
Warning: Happily Proceed at Your Own Risk! Weed IS Funny in Colorado ... And Weed IS Still Funny in Colorado!
| Weed Jokes and Cannabis Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | Blunt Weed Humor | 2 |
| Legal Weed Jokes | Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Mile High Buzz | Stoner Pick-Up Lines | 2 | 3 |
| Pot Poetry, Marijuana Mantras | Ganja Music Jokes | Pot Party Puns | Weedy Funny Munchies |
| Incredible Green Hulk | Spaced Out Aliens | Gnome Grown Weed Jokes | Gnome Pothead Puns |
| Funny Stoner Monkeys | 2 | Animal Pothead Puns | Weed Light Bulb Jokes | Happy 420 Jokes |

After Colorado legalized cannabis, my grandpa asked me to download Rocky Mountain High!Chimp chef says: After Colorado legalized marijuana, there were a few hours of peace followed by a statewide food shortage!What did the alien say to the grower? Take me to your weeder!

Q. Does marijuana make you stupid?
A. No, but it absolutely does make you laugh at stupid jokes!

Q. Which is a stoner's favorite Colorado Symphony Orchestra song?
A. Beethoven's 420 Symphony.

Rockin' 420 Quip: Dude, this song smells amazing!

Q. Why did the Denver ad agency hire bees to write copy for the new cannabis edibles company?
A. Because they know all the local buzz words.

Q. What do you call a BYO cannabis party on 420?
A. Pot Luck.

Colorado Cannabis Pick-Up Line: Hey, my friend and I are having a bake sale. Wanna joint us?

Q. Why do so many tourists visit the Mile High city?
A. To pick up on so many smokin' hot cannabis come-ons.

Hungry Stoner Pick-Up Line: Hey, If you were a potato, you'd be a sweet potato. If I was a potato, I'd be a baked potato.

Q. What should you do if you come across a green alien?
A. Wait until it's ripe.

Q. What does a spaced alien say when he's ready to take off?
A. Let's Roll!

Q. What does a pothead say when he's heading out the door to walk home?
A. T H C you later!

Q. Why did cannabis go mainstream in Colorado?
A. There were a lot of potent arguments in its favor.

Q. How many stoners does it take to change a light bulb? A. None. Lava lamps don't burn out, man!Wolf Says: Welcome to Colorado's High Country! Dogs Welcomed!Hulk Says: Happy High Day!

Q. Which day of the week do burned out light bulbs enjoy the most?
A. WeedsDay! 'Cause matches, lighters, candles and stove burners light up the night.

Q. What does a Colorado light bulb call a miller moth on marijuana?
A. Buzzed and annoying as splat.

Stoner Gnome Poem: Puff puff. That's nuff.

Did you hear about the Mile High cannabis job fair? Over 70,000 stoners meant to attend.

Q. Why was the big Colorado dog still eating?
A. That blue brand grass-fed bison dog food gave him the munchies.

Pothead Point to Ponder: If your dog laughs at funny weed jokes, but growls at pot puns, does Fido have high standards?

Q. What do stoners always take along on scenic Colorado sight seeing trips?
A. An High-powered desire for purple mountain's majesty.

Mile High 420-ism: Just Doob It!

Q. What do stoners always take along on Colorado getaway trips?
A. An ounce of high-powered cannabis.

Weedy Bad Come-On: Hey Calendar Girl, is today 4/20? 'Cause I want to THC you naked.

Q. Why do Denver musicians like playing a Mile High?
A. Because of the view up here!

Q. What gift would a Colorado plumber appreciate on his birthday?
A. A pipe cleaners.

Q. What did the frog say after lighting up? A. Don't worry, be hoppy!Alcohol Kills. Weed Chills!Green ET Says: Dating used to be dinner and a flick, now it's dank and a dick!

Q. What did the tortoise stoner say about the new indica strain?
A. It's turtle-y awesome, dude!

Q. Which snack cake brand do svelt stoners recommend most often?
A. Little Doobie.

Green Love: Kiss me, I'm High-Rish!

Greasy Stoner Pick-Up Line: Hey, need some lube for your cotton-mouth?

Q. What's the name of the new medical marijuana dispensary across the street from the gym?
A. Joint Effort.

Q. How can you tell your cannabis is true Colorado?
A. 'Cause good buds always stick together.

Colorado Cannabis Trivia: Mary Jane Mountain became part of Winter Park Ski Resort on January 30, 1975, adding 18 new trails to the high country.

Q. What do you call a horny spaced alien?
A. A Weed Whacker!

Q. Why don't folks in Denver, Colorado have to get high even though they legally can?
A. Because they're already a mile high!

Q. What do you call dining on Colorado cattle raised grazing on half grass and half weed?
A. High Steaks Gambling.

Weed Poetry: When you pack it tight, a blunt is a wondrous sight.

Big Ape Asks: Which pot strain is preferred by strangers in the night? A. Dooby Dooby Doo!Taters Ask: What do you call spud one that smokes weed? A. A Baked Potato!Q. What do you call it when a stoner spills his weed on the floor? A. Drug Abuse!

Q. Which porno flick was the favorite of pot growers in the '70s?
A. Deep Roots.

Red-Eyed Stoner Come-On: Hey girl, your eyes are even greener than the weed I'm smokin'!

Q. What do you call the new game where stoners get so baked they can barely chase each other around the yard?
A. It's called Hash Tag!

Q. Which autumn holiday is celebrated by pot heads throughout North America?
A. DanksGiving.

Q. What do Denverites call a stoner comedian at Comedy Works?
A. Pot Roast.

Thanksgiving Point to Ponder: Why does eating grass fed turkeys from Colorado give you the munchies?

Q. Which History Channel show is about redneck stoners?
A. Dank Dynasty.

Q. Why do stoner monkeys in Coloradans stay high?
A. 'Cause they like the view up there.

Stoner Anti Pick-Up Line: You are right! It appears that smoking weed makes you stupid, 'cause the more I smoke, the dumber you sound.

Q. How many Broncos fans does it take to change a light bulb? A. Non. Lava lamps don't burn out, man!Q. What do you do if you see a space man while getting high? A. Park in it Dude!Cannabis Trivia? Sinatra's ad-libbed closing "Dooby-Dooby-Doo" gave the creator of cartoon dog Scooby-Doo the inspiration for his name!

Q. How many Broncos does it take to change a light bulb?
A. It depends which team's shadow the Broncos are in!

Bright Stoner Come-On: Hey Mary Jane, I don't even need to change that light bulb 'cause you're on fire!

Timeless 420 Quip: Dude, it's 2:40. Close enough!

Q. What time of the day do stoners always look forward to?
A. High Noon. 'Cause it doesn't matter if the light bulb is burned out, or not!

Q. What do you call a cannabis distributor riding a bike?
A. A drug peddler.

Q. What is the universal emoticom of potheads everywhere?
A. The smiley face!

Q. Why couldn't the lifeguard at Chatfield Reservoir save the drowning stoner?
A. 'Cause he was too far out, man.

Q. Why is Colorado's legalized marijuana industry doing so well among tourists in UFOs?
A. Because legal cannabis is in high demand.

Q. Which version of a famous stoner song was Humphrey's favorite?
A. Don't Bogart That Joint by Country Joe and The Fish.

Q. What is a Colorado Sublime fan's favorite song?
A. Smoke Two Joints.

Q. What's the name of the Denver cannabis dispensary on Capitol Hill?
A. The Health Joint.

Confusing Cannabis Pick-Up Line: I'm eating Skittles. Wanna taste the rainbow?

| Weed Jokes and Cannabis Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | Blunt Weed Jokes | 2 |
| Legal Weed Laughs | Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Mile High Buzz | Stoner Pick-Up Lines | 2 | 3 |
| Pot Poetry, Marijuana Mantras | Ganja Music Jokes | Pot Party Puns | Weedy Funny Munchies |
| Incredible Green Hulk | Spaced Out Aliens | Gnome Grown Weed LOLs | Gnome Pothead Puns |
| Funny Stoner Monkeys | 2 | Animal Pothead Puns | Weed Light Bulb Jokes | Happy 420 Jokes |

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